Living with Negativity ........

RE: Living with Negativity ........

Hi Rum...

I am not in the position as you, but was your husband in my 20's to part 30's..

I will try my best to tell my story...

When I was a young child I lived in a family of negatives... I had no brothers or sisters, uncles or aunts my my parents split up, so was me, mum, nan and grandad.. within that enviorment was negativity, one towards my dad, whom my mum/nan etc hated... As I grew up I never knew what it was to socialise with adults and extended family, my family did not know how to laugh... My mum got re-married, to someone who did not know how to laugh, so the circle continued.. from the age of 11 when I went to junion high, I met a friend who had happy family life, from which I learn't much, but within that learning, I still had a very negative attitude to life, I hate life, people, eventhing was black, no one was nice, people always let you down...

I got married at 19, and still carried the negative trait, felt no laughter in my life, it was far easier to be negative that it was to be happy... I had children, and I did my best with them, but again still negative.... as I was negative, I was also bringing people to me that were also negative, in as much I could be saweyed with peoples opinions, esp if the were negative...

My husband was the one to be there for me, and in a way, bring me up, he has beeb my rock, even though been at the end of my tongue and actions etc.. he is a positive person, never moans, even tho life is hard.. so by being with him, I believe his 'energy' slowly worked on me... from around the age of 28, a change started to happen, although there were relapse at times, my energy started to change, and I started to bring positive people in my life... when I think back to how I was, it makes me cringe..

Why have I written this?, not too sure, but as my negativity started in my childhood, maybe he has had some conditioning from his childhood? if there a fear to be happy that something may be taken away, if there a fear of being excited about something, again may not work out or be taken away, for this is how I was as well... to be negative, and things go wrong, we can never be let down, and is far easier to take this path....

To change, something within has to change, to give us that push, we may not even know what that push is, I dont know what mine was, except, my spiritual awareness or path, became more aware to me.. I also started to look at what I had rather than what I did not have..

I know this may not be the reply you need, but I felt so strongly to write how I was, in hope that people can change, as I did... as for my family.. my nan died miserable person. my mum, black is still black, and funny she said Sunday, if u think its black you are not disapointed when it ends up black... I even told her that the more she is like this, the more she will bring to her, 'crap'.. but I gave up ... she could not understand..

Love to you, and I things work out for you..

Much Love
Flowerx

RE: Living with Negativity ........

Dear Ru[sm=hug.gif]

...I had no idea that you were feeling this way...I guess that's the idea is'nt it...we're all happy little bunnies on the outside but inside...lord we hurt...yes you have taken a massive step by sharing this with us all but it is your step.
It is hard when you love someone that always seems to see the negative side to most, if not all things...but, as harsh as this is going to sound...that is their right...we cannot all be on this spiritual path and those of us that are sometimes find it difficult, not only to deal with the issues that arise for ourselves but for those issues that arise within our partners...(does that make any sense)?

The very fact that your husband is 'comfortable' with the way he is...kind of tells me he does not want that to change...therefor...he won't.
But, why are you trying so hard to be positive for the two of you? I have learnt from experience that not only does this not usually work but it wears you out!
Perhaps trying to take another perspective on it all may help...not going to be easy I know...but just be positive for you...move forward with your ideas, your ways, your emotions/feelings...move forward with what you want...ok, this may sound as if your leaving him behind & in a way you are...but, if he is happy for you to move forward on your path...and its obviously what you want...then do so
Who knows, maybe in his time he may find that he would like to walk a similar path...but until then dear Ru...remember this is your time...take it, lifes to short ...

luv & peace
Jay x

RE: Living with Negativity ........

Flower, thankyou for your reply -
you are right about the childhood thing. His parents are the same, he is becoming his father !!

I know that if I could be 100% positive all the time then it would be the best , but as I am still working on my own issues at times I cannot do this. Then I feel weak and as if I letting the both of us down.

I do sometimes wonder wether the push that he would need would be losing me, as then it would be such a wakeup call for him.
I am so tired of feeling my heart sink when he comes home at night- it is so sad and demoralising.
At times I just wish there was someone who could pick ME up, as I surely could do with it at times.
Ooooh, just listen to all the self pity .... eeuwww !! Horrible !
See, I can't be negative for too long - it drives me barmy !
So, I'll just get on with it ...........
Love Ru x

RE: Living with Negativity ........

