Sex and the Alexand...
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Sex and the Alexander Technique

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Ive been going to Alexander Technique lessons for a while now for back pain & RSI and its been excellent, really improved things. One thing Ive noticed though (which I cant really talk to my teacher about) is the fact that sex causes a real negative tightening effect (sagging) on my muscles which can last for several days after.

Does anyone else out there doing the technique feel the same?

I know any AT teachers would say stop end-gaining during sex. Easy said than done. Over time things have got better and I feel things will continue to improve. I have read about tantric sex and have sort of felt my body going that direction anyway but not sure if its safe - (dry orgasms etc.)

Any teacher's views would be much appreciated!

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That's a really good question, I never asked my Alexander teacher but often wondered

I think an orgasm usually involves some tension, whether that is bad tension or not I don't know

And end-gaining? I don't know

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I think the key is to focus on relaxing into an orgasm, rather than tensing up to it. Like you say, easier said than done, but it is good :).

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Joined: 16 years ago

Interesting topic.

Can someone describe for me please what end gaining means?


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I'm not trained in AT, but I am a body psychotherapist and have years of training in tantra. I agree with activehealing's comments. For a host of reasons that are fascinating but too complex to state here, people generally try to control the flow of their sexual energy rather than yielding to it and allowing themselves to be carried on the wave. You might like to try Pulsing rhythmic bodywork to help you be more in tune with your natural body rhythm and flow.

'Tantric sex' does not necessarily require dry orgasms - it's the daoist branch of tantra that prohibits ejaculation, others do not. And in any case, multiple orgasms for men are actually whole-body orgasms (as women have) rather than genitally-focussed ones - if you learn to be in your body and go with the energy.

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Hi sorry have nothing to offer OP. But, Richard, can you recommend any pulsing training courses?


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I am also practicing the Alexander technique and I realized for myself that contracting my buttocks and my legs caused the tension and the pain in my low back.

I think by practicing the technique you get more aware of your body and your tensions, and possibly therefore you noticed the tightening during sex.

Hope for now all is well! πŸ™‚