can anyone help- please

Hi there Trinabeanbag.

Doesn't life send us a great load of s**t now and then. :confused:

Horrible isn't it. 🙁

Sounds like that life wants you to slow down a bit, and to start sifting the wheat from the chaff, plus to give yourself some time to grieve.

You are going through a tremendous amount of emotional turmoil and you need to give yourself permission to feel it all, and let it all flow out...including the anger later on.
Bit naughty and hurtful what your sister did I have to say.

Life does this to us when our lives need to change direction, and it is very challenging indeed.

keep us posted us as it is very therapeutic to get it all out and to share.

Lots of hugs and blessings. :hug:

Dear Sarah
Thank you for your kind message, we can usually cope with most life throws at us but i feel a whole dung heap has been dumped on top of me!!
My sisters behavior has been hard to deal with its not like her, she normally phones me about 4 times a day for silly little things, she hasnt phoned me since she told me that she had done this, when she told me i went very quiet.
its not like me to make a fuss, I am used to biting my tounge rather than make a scene ( strangely enough I have had a constant sore spot at the back of my tounge for about 3 months now so I guess is connected !!!)
Thank you again.

I have to agree, Trina, it never rains but it bloody pours! The blows just keep on falling sometimes and with each one you think 'that's it; I just can't take any more!' Then, lo, another blow falls and you take it and go on taking it....because that's why it's all happening (I think.) My own experience says that all you can do is just sit through it all and witness. I would imagine that your sister is now feeling bad about what she did. So is it for you to have it out with her - and make her feel worse and probably make yourself feel worse too, if truth be told - or should you just put it behind you and go on. Only you can know. If it's any consolation, from the tone of your post I would say you are doing tremendously. Hang on in there, trina. Things do happen for a reason....although we often never get to know what that reason is. I was taught that if you can accept everything that life throws at you, then it will ultimately benefit you more than railing against fate. I think you're doing great. And in the end all shall be well.

Good luck.

xxxx

Hi trina,

I have to say I read your post with much empathy I think many of us have had times when we are just like "what in the world is going on ....." you really seem to be going through it at the moment.

I would like to send you some Reiki if just to aid you in a bit of healing but can I offer you this link to a website that I feel may well give you some tools to conquer all you are going through at the moment? If you feel like it have a look around and see if it sit's with you. www.sgi-uk.org you really can win you know.

all the best

Skybud

incidently if you have any questions about the link please do not hesitate to contact be you can PM me anytime 🙂

Dear trinabeanbag.

I had done a prayer.

atan.

Many thanks to you all for you kindness, It is very much appreciated
Happy Easter to you all!! I will let you know how I get on

((((((((((((sending angel hugs and rainbows to brighten your day))))))))))) don't forget to ask your guardian angel for help and comfort, and to clear your way xxxxxx

sometimes when we're having a horrid time, a way of turning it round is to start looking for all the good things we have at the moment. Especially in this country there are so many things which we have to be grateful for that we stop to notice. I've done this a few times in my life and it's really helped to turn things round. Because I can't change what's happening at these times when it's all going wrong but I can change how I view it.

Start simple... I am really grateful that I have food to eat. I am really grateful for a warm house to live in. I am really grateful that I had a good relationship with my gran and good memories to treasure. I'm really grateful that I have a computer and the internet so I can get help and support from the comfort of my home!

xxx

Hi Trina

I'm sending you Reiki as I type this.

If you're attuned to Reiki, why not try doing what Usui Sensei recommended and chant the Reiki Principles day and night? Worth a try surely?

I know it sounds simple, but have you thought about having some Reiki treatments? i have just done my course and am healing through my cleansing period, but I can already feel the difference to my life. I was taught that Reiki can help with emotional problems such as stress, depression etc, so maybe Reiki can help you? If you like it you could always do a course and treat yourself.

It gets even worse!!! They have taken Grans ashes back to Scotalnd to be scattered, (they only decided last week they would do it this weekend , I have a housefull of kids and pets and cannot easily drop everything to go , none of them have any other commitments) thats why iasked for them to hold off another week so I could get everything sorted out.

It was my Grans wish to have her ashes scattered with my grandads , when they went to do it , they found out that my darling Grandads ashes were never scattered but instead have been sitting on a shelf in a funeral directors for th last 10 years!!
So not only have I missed on the final good bye to my granny I missed out on my grandads too, If only they had waited another week for me to come too. I am absoloutly devatated by this, I just feel that I dont matter to them.

Hi TrinaBB.

This is so horrible isn't it, and I can understand how you are feeling so alone and not mattering to your family.

We cannot know why people do the things that they do...all that we know is the feelings that occur within us when something like this happens.

These feelings of devastation.... Is it what your family has done, or is it the feelings of not having closure with your Grandparents?

I do feel that when everything settles down, that you need to ask your family why this particular weekend was chosen, and then tell them how you are feeling.
You did say in your previous post that you tend to keep quiet, by biting your tongue, and that now you have a sore spot on that tongue.

Time to speak out maybe...when the time is right...and if you are committed to so doing, then the opportunity will present itself.

Writing a letter is another good way...write a nasty one first....burn it....then write another as then you will see things more rationally after you have got out, and burnt, the pain and anger away.

A friend started writing long, angry letters to her Mother, and she sent them to me via the PM system....It worked.
If you wish to do the same, please do and everything remains strictly confidential.

Love and lots of hugs to you TrinaBB during this very upsetting time.

:hug::hug::hug::hug::hug:

I always felt that my grandparents really just loved me, never asked me for anything just loved me and not having either of them is so very very hard,
I am not particularly close to my mum but I thought my sister and I were closebut obviously she doesnt think so,
I think the letter writing suggestion is a really good one Sarah, I think I will try that. everything is just very raw right now, and I dont do confrontation, so when I am feeling stronger I will do that, thank you for your support

It is my pleasure TrinaBB.

Yes, you are very raw...very natural.
Keep sharing.
Know that your Grandparents still love you and still watch over you.

When you are ready, maybe all of this upset is an opportunity for you to meet that fear of confrontation, as your sore tongue is suggesting that you do, and to forge a new relationship with your Mum.

Life works in mysterious ways.

Love and blessings. :hug: