Dear all
I've been meaning to post this for ages but for some reason have delayed.
The problem i have is that i have difficulty falling asleep if things aren't 'perfect' - i know its all in my head but if there is a crack of light or i can hear seomthing - no matter how quiet, i decide that i can't sleep and therefore can't!
A particular issue is with my partner, sometimes i find it very difficult to fall asleep when we're sharing a bed - i have this overwhelming desire to push him out 
(i don't though!!). He doesn;t snore or actually disturb me in anyway but psychologically it really effects me. This happens particularly in 'my' flat but not in his house whihc very much feels like 'our' house rather than 'my' flat. We've now bought him a spare mattress so he can stay at mine without us both getting aggrivated!!!
The most challenging thing for me is that i think these responses are based on past conditioning. On the one hand being with people i'm not really in love with and therefore wanting to run away, which is no longer the case, and on the other having my mum repeatedly tell me how moody and disfunctional i am without sleep - 'you know how awful you are without sleep' 'you'll be useless in the morning' etc whihc means that i worry about not being able to sleep even though i do so very well most of the time.
Anyway, what would be the best way to break though these issues - i was thinking hynotherapy? Any suggestions welcome.
With love and gratitude
Sunbeamx
Hi Sunbeam,
One possible suggestion is that it could be to do with the Feng Shui and the "Form School" of your bed. In Ming Gua there are West and East life people and it could be that you and your partner's best directions are different. Also it could be that the way your bed is facing in your flat is towards one of your inauspicious directions, though at your partner's house it is towards one of your good directions.
If you PM me your dates of births and the compass directions of both your's an your partner's beds I can advise you further.
ooo Open Waves, would you mind doing this for me?
Hi Sunbeam,
Your challenge can potentially be helped in a number of ways. One possiblity could be to find someone who can bring to the surface what is buried (emotionally) to help you realise and release it, or someone that can maybe rewrite your conditioning.
Hypnotherapy, NLP, EFT etc. could all potentially help. Perhaps ask if they specialise in the above so you can get a targeted approach.
Warmest Regards.
Thanks so much to everyone that has replied. Open waves - thanks for your input but its unlikely that i'll ever have a compass to measure the directions!
PBR i was looking at a hynotherpay and nlp pratice in norwich and you're advice indicates this may be agood route.
Thanks again to all Sunbeamxxxx
Open waves - thanks for your input but its unlikely that i'll ever have a compass to measure the directions!
No need for compass - just note where the sun rises in the morning (east) or where it sets in the evening (west), and you can work it out from there.
Masha
I have a partner who had the same problems. The solution she found was to have a couch in the spare room, that she used when she couldn't sleep.
Hi Jeannie,
Of course. PM me your partner's and your birthdays and the directions of the bed.
I would definitely recommend Hypnotherapy (and not just because I'm a hypnotherapist).
A problem such as this should be quite straightforward for any hypnotherapist to treat and the treatment should be fairly brief. I've lost count of how many people I've helped with similar sleep problems.
In many cases it isn't necessary to delve into why you do it, I often find that in just a couple of sessions you can reframe how you react to the normal sounds and other environmental factors (such as your partner laying next to you) around you. Most people should see results quickly, even from the most basic hypnotherapy techniques, it's normally a very straightforward problem to solve.
If you do decide to use hypnotherapy to solve this problem then I would suggest, if possible, that you try to find a therapist through personal referral from someone you know. If you don't know someone who has had a hypnotherapy treatment then look at some of the regulating bodies directories (such as the General Hypnotherapy Register, National Council for Hypnotherapy etc).
Just came across this thread and had to smile as I thought I was on my own with this problem. It is causing major rows between me and bf, and he thinks I am crazy to suggest we get a spare bed for when I am having my 'moments'. Thing is if I am any bit annoyed I will stay up the whole night, whereas if alone I will more than likely just go to sleep. I had insomnia as a child so it may be connected to that.
Sunbeam, I am just wondering if you found a resolution for your problem?
I have a similar problem with my partner: I am a bit more restless when he's in the bed too, but the main problem is his snoring!
It's not even that loud most of the time, but I am a very light sleeper so can't sleep through it at all.
I now sleep with earplugs most of the night, but they're not that comfortable so then I wake up because of that 
And when his snoring gets louder, it still wakes me up anyway. Some nights I wake up at least 10 times, never less than 5 times, and it's wearing me out and driving me up the wall sometimes. Have been considering sleeping in the spare room.
Is this something I could "desensitise" myself to with hypnosis? Or is the spare room the only solution?
Well unless your partner is aware that this is a problem for you, and tries to get a solution for his snoring then why should you have to get hypnosis?! I'd make him go check it out - he could have an obstruction or something in his throat that could be easily rectified.
