Hi,
Im 34 years old and not had sex for 9 years.
Ive recently thought of going with an escort.
About 6 years ago, I was seeing a girl and after six months we finally slept together. It didnt go well and the sex never happened (I suffered PE).
I didnt hear from her again after that night. Since then I lost all confidence.
For want of a better term, I could do with "practice" so this might not happen again if I meet someone new.
Is this wrong?
Will it bring bad karma?
Err was it just me who found this post distasteful? Or was that the intention :046:
Wasnt my intention but the moderators can feel free to delete the post
If there were no prostitutes or drug dealers there would be no addicts / punters .
If there was no alcohol there would be no alcoholics .
Without one there will not be the other .
So many perspectives on what is a right and wrong way of being / doing / not doing .
If one feels cheap or if one feels seedy in a way where one is ashamed of their actions then only self harm will come of it .
You hear of those that entertain relationships with no strings attached (friends with benefits) 
and many have had one night stands ..
There are differences of course in that respect but in some respect there is sameness as in there are two strangers having sex .lol . ... although one's getting paid for it ..
If one is a willing escort and one is a willing punter then the only issue is one's perception regarding the inns and outs (excuse the pun) of sex and what it means to them morally etc ..
x daz x
I didn't find the post distasteful - it's real life, and I admire the courage in posting something so intimate, and this man is seeking help, not judgement.
As to whether it is wrong or not, I can only quote the immortal words of the Bard, "for there is nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so."
Same could be said about karma, too 
It would depend on the circumstances.
For instance, if you were married and intended to sleep with a prostitute without your wife's knowledge or consent then that in my opinion is wrong.
In the eyes of the law in many countries it is illegal, there are consequences if you get caught. So the risk is yours.
If however like yourself, you don't have a partner and feel you lack sexual experience then I think it is an option. If you do decide to approach a prostitute make sure you use a condom and ask if they are regularly being checked for STI's, avoid any who appear under the influence of drugs/alcohol. If you suspect they are being forced into doing this or are too young then walk away.
In my view prostitutes should be protected and currently the law does not do this. I feel that it should be legal because then it can be regulated and to some extent the ladies who choose to do this will be more protected from abuse from pimps and clients, just my opinion and I know many would not agree.
Hi,
Im 34 years old and not had sex for 9 years.
Ive recently thought of going with an escort.About 6 years ago, I was seeing a girl and after six months we finally slept together. It didnt go well and the sex never happened (I suffered PE).
I didnt hear from her again for that night. Since then I lost all confidence.For want of a better term, I could do with "practice" so this might not happen again if I meet someone new.
Is this wrong?
Will it bring bad karma?
Dummy run?
Confidence is lost. That failed attempt at love making...has knocked it out of you...but could not have been there in enormous measure to start with. Started way before that incident perhaps.
Forget about sex for a bit.because if you fail again at practice session...what then? Stay in the fullness if yourself. Embracing the whole package of bad, beautiful and damn right ugly...all inclusive. Whatever it is that you like, dislike, hate and damn right detest about yourself....make it all ok with you first.
Drop the need to be perfect before you can be loved (either by yourself or others)
Settle in your own skin. Believe me when you are good enough for yourself, you become good enough for everyone else.
The other rejects you because you have rejected yourself first. This simple mathematics we can't see. If we could life will be easier.
Stay loose and natural, enjoying celibacy for the time it wants to last. In its simplicity life does not deprive you of any of the joys it has to offer, just stay cool, not trying too hard to grab things. They come on their own, if you slip out of the way.
As for moral issues....what is good and what is bad? What you make bad, becomes bad, what you do happily, joyously, with open heart becomes a prayer. One can go to a prostitude in the right energy/attitude and find unsaid peace or one can live with wedded spouse in sin...who can say??
Chill man!
It will all come good, go do things that you really enjoy....women will be chasing after you if you are cool with yourself
Love
In my view prostitutes should be protected and currently the law does not do this. I feel that it should be legal because then it can be regulated and to some extent the ladies who choose to do this will be more protected from abuse from pimps and clients, just my opinion and I know many would not agree.
Just to be clear...
Prostitution itself isn't illegal (in the UK at least), though Soliciting is.
All Love and Reiki Hugs
I worry about how many women are illegally trafficked into the UK and forced to work as prostitutes.
The classic booze fuelled one night stand is another way to get back in the game (usually because neither party can or wants to remember what happened), but probably wouldn't be a confidence builder.
