How about you and your girlfriend taking a massage class together. You can give and receive pleasure in a non sexual way that usually leads to sex at some point because you are both relaxed.
When I try stopping at the critical point and waiting a few moments, I end up loosing the erection, so either way its all over.
...
My job involves around 7 hours of sitting and my legs are always ice cold. Has this got anything to do with it?
....
Maybe I am not good a foreplay, as I have never been able to get her to climax via foreplay, or penatrative sex for that matter....
I'm a body psychotherapist and do a lot of work with sexuality. There are several issues here that are worth noting. One of the main ones is that of body awareness. I suspect that you may have a lot of body-armouring in the pelvic region, which is likely to have several consequences. Firstly, the energy is not flowing below the waist, which explains why you get general circulatory problems in the legs. It will also result in a lack of awareness of your own arousal levels: your "critical point" is clearly too critical, and you need to become more sensitive to how your body actually feels - and your genitals in particular. The coldness of your legs evokes to me the phrase "getting cold feet" - and makes me wonder about your attitude towards both your own sexuality and sexual intimacy with a partner.
The other issue is that of your current partner. What is her sexual history? Did she reach orgasm easily with previous partners? Does she orgasm when she pleasures herself? It takes two to tango, as they say. The problem may not be all yours. People who unconsciously carry a great deal of sexual shame or wounding often constellate sexual problems in their partners. The one I have most commonly encountered is that of women constellating premature ejaculation in a man: her 'energy' is effectively telling the man to hurry up and get it finished...
In a forum like this it's impossible to give answers. The whole thing is a mixture of your mental and embodied psychology, plus hers, plus the way those two meet. That's a lot of factors!
Good luck.
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Hey Matty30...I realize your post came many years ago but I'm hoping perhaps you'll see this message....
I've experienced PE and shy bladder for many years and just like you said, I notice my whole self flinching when my genitals are touched even very lightly....I've been studying Alexander Technique for about 6 months now and definitely see it as an amazing technique that I believe will be able to help me overcome this. I notice myself getting extremely tense and flinching even when just thinking about getting aroused. I've been practicing letting the tension release and giving myself the alexander directions while in a state of arousal but it is certainly a slow process. I'm wondering if you could describe a bit more how you came to overcome the tension and the flinching and the PE and shy bladder in general. I would very much appreciate it. Thanks so much and hope you have a wonderful new year.
I can recommend to you two things.
First. satisfy your girls orally. And only then shoves. I do so.
Second. To try priligy. To google in web.