Hi Rum...

I feel and even tho I was the negative one my end so to speak, you have to do what you feel is right for you.... some people change, some do not, and dont wish to change because of fear, and what I feel is 'sad' is that your huuby it seems from what you have said, he has tried different techniques, and just cannot take that next step forwards for change..

I feel, what Stormdeva says...but until then dear Ru...remember this is your time...take it, lifes to short ... ..

We can only be there for others, and try our best, but change has to come from within, and a want for change... I just wish there was more I could say to help you..

With Love
Flowerx

RE: Living with Negativity ........

Dear Ru

Yes wake up call is excellent there is nothing worse then a partner not truly understanding why the relationship has not worked out, so yes from the heart of compassion explain exactly how you feel to him and that you do not think there is any future with the way things are.

Then he has a choice to make, either he changes or you leave him behind.

The guys are finding it very hard to face up to the fact that they need to process what is going on with themselves and do some serious self development work, and there is a limit to how much patience one can have when the other is just not shifting or progressing at all.

Quan Yin says that 'we must nurture the male energy and they must protect ours'
but if the guys are not working with their own energy and inner being in a serious way their negative energy can have a profound negative effect on our own energy.

Just last year I did not realise how sitting in my own son's energy of frustration was having a detrimental affect on me until I became ill. So if we do not give our partners wake up calls we will get one ourself instead.

A dear friend tried so hard and patiently with her husband for such a long time but the more she tried the more he stuck his heels in, then one day she met an amazing spiritual guy and that was it her marriage over instantly.

She discovered in hindsight that in fact her marriage had been empty for years and had not realised it until she met someone that had so much more to offer her on all levels of consciousness.

The relationship with the spiritual guy didn't work out he was in the US and she was here in the UK but she has now met someone else, she has not regrets of leaving a 14 year marriage she had no idea until afterwards how much her husband was holding her back and how many issues were his and not hers.

Onwards and upwards dear Ru we are being moved to where we need to be and with whom we are meant to be with so many relationships are breaking up right now enabling the true unions to come together for the benefit of ourselves and humanity.

I should add that I am usually the one that trys to keep marriages together and we have saved a few in the last few years by helping people to 'change their perceptions of their reality' so only you can decide which it is for you. Follow your heart and soul and all will be well.

Hope that this helps in your time of reflection.

being love

kim xx

RE: Living with Negativity ........

Dear Ru
You'll probably get lots of replies, as I think lots of us can relate to what you're going through

I think roles within relationships are so confused now, causing deep issues between partners. Also women tend to deal with the natural inner changes better then man which can make the relationship divide wider.

Author Gary Zukav he describes how we can relate differently to bring about a kind of spiritual partnership:

Spiritual partnership is partnership between equals for the purpose of spiritual growth. It's the new way of relating. It's the new vehicle for the new male and the new female. It's only when you have the courage to enter into a real relationship that you can grow spiritually. And you know when you are in a real relationship because that person is irreplaceable.

The energy of marriage doesn't fit the new female. It doesn't fit the new male either because the new male is not emotionally inadequate. The new male does not need a female to bring tenderness and caring and warmth into his life because he provides that for himself.

I hope you can both work through these painful times but I do feel sometimes certain relationships have a natural time span, if there's not mutual support to carry on.

astra[sm=hug.gif]

RE: Living with Negativity ........

I think this poem sums it up well:

Let there be spaces in your togetherness.
And let the winds of the heavens dance between you.
Love one another, but make not a bond of love.
Let it rather be a moving sea between the shores of your souls.
Fill each other’s cup but drink not from one cup.
Give one another of your bread but eat not from the same loaf.
Sing and dance together and be joyous, but let each one of you be alone,
Even as the strings of a lute are alone though they quiver with the same music.
Give your hearts, but not into each other’s keeping.
For only the hand of Life can contain your hearts.
And stand together but not too near together:
For the pillars of the temple stand apart,
And the oak tree and the cypress grow not in each other’s shadow.

~Kahlil Gibran

RE: Living with Negativity ........

Hi , I am quite a fan of the Abraham material and if you were asking him about this, you might be gently encouraged to write a lsit of your husbands postive qualities..eg I love his grin/he makes great omlettes, his hair smells nice after the shower/he has a quick mind etc.What we focus on, grows...

in light

tigress

Distant Kundalini Attunements & Treatments

RE: Living with Negativity ........

