Dear all
I've been meaning to post this for ages but for some reason have delayed.
The problem i have is that i have difficulty falling asleep if things aren't 'perfect' - i know its all in my head but if there is a crack of light or i can hear seomthing - no matter how quiet, i decide that i can't sleep and therefore can't!
A particular issue is with my partner, sometimes i find it very difficult to fall asleep when we're sharing a bed - i have this overwhelming desire to push him out 😮 (i don't though!!). He doesn;t snore or actually disturb me in anyway but psychologically it really effects me. This happens particularly in 'my' flat but not in his house whihc very much feels like 'our' house rather than 'my' flat. We've now bought him a spare mattress so he can stay at mine without us both getting aggrivated!!!
The most challenging thing for me is that i think these responses are based on past conditioning. On the one hand being with people i'm not really in love with and therefore wanting to run away, which is no longer the case, and on the other having my mum repeatedly tell me how moody and disfunctional i am without sleep - 'you know how awful you are without sleep' 'you'll be useless in the morning' etc whihc means that i worry about not being able to sleep even though i do so very well most of the time.
Anyway, what would be the best way to break though these issues - i was thinking hynotherapy? Any suggestions welcome.
With love and gratitude
Sunbeamx
Hi Sunbeam,
One possible suggestion is that it could be to do with the Feng Shui and the "Form School" of your bed. In Ming Gua there are West and East life people and it could be that you and your partner's best directions are different. Also it could be that the way your bed is facing in your flat is towards one of your inauspicious directions, though at your partner's house it is towards one of your good directions.
If you PM me your dates of births and the compass directions of both your's an your partner's beds I can advise you further.
ooo Open Waves, would you mind doing this for me?
Hi Sunbeam,
Your challenge can potentially be helped in a number of ways. One possiblity could be to find someone who can bring to the surface what is buried (emotionally) to help you realise and release it, or someone that can maybe rewrite your conditioning.
Hypnotherapy, NLP, EFT etc. could all potentially help. Perhaps ask if they specialise in the above so you can get a targeted approach.
Warmest Regards.
Thanks so much to everyone that has replied. Open waves - thanks for your input but its unlikely that i'll ever have a compass to measure the directions!
PBR i was looking at a hynotherpay and nlp pratice in norwich and you're advice indicates this may be agood route.
Thanks again to all Sunbeamxxxx
Open waves - thanks for your input but its unlikely that i'll ever have a compass to measure the directions!
No need for compass - just note where the sun rises in the morning (east) or where it sets in the evening (west), and you can work it out from there.
Masha
I have a partner who had the same problems. The solution she found was to have a couch in the spare room, that she used when she couldn't sleep.
Hi Jeannie,
Of course. PM me your partner's and your birthdays and the directions of the bed.
I would definitely recommend Hypnotherapy (and not just because I'm a hypnotherapist).
A problem such as this should be quite straightforward for any hypnotherapist to treat and the treatment should be fairly brief. I've lost count of how many people I've helped with similar sleep problems.
In many cases it isn't necessary to delve into why you do it, I often find that in just a couple of sessions you can reframe how you react to the normal sounds and other environmental factors (such as your partner laying next to you) around you. Most people should see results quickly, even from the most basic hypnotherapy techniques, it's normally a very straightforward problem to solve.
If you do decide to use hypnotherapy to solve this problem then I would suggest, if possible, that you try to find a therapist through personal referral from someone you know. If you don't know someone who has had a hypnotherapy treatment then look at some of the regulating bodies directories (such as the General Hypnotherapy Register, National Council for Hypnotherapy etc).
Just came across this thread and had to smile as I thought I was on my own with this problem. It is causing major rows between me and bf, and he thinks I am crazy to suggest we get a spare bed for when I am having my 'moments'. Thing is if I am any bit annoyed I will stay up the whole night, whereas if alone I will more than likely just go to sleep. I had insomnia as a child so it may be connected to that.
Sunbeam, I am just wondering if you found a resolution for your problem?
I have a similar problem with my partner: I am a bit more restless when he's in the bed too, but the main problem is his snoring!
It's not even that loud most of the time, but I am a very light sleeper so can't sleep through it at all.
I now sleep with earplugs most of the night, but they're not that comfortable so then I wake up because of that 😀 And when his snoring gets louder, it still wakes me up anyway. Some nights I wake up at least 10 times, never less than 5 times, and it's wearing me out and driving me up the wall sometimes. Have been considering sleeping in the spare room.
Is this something I could "desensitise" myself to with hypnosis? Or is the spare room the only solution?
Well unless your partner is aware that this is a problem for you, and tries to get a solution for his snoring then why should you have to get hypnosis?! I'd make him go check it out - he could have an obstruction or something in his throat that could be easily rectified.
When I moved in with my bf I was exhausted for months because of our different sleep schedules - I would go to bed early trying to sleep and end up awake until he came in, then would be woken up really early by his alarm going off, then snooze, then alarm, then snooze, then alarm. In the end I just flipped out from tiredness!
I have moved to the spare room - for many reasons, but as far as I am concerned it has been a good move, as at least we both get a better night's sleep! It doesn't mean we are any less communicative - in fact probably more so, as we are less annoyed with each other!!
Moving out needn't be a permanent solution, but maybe a couple of nights a week to get some respite? Worth a try?
Hmmm maybe every healthy relationship should have a spare bedroom then
Get a bigger bed?
We got a new bed a few weeks ago and it is huge, I sometimes can't even feel my hubby in the same bed as me.
Angel x