If the OP wants a grown up relationship and finds someone who he likes and who likes him then you can talk about it and they'll understand if there's no fireworks at first. It often takes time for both people to relax before the real fun starts.
I worry about how many women are illegally trafficked into the UK and forced to work as prostitutes.
The classic booze fuelled one night stand is another way to get back in the game (usually because neither party can or wants to remember what happened), but probably wouldn't be a confidence builder.
If the OP wants a grown up relationship and finds someone who he likes and who likes him then you can talk about it and they'll understand if there's no fireworks at first. It often takes time for both people to relax before the real fun starts.
One night stand is another option, but its not very fulfilling for sure and certainly doesn't do anything really for self-esteem and no way to get feedback either "was it good for you?". There is a significant difference between a one night stand and sex as part of a healthy relationship, a one night stand will fulfil an urge but that's about it. Your right that it does take time to build up a relationship and trust to be able to fully enjoy sex with your partner. Any partner worth being with, will be considerate, patient and will help you to build your confidence in the bedroom department.
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Dude, listen it's completely unnecessary!
The fact you aren't having sex isn't the problem per se. It's a symptom of a greater issue about your personality in general.
I had a similar problem. No attention, no sex, nothing. For years..
I always thought the problem would "solve itself" but it never has.
About 4 months ago I started looking into it - pickup, pua, social dynamics, and what I realized is I had confidence issues, insecurities, terrible voice tonality, body language, lack of responsibility etc...
I was outcome-dependent: I couldn't just be happy myself, I needed outside sources to draw happiness from.
(bad. super bad. you must become a source of good vibe, not leech it from others)
All of this I am in the process of sorting out. Bit by bit everyday I'm watching speeches, reading articles, taking notes, going out and engaging people.
.. And guess what, I'm getting attention, good interactions, compliance, number closes, dates, makeouts etc. and I have just started.
Just this Friday in a club I had a girl grabbing my shirt, pulling me closer, dancing etc., then leaving the club with me. She gave me the number, kissed me and asked me to call her... We couldn't get a taxi - she had her 2 friends and a brother &@£$blocking us.
Most people don't know a thing about pickup, and just rant about it being all lies.
In fact, it's all about changing your core beliefs and transforming your personality + adjusting your body.
The real pickup is all about self-development.
There's loads of nonsense on the Internet. But I've gone through most of the stuff you can find, and I can recommend you specific YouTube speeches, conferences you can download, audiobook etc. all you need to know to sort this out.
If you really want to do it the harder (but WAY more rewarding) way - pm me. I'll send you all the resources, links etc. the moment my new member restriction gets lifted.
Oh, and you can sort out / address PE.
There are many foods that raise your testosterone levels, losing fat (adipose tissue produces estrogen) etc., but the main part is psychological.
You have to get rid of nervousness, anxiety, and stop being results-oriented when it comes to it. Taking it slower and immersing yourself in the process helps.
Think of it like
Sprinting vs Dancing.
The goal of Sprinting is to arrive at a destination asap.
The goal of Dancing is... to dance. There is no goal. It's a process for the sake of enjoying the process.
So yeah the mentality has to shift here too.
Premature ejaculation is very common in men who've not had sex for ages and are therefore nervous. There's simple techniques for overcoming this problem- you can research them online or in books. You probably don't need to see a therapist. It's mainly just a symptom of anxiety, which is normal in the circumstances.
My advice would be to focus on building your own confidence, controlling your own anxiety down to a manageable level, and making sure you're not avoiding women or pushing them away somehow.
When you encounter someone whom you find attractive on all levels, then take it slowly, let things happen naturally.
The trouble with seeing a prostitute is that this might not be a good preparation for sex within a relationship- the physical actions would be the same but the emotions would be totally different.
Sleeping with a prostitute wouldn't be wrong per se - as long as you didn't use a street prostitute (I have no problem with the sex industry as long as neither side is being coerced) But I don't think it would solve your problem.
You have had some sensible advice given by others. I don't have much to add except that as a hypnotherapist I know the mind body interface is incredibly complex - and undoubtedly your problems are in your mind not your body.
Good luck
I would suggest getting out there and meeting a woman you actually trust who will help you overcome this problem. Paying for a prostitute probably won't. Though sleeping with a prostitute isn't wrong - it has being going on for hundreds if not thousands of years. But really, meet a nice woman who understands you and it will really be a better long term solution to all of your problems.
Obviously it is wrong man!!!! Go marry someone and then sleep