RE: Your path.........
Hi Crystallove.....I think I know how you feel a bit....my husband is a very (as he'd say) down to earth type....if you can't see it or touch it then it's not real...although he's shared one quite unexplianable expereince with me he'd sooner try & think of a logical explination. It took me quite a long time to even admit to him what my believes were...I even used to hide my books in the bathroom & read them in the bath!! He knows why I've found a spiritual path....like you I aslo had post natal depression with me 2nd baby (also like you I didn't want to take pills either but as soon as I started to admit how I felt...espically to my health visitor who was brilliant..I started to feel better. The whole storey that re-woke me to the fact that theres something more then what we see is (to me anyway) truely amazing & one day I'll get around to shareing it.
It sounds to me that your just learning to love yourself more. You say you love your husband so I don't see any harm in you telling him about the things that he does that upset you...because if he doesn't know they upset you then he's got no idea of how he's making you feel which isn't fair on him.....imagine it the other way around....if it was you who does or say's something in a certain way
that was upsetting him but he was trying to cover it up so's not to cause any argument I'm sure you's prefare him just to be straight with you....people can't really change sometime unless they are helped by being told what's good & bad.
I know from person experience that if you always let something pass that really gets to you then it can fester into a really big problem. Can you try sitting down with your husband & have a kind of 'spring clean' & bothof you talk through the good & the bad & see what you can both do to make your live together even happier...
It's early in the morning & I've got a major case of brian fog so I hope my post make a bit of sense.
Remember yiour only loving & repecting yourself....keep it up
Wishing you all the best
Love Amy
xx
RE: Your path.........
Hi Crystal
I can understand what you are egtting at, I am in a relationship but my hubby to be is open minded and I made sure I explained what I was doing when I met him, he is fully supportive of what I am doing and also of setting up the business, as long as it doesn't stress me he is fine with it!
My ex tho was another matter, [:@] I was with him for 5 years and he knew that I did meditation and stuff like that but over the years he became very distrustful of it and because he didn't understand it I wasn't really allowed to practice any of my readings or such. It was not a great time for me spiritually and I really lost my path, It started to come back towards the end of the relationship, I was looking for things to change about my life as I knew I wasn't happy (first thing to go was the long hair that I hated and he loved lol), I started meditating again and I knew I had to leave when he started dreaming that my indian picture above the bed kept falling on him and killing him (I had the indian long before the bf lol), this had been happening for 6 months before we decided to give up. Also I was getting dreams of him dying and I was infatuated by a guy at work which made me realise that I wasn't in love with my ex!
The best thing I done for me is to leave and not go back, as soon as I got out and into my flat I was a different person, even friends noticed it and commented on how I had changed, but the release was emmence for me and my spirituality came back with a huge rush so much that I was overwhelmed by it and it took me about a year to fully get back into it and to sort out everything, now it is part of my life and if people can't accept me for the person I am I have no respect for them.
Only you know what you must do, and I am not saying you should leave, we can all advise and put across our personal experiences but in the end you are the only one who can decide what you must do. I know that doing things subtly works and also asking him for input. Change is good but it is hard when only one person is doing it as the other person can feel left out.
Good luck in what ever you decide and I am being told that you should continue with your journey as things will become easier as time goes by.
With love
m!
RE: Your path.........
Hi Crystallove,
i think i know what you are saying cos i think the same is happening with me. I met my husband 3 years ago, and he was so connected and i was still asleep. Then he stirred something in me and i have never looked back, it has been wonderful.
The thing is i have canged so much and my husband seems to have stopped exploring his path. I have tried to encourage him to read different things in a bid to start him back off again, but nothing seems to be working. Again like you i dont want him to change but i dont want him to stop, but i know the choice is not mine, it is his.
It is becoming increadingly frustrating and i feel like my words are falling on deaf ears and maybe he has a slight resentment that i have had the time to explore my spiritualiy and he feels bogged down with routine, but again that is his choice, because he has on occassion stayed up til 3am on the playstation but complains he has no time to read.
I have tried taking a back seat and ignoring but like you say that doesnt help how i feel. Infact at times it makes me cringe!
So i think the thing is to be patient.
Every second is a chance to make a difference and i dont look back to where we have been for to long. If i find mind wandering back i just repeat STAY IN THE NOW, and mostly, i know what we have is special therefore i also know that between us things will flourish.
There were times in the past when he has slowed downed to walk with me when i was struggling and i guess its my turn to slow down and wait for him.
Beth x
RE: Your path.........
Hi Crystallove... spiritual change is very difficult to deal with in any relationship, especially when it makes one of the partners start to challenge established ways of reacting and thinking. It can break up a marriage... or it can make it stronger.
I used to long for a hubby who fully understood the path I am on and my earlier myopic fixation on the 'importance' of my spiritual path as opposed to our relationship nearly scuppered us for good! At one point he really hurt me because he said he didn't want to know anything about what I was doing and I desperately needed to share... in the years since, I have continued my development, with his full support, but he has no idea of much of what I do. Still, one time when we were watching the end of a John Edwards prog, he asked if what had been discussed was true and I told him a little about my experiences in that field, so there's hope for him yet.
Bottom line, he is very down to earth and keeps me anchored and has also given me space and money (!) to pursue my work, which I am very grateful for. I have finally accepted that he has to walk his own path and as long as he is walking alongside me, then I have no right to demand that he change spiritually. (changing emotionally is another matter, lol!)
One thing I learned was this - you can't change or control your partner's growth - but you can change yours, and you can change the energy. As the energy is altered, then your perceptions and reactions alter with it and so do those of the people around you. That's why you lose some friends, gain others... and eventually gain a new strength of purpose and confidence.
Blessings
Otter
RE: Your path.........
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:(:(:(:( I can't see the screen to type at the moment (so I'll keep it very brief for now). THANKYOU ALL SO VERY MUCH.
[sm=grouphug.gif] I have taken something from each of your posts.
I'm so very greatful to you all for taking the time to post.
I will add to this thread, but can't at this time as I'm VERY tearful & can't focus/see the screen.
I will return later to post.
Thankyou all once again (from the heart)
Love, Light & Blessing's
Crystallove XXXXXXX
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