RE: 'desire and attachment are the cause of suffering'

Hi Desiderata

I'm not familiar with the buddhist approach to relenquishing desire & attachment to our desires hopes & dreams, so if you've posted this on the Buddhist forum apologies, as I don't know the approach but would certainly be interested in learning more.....

But! as a fellow human being, I'm very familiar with what happens to my emotional well-being when I hanker after something that is (for the time being) eluding me...my wellbeing is simply undermined & it can even get to the extent where I am so busy focussing on the absent, that I forget to be grateful for what is actually real for me & all the things I do have, & I may be so distracted that I fail to even recognise invitations that may come my way. This usually happens when feeling very stuck & frustrated!!!!

When my happiness & well-being become conditional upon whatever it is I'm hankering after, it can remain that way until those conditions are met, if I get caught up in that 'if only.....' spiral. A very uncomfortable place to be, & one which by my own mental processes & attitude I can keep myself in for a long time, so I definitely identify with you

I don't know if this might help, but the way in which I work toward relinquishing desire & attachment to those desires is meditating on or praying to that divine guidance in my life to help me remove those conditions I've placed on my own well-being. That doesn't mean I let go of my dreams completely, but I work toward letting of the idea that if a,b or c doesn't happen then I can't possibly be happy. The other essential part of this equation is that if we take action toward our desired goals, & we are doing the very best we can to attain them, then we are in fact doing our part, & the rest can be up to the universe, (or the figure we have in our lives that we think of as our higher power etc). I suppose it's about being able to find peace that enables us to live well with our desires, without letting them overshadow us or without completely letting to have them go - it's the elusive bit in the middle....

This meditation might be useful to use......

Something important is happening now

There's never a time when nothing is happening
Something is always taking place. Growth is occurring. We're evolving, transforming, working things out, incorporating our last lesson, preparing for our next. Something is happening. We just don't always see it. And that's how it's meant to be.
When we see, when we know too much too soon, it's easy to let our heads get in the way. We think we have to control, have to force, have to make it happen, have to do something.
In a gentle but wise way the universe takes into account our fears and our natures. It doesn't let us know too much, too soon. It doesn't want to spoil us either.
Today, I will strive to let go of those wants & needs that are causing me frustration. I will enter them on my goal list. I will take right action to work toward them, then I will struggle to let go. I will trust my higher power/divine within myself/guide etc to bring me the desires of my heart in his/her time & in his/her way. I will trust that something is always happening, and often, it is much different and better than I think.

This is a great topic & I hope you get some interesting replies.
Claudette x

RE: 'desire and attachment are the cause of suffering'

Hello, I think everyone out there who studies this path can relate to how hard it is to let go of desires and attachment, it's something that were all working on and I am far from succeeding in this myself (being emotionally attached my my fiancee)

Most things in buddhism come down to helping you achieve this goal
as your asking from the buddhist perspective, I'll reitterate the 4 noble truths in simple terms

1) there is suffering
2) attachment is the cause of suffering
3) there is a way to escape from suffering
4) a way to escape is the wholy eithfold path

ok the 8th fold path is not the clearest, but I recommend looking at them when you have a little spare time, I have loads of web links if you want some

Here are some tools that could help

1) try to discourage the "I am the centre of my universe" ego we all have my deciding to feel compassion for others and not cause suffering for others (harder during an argument I know)
2) contemplate that everything around is imperminant. Try reminding youself that you wouldn't get to attached to a pretty passing cloud because it's passing - then try and apply this to your own life. Also when something breaks, try and use this to remind yourself of impreminance
3) practice mindfullness meditation (let me know if you want info on this)
4) try to bring mindfullness into small elements of your life - for a minute or two at first here and there are first then build up (let me know if you want more info on this)
5) try and avoid drugs and/or alcohol as it clouds your mind

And from a non-buddhist perspective

if you feel yourself loosing control in an argument and about to lash out to verbally hurt someone - try and disingage until you have been able to calm down and regain control

Hope this helps!

RE: 'desire and attachment are the cause of suffering'

Thanks for your replies peeps.

Bodi - I would very much like some more info on the areas you highlighted so I can get some clarity.

If you don't mind sending the links I would really appreciate it.

Thanks

Desiderata [sm=1syellow1.gif]

RE: 'desire and attachment are the cause of suffering'

ORIGINAL: Desiderata

I am suffering at the hands of both these imposters. I have been reading up on Buddhism but am struggling to understand how to relinquish desire and attachment...Does anyone have any advice?
ThanksDesiderata[sm=banghead.gif]

Well the first thing to do is find out what your desires and attachments are then just surrender, let go and allow yourself to be liberated from what is holding you back. Desire and attachment tends to be to physical form, e.g. people, things and objects - the material world.

The eightfold path is more about right living, right thinking and right doing. 😉

If you can give us some examples of your desires and attachments then I might be able to help you more.