Dear Astra

I love that quote

'And you know when you are in a real relationship because that person is irreplaceable.'

but is anyone ever irreplaceable ?

I know that I thought most of them were in the past, only to find that there was a better opportunity around the corner.

hmm..food for thought!

being love

Kim xx

RE: Living with Negativity ........

but is anyone ever irreplaceable ?

Yes Kim..have to agree with you there. It implies a kind of dependence on the other person, so not sure what Zukav means there.

x

RE: Living with Negativity ........

Hello Ru,

Well, you've had so many lovely answers here that I almost didn't write, but just wanted to add, that you don't have to live with negativity, you can live with the image and likeness of God instead (and you already do!)

Just think of all the characteristics you dislike as the counterfeit of who your husband really is. It's not him, as his real character is God-like - joyous, enthusiastic, caring, happy and delightful!

I remember once when a friend from HP e-mailed me and said "Please pray for me. I hate my husband." Up till that time, it was always complaints about him, but something changed, gently, gradually, until there is a strong friendship and a caring and companionship again that had not existed for many years, so don't despair.

Here are two couples' experiences you may like to read too.

A marriage renewed

Pray your way to a stronger marriage

With love,

Judy

RE: Living with Negativity ........

Dear Ru,

I am with you all the way.

God Bless and love

Gillyxxxxxxxxxxxxx

RE: Living with Negativity ........

Dear Ru,
I too live with a husband who is always negative and you are so right how draining it is on your own energy. Because you and I are the people we are we try to keep everything on a lighter note and see the positive in most situations but that can be very irritating to a person who cannot feel that way. I have (in desperation) threatened to leave my husband in the past but if you love someone that is easier said than done, plus I have the children to consider. We have had many talks over the past 8 years and to give him credit he has tried to be more positive but I just cannot make him understand that his negativity attracts even more which I get dragged into. In the end I told him that for my own sanity I would have to travel my own path whether he came with me or not and that would run the risk of us growing apart emotionally and Spiritually. I think that came as a bit of a shock for him but we are still together (nearly 28 years now) and he is supportive in his own way although he doesn't always understand or agree with the things I do. So I have my own 'life' which includes Reiki and Psychic development. I have wonderful friends that I can share my thoughts and experiences with so I don't have to rely on him to support me there.
I understand that feeling of 'dread' when they are with you. When the girls were little I would read them a story before bedtime downstairs, snuggled together on the settee. I always new when my husband was walking up the path after work because I would suddenly 'nod off' and the girls would say "Daddie's home!" before he even walked through the door!! He was draining me before he even walked through the door!

At the end of the day we must do what is best for us so I wish you well with whatever you decide, it's not easy

Love and light

reikiangel

xxx

RE: Living with Negativity ........

Thankyou so much for all your replies - I can't tell you what a lift they gave me, even tho' I am not really in any clearer frame of mind !

I am in my second marriage, and left my first husband, who is the father of my children, because I learnt over the 6 years we were together that he was unable to communicate, he found talking very hard and as I am the opposite, we were ill matched as a couple. However, he is a wonderful Dad, sees our children every weekend and we have a good relationship now as parents.

Lacking confidence after the end of this relationship I rushed inot the one I have now, and married despite having underlying doubts - having children and the knowledge that they are dependent on you and need stability and security is such a powerful force! And so we have built a lovely home, security in abundance, a settled and predictable life, which I could relish if it were not for the hundreds of times a week that I hear a negative comment.

We do talk, and he admits that he has NOTHING to be unhappy about! He blames it all on his childhood, but I pointed out that by going through all the difficulties of the past he has ended up here - with a near perfect life, and therefore could he not be grateful for the past, as it has brought him to today !!

He agreed, and almost immediately continued with his gloom. I could scream with frustration at times - what usually happens is I let it go, until one day there will be the straw on the donkeys back scenario and I flip. This happens very seldom now, I think because I have such good friends to share it all with, but it does not lessen the strain.

I know I am scared of another split, having been thro it already , and knowing how hurt so many people would be. Then of course the practicalities. So I feel it is a case of 'better the devil you know' .......... a silly approach because as Storm (xx ) says life is so short and I need to grab it and go !

He has been given many ultimatums over the past 8 years, and all work for a very short time and then fizzle out.

