RE: Adult Bullies and why they do it???
I wonder if more control should have been maintained or if the problem should have been tackled earlier.
Two excellent points IMHO, and at the same time two excellent lessons. The Universe is normally very obliging in providing opportunities to present a similar situation and to try something a)different and b)sooner, on another occasion 🙂
However, on this one:
or they ignore me and in that case they aren't worth bothering with anyway.
I would like to suggest some compassion for the souls who are exactly where they need to be at this time for the lessons THEY have to learn (or maybe not, this time around), and a gentle letting go before moving on. It saves a lot of energy!
Holistic
RE: Adult Bullies and why they do it???
Thank you M! for bringing up this subject. I have come across bullying in the workplace myself. In fact every job I have been in since leaving school has had its bully. Tough when you are only 16 and in your first job but I eventually found the backbone to stand up and say no more.
As the pattern repeated itself over the years I thought there might be something I was missing for this to keep happening and made the descision not to let that person have that power over me and made a concious effort to continue being polite,work hard and be flexible. That way the bully ran out of things to pick on without looking like a bully in front of everyone else. Over time the bully actually became a very good friend ( in every job) so when I left I was able to move on emotionally and it almost felt that I had done something positive for the bully?
I do feel that bullying comes from fear/lack of confidence in their own abilities. When my girls were at junior school there was a particular family who upset a lot of the kids and parents. The children were physical bullies but when you saw their parents effing and blinding at the school gates to other parents you could understand why. I asked my girls to try and look beyond the behaviour of these kids if they started on them and try to understand WHY they were the way they were. It was hard but I think it taught my girls to feel compassion for this family. They now have confidence in any bullying type situation which makes me very proud of them.
I agree it's an experience that makes you change, a learning curve, and when looking back these people came into our lives to give us this experience.
Love and light to all those who have suffered,
reikiangel
xxx
RE: Adult Bullies and why they do it???
Hi I was bulled at school and in other times in my life till I found spirit and what a change around
For me thay showed me how people stand and there eye contact in that I saw my self walk all was looking at the ground and never making eye contact with any one
now I walk up right look every on in the eyes and find most people turn away before me and others just smile back because of my smile and never had a problem with bullies
In fact would love to meet them and I do but dont use the label bullies for them and spirit channels just the right thing at the right time
A bully normally is very opinionated and sits in judgment on everything and if he is doing that to others normally dose the same to himself in self talk
Lacking in any sense of self power or how awesome he is in side from that self talk
Looks for power in external control to compensate the lack of internal power and self worth
its like if i show up this person weakness thay wont see mine
Thats what I have found people watching
All the best in being the awesome person you are
Love brent
RE: Adult Bullies and why they do it???
Thanks M! for starting this thread. It's something quite close to my heart and has been for a number of years.
I was bullied years back at work, being told I wasn't good at my job etc and being made to stay behind and do extra work. It felt good when I finally stood up to one of them but it's always left me feeling a bit paranoid at work.
Anyway, the main point to my reply, is my best friend. I love her dearly and she has a heart of gold but she is a bit of a bully. She bullies her mum and she tries to bully me but I don't stand for it but it's just so tiring having to fight back all the time. She was bullied quite badly as a child and since then has had low self esteem and constantly strives to be better than everyone else. Consequently I'm always caught up in arguments where she 'knows best' and 'black is white'. She has a constant need for attention and validation from those around her.
Shes hard work but I'm glad I have her.
RE: Adult Bullies and why they do it???
I am having the biggest revelation in my life right now. I'm always afraid. And it's because I've become this big adult punching bag for bullies. I don't know what happened. I was the one that protected other kids from the bullies on the play ground. I stood up to the bullies. And now all I attract are bullies. The worst one is at work. She's equal to me at work but from what I've been reading about adult bullies is she's threatened by me. She and the other bully in the office have ganged up on me. The other bully wants my job. She applied for it but I got it. That's the whole reason this bully'ing started. But I'm not sure what to do to protect myself. They are saying bad things about me and it's isolating me. People are believing what they are saying. I don't know what to do. I work in a room where I'm by myself half of the time I'm there and that's where they target me. Because there's no one around to hear them. One of them keeps coming in to tell me that I'm only lucky around there if she likes me. She runs the show. She hit me 3 times in my arm telling me that she has people that can take care of people like me. I told my boss. And now i feel like I'm the problem. My boss is avoiding me. Turned down my request for reimbursement of training. While letting them off 2 half days to go to school and paying for their tuition, books, & software. I don't know what to do now. Lately I've been going through some health issues and being sent to specialist. But I really think it's all because of the stress. I don't want to leave because I will just run into another bully maybe not this bad but I want to learn to deal with them here and now. Any advise would be appreciated.