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Jim

American Woman · 2008-01-09T19:19:53Z

Hello everyone, I am again compelled to write. First let me start out with a for you, the person who is reading this. Thank you. What a gift you give. I am a writer by nature, please bear with me as I try to explain what is going on. My brother is in crisis. He was 58 yesterday, but I'm afraid he's not going to make it to 59. His name is Jim. He is an alcoholic with hepatitis C, and recently diagnosed prostate cancer. He's been through treatment for his addictions probably 4 times, from Hazelden to St. Mary's and other places I don't know or remember. The rehab didn't take. He's had treatment for his hepatitis too, it blinded him in one eye and it failed as he didn't quit drinking. Jim has had the first part of his treatment for the prostate cancer, and because of the agony it caused, doesn't want to go back for part two, he said he'd rather "let nature take its course". Personally I think the drinking and/or hepatitis C will kill him before the cancer will. Any day after 3:00 p.m. you can find him drinking beer after beer and chain smoking in front of the television. After a while the pain his liver constantly gives him eases and he'll become animated and cheery. Not long after that, if he's in conversation, he'll engage in passionate, angry swearing about cruel slights, people's failings, political or racial things; then will come the tokes from his marijuana, the nodding off - or if the fear of death has reached him - the tearful remorse. He's sorry for being so foul to his sweet wife, Jin, who has recently come from China to wed her "Lovey" (I performed their ceremony 3 years ago in May). He's sad about neglecting and leaving his dog, Casey. He realizes he is killing himself, he knows his body is a testimony to its desperate fight to hold on to life and its strength (a lesser man would surely be dead by now). Jim also knows Jesus and is sorry for failing him. We called Jim last night to sing a very poor rendition of "happy birthday", I was accompanied by my husband, David (who is hilariously vocally challenged). After the cursory murmurings of what we have been up to, and reporting on the mundane aspects of David's and my life (I'm unemployed again, I got that nasty cold that's been going around, David's folks, golf games and so on...), after all of that, I told him what is in my heart - all of our hearts. Jin had sent pictures from their lunch that day, Jim looks horrific, he looks like he is dying. I told my brother that it terrified me to see him in those pictures and how scared I was for him. Also I said I believe that it isn't too late for him. He needs to go into a treatment center, he's repeatedly tried on his own and just cannot do it alone. Jim needs structure and constant support to succeed. I told him I would do anything in my power to help him. I'll take in his wife, his dog, anything I can. I asked him to call me today, before he starts drinking so we could figure out what and how to do what needs to be done. He said he wouldn't remember to call. I left him with a prayer I prayed out loud for him. My prayers were that Jim would remember our conversation (which is always questionable because of drinking) and that he would act on it. I prayed that he would have a desire in his heart to follow through, and for strength, guidance, healing etcetera. I told him I believed for him - through Jesus. So now I need to reach out for more support for Jim and I felt I should share this need with you. It breaks my heart to watch this happening, but more than that even I feel such pity for Jim who is trapped in his cycle of fear, guilt, and self-hatred. Knowing the consequences of his actions, yet immobilized by them (or more precisely by the side affects of the poisons he's ingesting), Jim is simply waiting to die and trying to stay drunk enough so he can bear it. As you are led, please send prayers, healing, etc. Thank you. Blessings, Love, and Light! Jennifer

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Healing & Prayers

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Posts: 1410

American Woman

Topic starter

Jan 30, 2008 9:24 pm

(@american-woman)

Noble Member

Joined: 21 years ago

UPDATE:
Jim started his radiation and that's all I really know for now. I've been having a 3-day long garage sale and then cleaning and rearranging closets. I am afraid I haven't been calling him in the last 5 days because of being so busy but took a minute today to give a shout out to him.

Thanks again every one, love Jennifer

Posts: 6138

Reikiangel

Jan 31, 2008 12:37 am

(@reikiangel)

Illustrious Member

Joined: 23 years ago

Hi Jen,

Thanks for the up-date on Jim. Continuing to send him lots of love and Reiki energy to his situation. I'm sure he knows you are thinking of him even though you have been busy!

Take care

Love and light

reikiangel

xxx

Posts: 1410

American Woman

Topic starter

Mar 11, 2008 2:50 pm

(@american-woman)

Noble Member

Joined: 21 years ago

UPDATE:
I don't like to post the same things over and over as Jim's radiation treatment is a couple of months long there isn't anything really new to report yet. The effects of the radiation are not pleasant - it is affecting his GI in general - he feels awful. With 3 more weeks to go, then a projected month and a half of healing from this treatment, it won't be a very nice spring for him. Then I pray he goes in for his alcohol treatment.

Thanks everyone - J

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Energylz

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Mar 12, 2008 9:33 am

(@energylz)

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Joined: 23 years ago

Thinking of you both.

Love and Reiki Hugs

Posts: 6138

Reikiangel

Mar 12, 2008 10:35 am

(@reikiangel)

Illustrious Member

Joined: 23 years ago

Thanks for the update Jen.

I continue to hold Jim in my thoughts and send him lots of love and Reiki energy to help him through this trying time. I think it is great that he is sticking this out, as painful as it is for him. That's a very positive sign that he has the willpower now to put his life back on track. I'm sure having such a loving and supportive sister has helped a great deal.

Big Reiki hug for you

Love and light

reikangel

xxx

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