RE: Help sorting please
Hello Bom,
I can't add anymore on the back of what Energyat work has so wisely said, there does appear to be a great deal of confusion as to who is the adult and who is the child in your relationship with your Father.
You are not responsible for him, and while it's ok to love him and forgive him past hurts it is not accetable for him to still be having such a negative impact on your life that you are actually becoming quite ill.
I can empathise as I am in a similar-ish situation with my Mother, I don't know if you like to read but one book that will help and make me see more clearly is Homecoming by John Bradshaw.
It will get better sweetheart you just have to remind yourself that you are worth more than you are getting and although you love your Dad he and his alcoholism is not your problem.
Let us all know how you get on?
Love and Light
Rebecca xxxx