Hi everyone,

This is my first blog on here although I have been a member for sometime now!

To be honest with you I am not sure how to start or where to start! but here goes......

I am a single mum who has been on my own with my two teenage boys for 5 year, although I did have a partner for about 18 months, we broke up in feb this year, he wanted me but not my boys, he only every saw me on a saturday lunch time until sunday lunch time... Since we split I have been on a couple of dates and some I have really liked, but because of my mental state I have been too much for them after one date and they have not wanted to see me again! I have also done silly things in the past like sleep with someone just because I thought it would keep them!! but afterwards I have felt so dirty and used!!

I really struggle with self confidence issues and my weight really depresses me, although i will comfort eat and binge when I am low.....

At the moment I just feel so low, I have been on and off medication for years now and have had counselling when my husband left me.... but I feel like I am worthless, unlovable, possessive, and out of control in my personal life, although I am trying to hold down a good job and look after my children at the same time......

There is much more I can say but I will stop there as I dont want to bore you all.....

thanks for reading
x

Hello emmano1,

Nice to meet you and thank you for sharing your story. I was so moved by it, I had to reply.

I too, was alone for a long time - a single mum of one child who had various relationships but none of them lasted, mainly because the people involved could not get past the fact that I was a mother and gave my child attention. They didn't like that, so you know what I did? I thought, 'Blow the lot of you, I am happy with my son and I' and I decided to stay single for a very long time, and you know what? I became much stronger and more courageous from being on my own. I felt unlovable and worthless too, and this is how these people make you feel petal, but you are strong too. Just by what you say it tells me that. We all get possessive too, it is a normal human trait that needs handling, that's all. Nothing to say your inner courage hasn't found its way out yet. You have a good job, you are a good mum to your two children and you are keeping a roof over your heads - that has got to be something to praise yourself for. Forget the dates and all that; as you grow stronger in yourself your mental attitude will change and become less fraught, so any new man you meet will feel very lucky to have you for his partner/wife. I have been there, experienced all this first hand. Nothing to be ashamed of, darling emmano, nothing at all. I met my lovely husband when I was 47 and we are married and very happy now. Think of what you have achieved, not what you have failed on - remember, failures are simply achievements we haven't made yet.

Love,
Patsy.
xxxx

Hello emmano1,

Nice to meet you and thank you for sharing your story. I was so moved by it, I had to reply.

I too, was alone for a long time - a single mum of one child who had various relationships but none of them lasted, mainly because the people involved could not get past the fact that I was a mother and gave my child attention. They didn't like that, so you know what I did? I thought, 'Blow the lot of you, I am happy with my son and I' and I decided to stay single for a very long time, and you know what? I became much stronger and more courageous from being on my own. I felt unlovable and worthless too, and this is how these people make you feel petal, but you are strong too. Just by what you say it tells me that. We all get possessive too, it is a normal human trait that needs handling, that's all. Nothing to say your inner courage hasn't found its way out yet. You have a good job, you are a good mum to your two children and you are keeping a roof over your heads - that has got to be something to praise yourself for. Forget the dates and all that; as you grow stronger in yourself your mental attitude will change and become less fraught, so any new man you meet will feel very lucky to have you for his partner/wife. I have been there, experienced all this first hand. Nothing to be ashamed of, darling emmano, nothing at all. I met my lovely husband when I was 47 and we are married and very happy now. Think of what you have achieved, not what you have failed on - remember, failures are simply achievements we haven't made yet.

Love,
Patsy.
xxxx

Hi Patsy

Sorry for the delay in replying to your post, I have been very touch by reading it and would like to thank you from the bottom of my heart!
I really admire what you ave achieved, you are a great mum and a great wife from the way you write about your experiences.
I think the reason I date is just that I want to feel wanted even if its only short term! Although I do know that in the short term that will make me feel worse.
I am trying to be a little more positive today but I am sure that I will be having a bad day again very soon.

Love
Emma

Hi Patsy

Sorry for the delay in replying to your post, I have been very touch by reading it and would like to thank you from the bottom of my heart!
I really admire what you ave achieved, you are a great mum and a great wife from the way you write about your experiences.
I think the reason I date is just that I want to feel wanted even if its only short term! Although I do know that in the short term that will make me feel worse.
I am trying to be a little more positive today but I am sure that I will be having a bad day again very soon.

Love
Emma

Hello Emma,

You write so eloquently and so touchingly, that I think you are more than the sum of your parts. Oh yes, dating often can make us feel wanted, attractive, loved even, but to have a long lasting, deep relationship there has to be a willingness to work together. These men whom you have known and who did not want to see you again - believe me, I've had that and Emma, quite frankly, it's their loss, my darling. You have so much to offer the right man, but you need to get yourself 'right' first: mentally and emotionally. You have two lovely children whom you are bringing up as a single parent and that alone makes you strong. Relying on others for strength is bound to fail; you have bottlomless courage and energy, a healthy spirit and your children want you more than anything. It is nice to have you here dear Emma, and friendship, even if it's online, is worth having if the friend is genuine. A lady who has a good job (intelligent too!) and who is bringing home a wage and supporting her family - coo! Not many can say that, petal. Forget those men, they weren't worth having, weren't worth your time and effort. Eventually a happy and lasting relationship will come to you, but begin to enjoy yourself alone with your kids first and then it will just happen. You deserve much more than a first date - you deserve happiness, reassurance and love. It has been lovely to meet you.

Love,
Patsy.
xxx

Hello Emma and welcome to the forum. I am so glad you have posted. Other people have given you very good advice and I am not going to say much.....except that you need to love yourself as well as your boys. I remember when I was depressed that loving myself seemed like the last thing I could ever have done.......but it was by learning to love myself that I got off anti-depressants. Good luck my lovely

You are doing better than you think...you can build your confidence...gently easy does it..

Thank you everyone for your replies.
I am not having a very good day today, feeling a little lonely and lost to be honest with you all.

I am trying to stay positive and think of nice things,I just would just like someone to share my live with at the moment.

Thanks for listening to me again.

XX

Hi Emma, looking at things holistically, our physical world experience is a reflection of our inner consciousness. So if you have limiting beliefs around being unworthy or unloveable, for example, that is what will show up in your reality. It's not your fault as we are pretty much the product of our programming. The good news is, it is a relatively straightforward process to release these and replace them with an empowered mindset, resulting in a much more positive life experience.

Hi Emma, looking at things holistically, our physical world experience is a reflection of our inner consciousness. So if you have limiting beliefs around being unworthy or unloveable, for example, that is what will show up in your reality. It's not your fault as we are pretty much the product of our programming. The good news is, it is a relatively straightforward process to release these and replace them with an empowered mindset, resulting in a much more positive life experience.

Hi woodland wellness and welcome to the forums.

I am a little curious as to who you think does the conscious programming that we are a product of outside of our own aspects of consciousness?

I am trying to hold down a good job and look after my children at the same time......

x

Hey you deserve a medal just for that. Mrs S gives some good advice. Don't try and please the world. There are some good people out there and many have meet their soul mates in later life. Have faith in yourself, a good man always looks below the surface and many will accept you and the children as a family. You don't have to try to impress to get noticed.