The problem with stopping being 'positive for two' is that if I do that, I need to withdraw and block out his words and actions, and when I do this he thinks I don't love him anymore and becomes even worse - then the children suffer and I can't sit and watch that happening. So I am Pollyanna outside and inside I am crying.
Oooh sorry, hope I haven't depressed you !
It is so good to be able to share this now, thankyou again everyone,

Love Ru xxx

RE: Living with Negativity ........

Hi ruminumi

Look for that little niggling voice in side you that is telling you what to do
The dose not come from fear but is probably the scariest thing to do and is why you find you in the place or space you are in

Walk in love of who you are and send love

I was in a relation ship that was negative and with a very critical the positive energy that I spent on the relationship would drain me to
But I had the program running that I had to be the perfect husband in that i could not leave but bless her heart she left and all this energy and man I was off so positive I could feel things again all these emotions like a stallion being locked in a coral and finding some one opened it freedom to think the way I wanted to
me and her are still good friends and friend know they can invite us to functions with out a seen and I will chat with her and her boy friend
This is awesome for our daughter and our peace of mind

As I say I love her and will always respect her and is a awesome lady but I cant live with her our dynamics don’t work and wish her the best in her life thank the times we had together

Lots of love brent

RE: Living with Negativity ........

Dear Ru

Well if you cannot get him to do it for you, see if he will do it for the children I recommend a video by Dr Bruce Lipton called 'Conscious Parenting' the power of love. It is all about about the 'biology of belief' and the effects that positivity and negativity have on our cells and well being. It might be the springboard that he needs...

CHILDREN LEARN WHAT THEY LIVE

If a child lives with criticism he learns to condemn

If a child lives with hostility he learns to fight

If a child lives with ridicule he learns to be shy

If a child lives with shame he learns to feel guilty

If a child lives with tolerance he learns to be patient

If a child lives with encourgement he learns confidence

If a child lives with praise he learns to appreciate

If a child lives with fairness he learns justice

If a child lives with security he learns to have faith

If a child lives with approval he learns to like himself

If a child lives with acceptance and friendship he learns to find love in the world.

Anon.

being love

kim xx

RE: Living with Negativity ........

Hi all,

just a few points from a male perspective, and a male that two of the posters here know, has had his fair share of both self and partner negativity.

You can elevate a person's emotional appraoch to their life in two ways, just as you can lift a physical burden: you can drag it by force and levers from a superior position or you can lift from a position of equal height or even from below.

I just wonder if by giving a negative person an ultimatum, undoubtedly a crude tug with a rough rope, you are merely adding to the seeds of his/her gloom.

If you get 'down to their level' and say 'I understand you, I feel your pain, we have shared so much, it is inconcievable that we are not in large part one soul - let us together rise and count our blessings, one by one, and when we have finished counting, just look around and re-assess - you will be amazed', then you will see the first sign in their eyes of understanding and most important - hope.

As one who has cried out for a hug all his life I know which approach would work with me.

Leo

RE: Living with Negativity ........

I give you this with love

And is what I had to say to my self in my relationship

One thing you can’t change any one all you may be able to in power them to change and that is through love and support not ultimatums and fixing ( and don’t mean that in a bad way I give that with love)
But that’s a big may
Its what do you want can you accept him the way he is or do you want to live in the hope some day he will change no mater how long it takes
The more he thinks he needs fixing the negative he will become the more awesome he thinks he is the more positive he will become

Can you see him ever thinking he is awesome can you make him believe that
And how much energy do you want to spend doing that

Lots of love Brent a big hug and wish you all the best
i was lucky in the end the i didnt have to choose

RE: Living with Negativity ........

Thanks Kim for that .... I love that poem and have often read it and try to apply the priciples to bringing up my children.
This is a difficult issue for him as he left his children to be with me - lots of guilt there. He finds it hard to bond with mine, despite living with us for 7 years ! He is very critical of them, sometimes ridiculously so.
He sees his own children most weekends and they adore him and are affectionate to him.

Vortex - your words are very thoughtful and I will reread them - every different perspective is a help in so many ways.