That is the problem with most religious philosophy great spiritual concepts but lacking in techniques for integration. 😉 The first step for you would be to stop trying to knock down brick walls because that hurts! Allowing and accepting, living each moment as perfect is very good for starters. Another good exercise to let go of the mental chatter about doing desires is to empty the mind. Try not to think about anything that happened five minutes ago and nothing five minutes ahead. It is amazing how quickly ones mind empties of all thought of desire.

In my experience desire and attachment usually comes from unmet needs in childhood and it is this energy that stops us moving our energy into our heart centre. So some serious self development work would be the next stage.

A few simple examples not from Buddhism I hasten to add.

"Root chakra I WANT TO BE SAFE - Desire and attachment (0ften financial, material) based on need
Sacrel Chakra I WANT TO BE HAPPY - Desire and attachment to happiness outside of oneself due to unmet needs. Heal the needs/desires and you become liberated.
Solar Plexus I AM POWER - Desire for success, being in control, recognition, validation outside of self."

Once you have sorted the above out then you make a quantum leap in consciousness into the heart.

So the title of this post shows us that there is a sacrel and solar plexus blockage. Hitting our heads on brick walls is trying to force a door to open instead of allowing it to open for you. If something does not fall into place when you give from the heart then just let go, allow, accept and BE. When the time is right you will indeed be shown the appropriate door to walk through.

"To have no desire, is true liberation." from Sacred Words

It should also be made clear that when Buddhists speak of desire they actually mean craving which is extreme desire. However, one can be liberated from all desires and attachment to desire itself.

Love beyond measure

Kim xx

RE: 'desire and attachment are the cause of suffering'

PS from an an esoteric viewpoint the reason why it is important to surrender human desire and attachment is because it then becomes much eaiser to hear the divine purpose of the soul and be guided by your GOD self and all that is divine. If we have attachments or are attached to outcomes then our soul cannot guide us for our highest good. To ensure we arrive at the right place at the right time, if we miss the links and the other pieces of the jigsaw, it can take a long time for a similar opportunity to come around again and if hard headed sometimes even a different lifetime.

Some people have spiritual aspirations yet they are not always compatible with the soul journey chosen pre-incarnation hence why people can get stuck. The universe is saying no way you are in a cul de sac!

Love beyond measure

Kim xx

RE: 'desire and attachment are the cause of suffering'

Interesting thread. Something close to my heart at the moment. Bloody difficult to stop the ego doing the talking and decisionmaking. Also difficult to remove desire and attachment when we're taught all our lives to get top grades at exams, buy a big house, buy a nice car, go on luxury holidays, and all your friends are achieving such things...

and the second you think "i am better than that person because he needs that S class Merc"... yep that's your ego kicking into action again! [8D]

RE: 'desire and attachment are the cause of suffering'

ORIGINAL: DarrenFollowsThePath

Also difficult to remove desire and attachment when we're taught all our lives to get top grades at exams, buy a big house, buy a nice car, go on luxury holidays, and all your friends are achieving such things...

Ah but that is the tapes and software programmes put into human consciousness that begins in childhood not much to do with the EGO and the divine shrine of the divine. It is the sacral chakra I WANT TO BE HAPPY and looking for happiness and self validation outside of the self. True happiness can only be found within.

and the second you think "i am better than that person because he needs that S class Merc"... yep that's your ego kicking into action again! [8D]

Is that not a lack of self esteem for when one's self esteem is where it needs to be one does not compare oneself with others at all. When one is detached one is not interested in others possessions, abilities or accomplisments as one is living one's true divine purpose and flying divine!

I love the Sufi quote 'I was looking for the self and I found GOD and when I found GOD I found the self'.

Love beyond measure

Kim xx

RE: 'desire and attachment are the cause of suffering'

Yes, I agree. 🙂

RE: 'desire and attachment are the cause of suffering'

PS ditto 😉 DarrenFollowsThePath

Like the design of the website looks very good. However, I did not find the article that you mentioned.

Love beyond measure

Kim xx

RE: 'desire and attachment are the cause of suffering'

Here's one for you

"Be willing to surrender the control of desire and in the willingness to surrender one reaches the heart of GOD."

So desire really as a root in control and the root of control is usually unmet needs of the child within.

Love beyond measure

Kim xx

RE: 'desire and attachment are the cause of suffering'

Desiderata,

From what is it that you are trying to disengage?

I can understand wanting to relinquish material desires, but not wanting to give up the love one has for family and friends, or for the desire to help others.

Love,
Patsy.
xxxxxx

RE: 'desire and attachment are the cause of suffering'

ORIGINAL: songstress

"the desire to help others|

Good to do a reality check on pure intent because sometimes the desire to help others can come from a need to be needed which is often the case in the caring professions. Desire can also come from the soul but this can be purified.

One can love one's family unconditionally. However, one can be detached from the family, when one is not in attachment to the family or the love of the family. Hence why Jesus taught that if you cannot leave your family you cannot follow me, what he was really saying was you cannot acheive my state of being e.g. evolvement. Jesus taught 'spiritual independence' through detachment of everything and everyone in the physical realm and so did Buddha.

being love

Kim xx