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Jim

American Woman · 2008-01-09T19:19:53Z

Hello everyone, I am again compelled to write. First let me start out with a for you, the person who is reading this. Thank you. What a gift you give. I am a writer by nature, please bear with me as I try to explain what is going on. My brother is in crisis. He was 58 yesterday, but I'm afraid he's not going to make it to 59. His name is Jim. He is an alcoholic with hepatitis C, and recently diagnosed prostate cancer. He's been through treatment for his addictions probably 4 times, from Hazelden to St. Mary's and other places I don't know or remember. The rehab didn't take. He's had treatment for his hepatitis too, it blinded him in one eye and it failed as he didn't quit drinking. Jim has had the first part of his treatment for the prostate cancer, and because of the agony it caused, doesn't want to go back for part two, he said he'd rather "let nature take its course". Personally I think the drinking and/or hepatitis C will kill him before the cancer will. Any day after 3:00 p.m. you can find him drinking beer after beer and chain smoking in front of the television. After a while the pain his liver constantly gives him eases and he'll become animated and cheery. Not long after that, if he's in conversation, he'll engage in passionate, angry swearing about cruel slights, people's failings, political or racial things; then will come the tokes from his marijuana, the nodding off - or if the fear of death has reached him - the tearful remorse. He's sorry for being so foul to his sweet wife, Jin, who has recently come from China to wed her "Lovey" (I performed their ceremony 3 years ago in May). He's sad about neglecting and leaving his dog, Casey. He realizes he is killing himself, he knows his body is a testimony to its desperate fight to hold on to life and its strength (a lesser man would surely be dead by now). Jim also knows Jesus and is sorry for failing him. We called Jim last night to sing a very poor rendition of "happy birthday", I was accompanied by my husband, David (who is hilariously vocally challenged). After the cursory murmurings of what we have been up to, and reporting on the mundane aspects of David's and my life (I'm unemployed again, I got that nasty cold that's been going around, David's folks, golf games and so on...), after all of that, I told him what is in my heart - all of our hearts. Jin had sent pictures from their lunch that day, Jim looks horrific, he looks like he is dying. I told my brother that it terrified me to see him in those pictures and how scared I was for him. Also I said I believe that it isn't too late for him. He needs to go into a treatment center, he's repeatedly tried on his own and just cannot do it alone. Jim needs structure and constant support to succeed. I told him I would do anything in my power to help him. I'll take in his wife, his dog, anything I can. I asked him to call me today, before he starts drinking so we could figure out what and how to do what needs to be done. He said he wouldn't remember to call. I left him with a prayer I prayed out loud for him. My prayers were that Jim would remember our conversation (which is always questionable because of drinking) and that he would act on it. I prayed that he would have a desire in his heart to follow through, and for strength, guidance, healing etcetera. I told him I believed for him - through Jesus. So now I need to reach out for more support for Jim and I felt I should share this need with you. It breaks my heart to watch this happening, but more than that even I feel such pity for Jim who is trapped in his cycle of fear, guilt, and self-hatred. Knowing the consequences of his actions, yet immobilized by them (or more precisely by the side affects of the poisons he's ingesting), Jim is simply waiting to die and trying to stay drunk enough so he can bear it. As you are led, please send prayers, healing, etc. Thank you. Blessings, Love, and Light! Jennifer

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Healing & Prayers

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Cirrus

Jan 10, 2008 5:18 pm

(@cirrus)

Noble Member

Joined: 19 years ago

That is great news Jennifer.

All the very best for all of your journeys.

I will keep you and your brother in my thoughts and continue sending love and light.

Love Rachel xXx

Posts: 6138

Reikiangel

Jan 10, 2008 6:22 pm

(@reikiangel)

Illustrious Member

Joined: 23 years ago

Hi Jen,

I saw your post 2am this morning but wasn't logged in to respond. I added my prayers and sent Reiki to you and your brother's situation as I am sure many did who did not post. As you have so rightly said the intention of helping another person is such a strong and powerful energy and it never fails to amaze me at how it works!
I'm so glad your brother rang you and with positive intentions, it can only be a good thing for him. I will keep him in my thoughts and send Reiki for as long as is needed and a big hug for you too my friend.

Love and light

reikiangel

xxx

Posts: 3221

*serendipity*

Jan 10, 2008 7:15 pm

(@serendipity)

Famed Member

Joined: 19 years ago

Hi Jennifer, you sound to me like such a kind caring person, you are ready to put your life on hold for your brother. He is such a lucky man to have you in his life. I hope things turn out positive for you and Jim and his family. I will PM you. x

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Marie Antoinette

Jan 10, 2008 9:19 pm

(@marie-antoinette)

Reputable Member

Joined: 20 years ago

I'm so pleased to hear Jim is reaching out for help, I pray he continues to grab the power back with both hands.

Sending my love & prayers across the miles.
MA xxx

Posts: 205

Always Trying

Jan 10, 2008 10:16 pm

(@always-trying)

Reputable Member

Joined: 19 years ago

Hi Jen,
was so happy to read that Jim has taken the first brave steps towards helping himself. He is lucky to have such a caring, kind hearted sister who has never and will never give up on him.

Everyone on HP will be willing him to succeed. Sending you all love and strength

Always Trying
x

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