Leo ......... totally agreed with your image of the 'push or pull' method ! Over the 8 years I have often tried the gentle and loving approach, talking, encouraging, suggesting until I have run out of ideas. I swing between this and then becoming so demoralised that I am tired of trying. My ultimatums are borne out of complete frustration and the misguided thought that perhaps the fear of losing what we have will be the way thro' to his subconscious! There was a program just on the tv about the 'carrot or stick' methods of motivating people and strangely the carrot bunch who were mollycoddled didn't do as well as the stick bunch who were treated quite badly ! Which was quite a suprise, but perhaps fear CAN be a big enough prod at times to take action ? Not that I condone inducing fear - far from it - the ultimatums have all been given with an honest intent - to help him in the long run.
But I can well see your point, and I am extremely affectionate and loving towards him, loads of hugs and cuddles and 'I love you's '.
I am also pondering on the fact that 'who am I to tell him he has to change ?'
Although he DOES tell me that he hates the way he is and wants to be different. This is why I am so confused, because if that is true, why no real steps to do it ???
Its clear as mud !!!

Love Ru xx

RE: Living with Negativity ........

Dear Ru

That's just the point you don't have to tell him that he has to change, you step back and tell him that it is not for you, its not working for you, no blame, just allowing him to move towards you with the solution and further dialog if it is meant to be.

This is about how this relationship and energy is making you feel. So express what you feel otherwise we suppress it and get blockages in that throat chakra which won't do at all!

big smiles

kim xx

RE: Living with Negativity ........

Hi Ru

The problem with stopping being 'positive for two' is that if I do that, I need to withdraw and block out his words and actions, and when I do this he thinks I don't love him anymore and becomes even worse - then the children suffer and I can't sit and watch that happening.

What I am going to say is with a loving heart and absolutely no intent to cause offence...
from the quote above, is it possible you are both subliminally seeing how far you can take each other before creating a 'bust-up'?

My ultimatums are borne out of complete frustration and the misguided thought that perhaps the fear of losing what we have will be the way thro' to his subconscious!

If you give an ultimatum and then not follow it up, it becomes worthless and at some level your husband will already recognise this and ignore it knowing that eventually all will slip back into the 'norm and safe' state for him.

For some people the more they are given an ultimatum the further away they will drift as they feel they are being controlled by the person giving the ultimatum. If you then 'ignore' your own words the other person will quite happily continue with their behaviour because they know that ultimately they will get away with it.

If you do not want to leave your husband then don't give such ultimatums, find something that is true for you and stick to it. Be it, 'yes I will live with you, but I will walk my own path' or something else. Then he may well contiue to critizize you, but in your own heart you will know you are following and upholding your own truth.

Like others in this thread, I have been there. Happily - and yes it took a long time - we have come through closer and more in love than ever before.

jj

RE: Living with Negativity ........

Dear Leo

I agree with all you say but sometimes things are just not meant to be, for in my own experience when it is meant to be and is divine love then everything is easy. It simply falls into place, but many people fear self development and allowing their weaknesses and feminine and vulnerable side to be shown.

There are many ways like Brent says to show someone how awesome they are and shower them with your love but if they do not truly believe it themself or work on making it so for themself, there really is little more one can do.

So then one can make a decision that is right for the self and also the children involved for IMHO they are the priority, for we are impacting on the rest of their lives and what eventually transpires in their own relationships the negative transgenerational cycles continue.

It was amazing working with the underprivileged families because the more they worked on themselves the more they realised that there negative childhood programming was having a major impact on their own children and their self esteem. This realisation helped them to make tremendous leaps in consciousness empowering themselves and their children to do it a different way.

But getting all the negativity out in the open is the best way forward then compromise can be reached if two people love each other enough. Often people do refrain from doing this due to fear of loss and rejection. So again, more issues to be addressed for the person that wishes to raise the current situation. When we truly love ourselves we are fearless of sharing what we feel in truth laced with love.

Ru's husband is comfortable with who he is that tells me that he is probably stuck in his comfort zones and sometimes it is only when those comfort zones are taken away do people really get to the core of themselves and who they truly are. Sometimes a catalyst is needed to springboard someone into a far superior way of being for themself and for others.

'Love can conqueor anything, one just has to love enough.'

But it truly must start with the self, sometimes we hold on to the past out of guilt and fear of the unknown for if we truly value and love ourselves why would we choose to live in negativity?

Also negativity can become a comfort zone, the same happens for people who are depressed they know who they are depressed, they know this condition well and happiness is a new way of being that is totally new and scarry territory for them.

