Hello everyone, I am again compelled to write. First let me start out with a for you, the person who is reading this. Thank you. What a gift you give.
I am a writer by nature, please bear with me as I try to explain what is going on. My brother is in crisis. He was 58 yesterday, but I'm afraid he's not going to make it to 59. His name is Jim. He is an alcoholic with hepatitis C, and recently diagnosed prostate cancer. He's been through treatment for his addictions probably 4 times, from Hazelden to St. Mary's and other places I don't know or remember. The rehab didn't take. He's had treatment for his hepatitis too, it blinded him in one eye and it failed as he didn't quit drinking. Jim has had the first part of his treatment for the prostate cancer, and because of the agony it caused, doesn't want to go back for part two, he said he'd rather "let nature take its course". Personally I think the drinking and/or hepatitis C will kill him before the cancer will.
Any day after 3:00 p.m. you can find him drinking beer after beer and chain smoking in front of the television. After a while the pain his liver constantly gives him eases and he'll become animated and cheery. Not long after that, if he's in conversation, he'll engage in passionate, angry swearing about cruel slights, people's failings, political or racial things; then will come the tokes from his marijuana, the nodding off - or if the fear of death has reached him - the tearful remorse. He's sorry for being so foul to his sweet wife, Jin, who has recently come from China to wed her "Lovey" (I performed their ceremony 3 years ago in May). He's sad about neglecting and leaving his dog, Casey. He realizes he is killing himself, he knows his body is a testimony to its desperate fight to hold on to life and its strength (a lesser man would surely be dead by now). Jim also knows Jesus and is sorry for failing him.
We called Jim last night to sing a very poor rendition of "happy birthday", I was accompanied by my husband, David (who is hilariously vocally challenged). After the cursory murmurings of what we have been up to, and reporting on the mundane aspects of David's and my life (I'm unemployed again, I got that nasty cold that's been going around, David's folks, golf games and so on...), after all of that, I told him what is in my heart - all of our hearts. Jin had sent pictures from their lunch that day, Jim looks horrific, he looks like he is dying.
I told my brother that it terrified me to see him in those pictures and how scared I was for him. Also I said I believe that it isn't too late for him. He needs to go into a treatment center, he's repeatedly tried on his own and just cannot do it alone. Jim needs structure and constant support to succeed. I told him I would do anything in my power to help him. I'll take in his wife, his dog, anything I can. I asked him to call me today, before he starts drinking so we could figure out what and how to do what needs to be done. He said he wouldn't remember to call.
I left him with a prayer I prayed out loud for him. My prayers were that Jim would remember our conversation (which is always questionable because of drinking) and that he would act on it. I prayed that he would have a desire in his heart to follow through, and for strength, guidance, healing etcetera. I told him I believed for him - through Jesus.
So now I need to reach out for more support for Jim and I felt I should share this need with you. It breaks my heart to watch this happening, but more than that even I feel such pity for Jim who is trapped in his cycle of fear, guilt, and self-hatred. Knowing the consequences of his actions, yet immobilized by them (or more precisely by the side affects of the poisons he's ingesting), Jim is simply waiting to die and trying to stay drunk enough so he can bear it.
As you are led, please send prayers, healing, etc. Thank you.
Blessings, Love, and Light!
Jennifer
Alcoholism+cancer[+hepatite] is probably too much for a
one human.
One hint on the occation: I've recently deepened my knowledge of
Su-Jok = a vast development of classic acupuncture and
among clinical studies/reports there's been those of succesful
treatments of cancer in terminal stage, addictions, and many more.
Interestingly there's a powerful [in skilled hands] method of
attaching plant seeds onto reflex points to utilize energy seeds
have for their growth.
Dear Jen,
What a hard time for you and your family. I send a huge irridescent blue angel ball of healing, comfort and support to both Jim and your whole family.
Love and Light
Sandra
Hi Jen, sounds really tough for you all.
I too believe that prayer really does make a difference and when we nearly lost my sister I had a vision of the angels who were all stroking her hair and arms, as they were just being with her taking care of her in another place whilst her body was being operated on here. I could even see them laughing and just surrounding her with so much love, peace and healing. Lots of people prayed for her and so I add my prayers to the others here, for you, for your brother, for your husband and Jin.
Take care Jen, love brown1e x
At the risk of sounding too emotional, "I LOVE YOU ALL"! I've been so busy (see my other thread), not coming to check or chat - and here are beautiful, heartfelt messages, still coming. I could cry, but I am smiling in my heart too. Thank you.
🙁 I just hung up the phone after talking to Jim. He has lost his motivation for quitting drinking - I asked him bluntly if he was going into treatment. He said "I think it is just a waste of time to be honest with you." He wasn't very communicative, you see I called when he isn't drinking.
His cancer treatment was hard on him, he is still feeling the effects of the radiation. He won't know anything until September, when they will recheck him.
That's all I know - I hope you are all doing well. xxxooo J
Ohhh Jen. BIG BIG HUGS to you. I will send healing , loving, and supportive energies to you, your Brother Jim, your husband, and Jin. You are really going thorough it right now. You are all in my prayers angel.
Leaving my love with you all
Blessings
Hayley xxx