to J.mmm

I read your post and have strong feelings for you. I understand this one real well. I have some questions and suggestions if your open to it.
I'm assuming your visual as well as intuitive?
Here's a few books that are really powerful
"Meeting the Madwoman"
An inner challenge to the feminine spirit
"Witness to the fire"
Confronting addiction and creativity
both by Linda Leonard
"women who run with the wolves"
Clarissa Pinkola Estes
These books all affirm and support the unusual issue of Mental health, addiction, and creativity. They let it be known that this is not 'madness' - it's a way of being who you are- that can work.
warm regards,
Leslie