Forum
My brother keeps getting loans and in debt.Now it´s got to the point were my dad could lose his house.My brother cant have a bank account anymore so my mumopened an bank account for him in her name.But now she is over drawn on the overdraftand he has´ntpayed the money back.Her husband is going to pay it so she doesnt have to go to courtMy nameis on one of the debts some how(i think he has forged my signature.i find out next week.i´ve heard that he has done this before)so i could end up being black listed.Is he addicted to spending moneyor is he just selfish and doesnt care aboutwhat he is doing.I´ve tried talking to him but he just gets angry and hangs up the phone.(i cant talk to him face to face because i live in a different country)How can i get through to him?
RE: Is my brother addicted to spending
Hi there
Hi there Cap,
It certainly sounds like your brother has a problem. I also hope that once your mum clears the debt on the account that she shuts it or revokes his powers to use it again for her own protection and to prevent this from happening again.
I am sure I have read about cases where people’s signatures were falsified and it was sorted out so they did not get blacklisted. This was done with signature comparison, also what address and bank account numbers were used for the "loan payout" and if you have proof that you were not in the country at the time.
Sounds like your brother is in denial and is very selfish without consideration to you or your parents or how it would affect others. It is very sad to hear, and even more so that he does not want to speak to you about it, perhaps this sounds hard, but perhaps not helping him out and letting him learn a hard lesson he might seek help, it certainly sounds as if he needs some therapy.
I wish you good luck.
Andrea
RE: Is my brother addicted to spending
hi cap [sm=wave.gif]
my personal opinion is that if your brother cannot get through a day without buying something that satisfies a need within himself then yes, he does have an addiction to spending money, especially if the things he buys are unnecessary, duplicates ( ie, same style shirt but in different colours) and are just dumped still in their bags or hidden.
your brother has got complacent as i feel that his mindset is "oh- someone will bail me out" hence his selfish attitude. like andrea says, sooner or later he will have to face up to his responsibilities whether he likes it or not and now his "safety nets" have now collapsed under the huge burden he has created the moment has come-even more so for what he done regarding your signature is fraud.
only he can sort out this whole sorry mess and i think that "tough love" where all the family members are united is required . he's not given a thought for the consequences your family have suffered from his actions and nows the time for all of you to say enough is enough and no more bail outs.
warm wishes-calla lily x
RE: Is my brother addicted to spending
Thankyou both for your help.You are both right it´s time for "tough love".I hope it makes him realise and it makes him sort his life out.My dad doesnt want anything to do with him anymore and my mum and her husband are close to doing the samething.We´ll have to see how this plays out.Once again thankyou so much
take care
Cap