So as I often say, one has to get to the root causes of the core issues so that strong foundations can be layed and blissful happiness can reign, after all it is our individual divine birthright and the divine plan for all.

being love

Kim xx

RE: Living with Negativity ........

And then of course we get to the question of how does one have the courage to walk away from somewhere where there IS love?

I have done this once - I still have love for my ex husband, as the kind person that he is and the loving father, and the rememberance of the pain that it all caused is still vivid 9 years along the line.

Could the answer be that THERE IS NO ANSWER - in my heart this is what I feel - that there are many routes I could take from here, and NONE OF THEM ARE WRONG, Conversations With God echoing in my head here ..........

I am searching for what I believe is the definitive solution that will guarantee success and happiness when there isn't such a thing.

The fact that I have now a second problem marriage surely shows that I have issues within mySELF that are unresolved, and who is to say that they would not occur again and again if I keep placing the blame outside of myself ?

I am certainly aware of these issues and perhaps I have not seen the link between these and the negativity that exists here ? Are we not all a reflection of each other ?

This post shows clearly why I am where I am , becuase I swing between these two places ...
1) feeling that the issues are HIS and that I can not change things and we are ill matched and should part
and
2) feeling that they are just a reflection of my own problems and that I should take responsibility for them and do all the work to make things better.

The middle ground - that of working TOGETHER is probably the best approach as already stated above, but we haven't very successfully conquered that one yet.
I do get quite resentful at having to be the one who instigates EVERYTHING - I long for the day when he shows some enthusiasm and motivates himself. So therefore I often don't bother.

Ooh this thread is showing up my weaknesses so much ! But hey ho, I would rather that was the case if this will help in any way, and I know you folks are all understanding souls !!!

Love Ru xx

RE: Living with Negativity ........

Dear Ru

'Are we not all a reflection of each other ?'

Well Archangel Michael says not and that the 'mirror' is a cliche, he asks us 'do we have the same nose's, the same eye's, the same hair or the same childhood experiences?'

No we do not so how can we possibly be a true reflection of another?

But if there is negativity in our aura then the cosmic law of attraction magnetism will attract that which we need, to ensure that we heal that which we need to heal. So yes you are correct in what you are saying but it is a magnet rather then a mirror and here there is a major difference. One person could be 75% whole and another 30% whole but they could still attract because the other person is ideal to trigger to the appropriate issues.

I guess the truth is does the relationship cause you any pain?

If it does it is not love.

Is it unconditional love on both sides?

Or is one compromising one's dreams for another?

All important questions we constantly ask ourselves.

As soon as we recognise our weaknesses we have 50% healed them and it is awesome to be in your space of recognition and embracing both the strength and weakness with unconditional love.

There have been times in my own life when people were sent to trigger me and i wasn't ready to look at that bit yet....but sure enough new people and situations kept coming until I did and do heal it.

So good to become the observer of what is going on, so one is not emotionally attached or taking all this speedy growth personally.

Onwards and upwards Ru I feel sure that your heart and soul will lead you well.

being love

Kim xx

RE: Living with Negativity ........

Kim, with your many faceted postings on HP, it is so easy to forget that you are a hard working full time professional healer and counsellor and have helped more people than I've had hot dinners - I bow totally to your wisdom.

Love

Leo

RE: Living with Negativity ........

Kim, that explanation of the magnet/mirror idea is so clear and helpful - thankyou.

Love Ru xx

RE: Living with Negativity ........

As soon as we recognise our weaknesses we have 50% healed them and it is awesome to be in your space of recognition and embracing both the strength and weakness with unconditional love.

I would like to ask... once recognised we have 50% healed them.. my ? is, how do we heal the other part, or what advice could be given to heal the other part?

Love Flowerx

RE: Living with Negativity ........

Dear Flower

Sometimes people do not recognise their weaknesses so once you do you are 50% of the way there, the other 50% you can then work on to heal/change it, how you do this depends on the weakness.

For some perceived weaknesses are actually strengths anyway when seen in a new light with new eyes.

being love

kim xx

RE: Living with Negativity ........

Hi Sacredstar

Thank you for your reply, I am at mo trying to work out something within me, a part of me thinks I have found it or a link to what it is, and I know when things come up and like hit us in the face, its time to look and get sorted... other than walk around with tears in eyes on and off......

Love Flowerx