When I moved in with my bf I was exhausted for months because of our different sleep schedules - I would go to bed early trying to sleep and end up awake until he came in, then would be woken up really early by his alarm going off, then snooze, then alarm, then snooze, then alarm. In the end I just flipped out from tiredness!
I have moved to the spare room - for many reasons, but as far as I am concerned it has been a good move, as at least we both get a better night's sleep! It doesn't mean we are any less communicative - in fact probably more so, as we are less annoyed with each other!!
Moving out needn't be a permanent solution, but maybe a couple of nights a week to get some respite? Worth a try?
Hmmm maybe every healthy relationship should have a spare bedroom then
Get a bigger bed?
We got a new bed a few weeks ago and it is huge, I sometimes can't even feel my hubby in the same bed as me.
Angel x
Get a bigger bed?
We got a new bed a few weeks ago and it is huge, I sometimes can't even feel my hubby in the same bed as me.
Angel x
LOL, if the bed were any bigger, there wouldnt be room for anyone to walk in the room! (I think its a personal space thing rather than physical space thing anyway)!
Haha same here: we have a super king already
Yeah my bf knows it, I'm not really sure what's causing it. His nose is a bit blocked up at the moment, I'm suspecting it may be a slight hay fever. It varies: sometimes there are a few weeks where he doesn't snore much at all, but recently it's been quite bad. Also alcohol and him being tired make it worse. And weight I think: he was skinny when I first met him, and back then he wasn't snoring at all. We've tried those nose plasters, but they're not doing much and are quite expensive.
Sleep patterns is another thing: he often goes to bed later than me, and I usually struggle to sleep then because I'm sort of half waiting for him. Then he'll snore all night and I usually have to get up sometimes up to a few hours before him.
And on the rare occasion that I don't have to get up that early, he'll do that alarm-snooze thing a few times. Which wakes me up on the first one, so I'll get up cos I usuallly can't go back to sleep after that, while he will stay in bed for another hour!
Reflexology iS ABSOLUTELY FANTASTIC for snoring,my hubbie now sleeps like a baby,before he was like a tractor:D
Haha same here: we have a super king already
Sleep patterns is another thing: he often goes to bed later than me, and I usually struggle to sleep then because I'm sort of half waiting for him. Then he'll snore all night and I usually have to get up sometimes up to a few hours before him.
And on the rare occasion that I don't have to get up that early, he'll do that alarm-snooze thing a few times. Which wakes me up on the first one, so I'll get up cos I usuallly can't go back to sleep after that, while he will stay in bed for another hour!
Sounds very very familiar!!!! :rolleyes:
when i first met my partner, i had been single two years and sharing a bed with someone again took some getting used to! His snoring bothered me also, he can be heard downstairs! i have gradually got used to it,but sometimes use lavender or chamomile oil to help me relax, also howlite crystal hels me with insomnia, but then i have to get well grounded in the morning!
try affirmations for self-esteem/re-programming, there may be an emotional release as you let go of the old, but the benefits outweigh the short unsettling feelings. love and light xx
Luckily, there are a variety of essential oils that can help with insomnia or sleep deprivation.
These include Lavender, Roman Chamomile, Ylang Ylang, Bergamot, Sandalwood, Marjoram, Sweet Basil and Frankincense.
For insomnia caused by stress; ylang ylang, neroli, marjoram and frankincense are great oils to help calm the mind and promote relaxation.
Lavender is one of the best options for sleep deprivation issues and can be simply applied on the temples, wrists and back of the neck before going to bed. 2-3 drops should be an adequate amount initially. It's good practice to be a little flexible with the quantity until you find what works best for you. If you intend to apply the oils topically its a good idea to blend the essential oils with a carrier oil such as sweet almond or jojoba oil.
If you plan to use the oils via diffusion, simply apply the oils to a diffuser before sleeping or take a bowl with hot/steaming water, add the oils into the bowl and take deep breaths inhaling the steam rising from the bowl.
Another great medium for getting better sleep is through mixing essential oils with tea. Bear in mind that some essential oils should not be ingested so please do your research before ingesting any type of essential oils.
Add 1 drop (don't need to over do it as essential oils are strong in taste and potency) of Lavender to your tea before consumption. This should help calm the body and get you ready for a good night of sleep.
People react differently to the types of essential oils they try also in respect to the medium in which they use the oils. Its a good idea to experiment and see what works best for you.
A great bath recipe that helps with insomnia would be:
2 Drops of Ylang Ylang Essential Oil
3 Drops of Lavender Essential Oil
Add the essential oils to a warm bath and mix all ingredients.
Soak for min of 10 minutes in the bath with your eyes closed and take deep breaths and inhale the wondrous scent.
Hope this helps someone get a better nights worth of sleep. 
Hopefully the OP has found the solution - it was nearly 8 years ago.
Indeed. If anything, I hope the info helps someone else who might be having issues getting sleep.