I've noticed I sometimes ruminate on certain life events and they can sometimes make me upset.
Examples such as bullying, being shouted at or people being narky in my face.
I have days where I think about these events - frustrated, angry feelings rise up to the surface where I feel like I want to fight the person back who gave me the initial grievance or at least tell them how they made me feel. At the time they made me feel like a doormat.
After these angry feelings have subsided which I personally find very unpleasant I obviously feel quite powerless and like a victim. Is this kind of resentment normal and something that other people also experience ??
I wonder if I take things too personally and that most people wouldn't be hurt by this sort of stuff. But I've definitely been on the receiving end of quite a few people's anger over the years.
When I say something back I have noticed that I do tend to hurt people and then they cry like babies. But it's always alright what other people do - they don't like it when you give it back to them though.
'Part and parcel of relationships on wonderful earth 😀 ???'
Yes, it is a common way to react. However, (and however much it doesn't seem like it) you are in charge of how you react. You can make the choice not to let such things affect you. After all, when someone shouts at you, it is about their response to something else (which may or may not have anything to do with you). You can choose to be upset, angry or to ignore it.
Dare I suggest that a soul retrieval might make such choices easier?
Crowan has it right ....although I leave issues of soul retreival to her 🙂 You can chose how to react and there are techniques you ca use to help you change your reactions. Rumination is rarely a good thing to do
Thanks guys 🙂 I have noticed that I have been getting better as I've got older in how I react to stuff.
I've also spent a large part of my life not speaking up and answering people back when they've done something to me which has caused resentment e.g people lashing out their anger when I feel I haven't done anything to deserve it.
I do realise though that people get stressed and angry.
Crowan - are you female ? I just assumed you were male hahaha don't know why !!
Thanks guys 🙂 I have noticed that I have been getting better as I've got older in how I react to stuff.
I've also spent a large part of my life not speaking up and answering people back when they've done something to me which has caused resentment e.g people lashing out their anger when I feel I haven't done anything to deserve it.
I do realise though that people get stressed and angry.
Crowan - are you female ? I just assumed you were male hahaha don't know why !!
That's quite an assumption.
Sorry hahaha no offence xx
It's your choice how you react to things. But it's also a really hard to make choice. Because we are who we are and people tend to react in some ways to some situations. And mere sense isn't going to change that. If you really want to change your state of mind you better get some help.
It's your choice how you react to things. But it's also a really hard to make choice. Because we are who we are and people tend to react in some ways to some situations. And mere sense isn't going to change that. If you really want to change your state of mind you better get some help.
I would be inclined to agree.
I think I've improved a lot over the years. Stroppy or aggressive people don't effect me so much these days.
Thanks guys
It's your choice how you react to things. But it's also a really hard to make choice. Because we are who we are and people tend to react in some ways to some situations. And mere sense isn't going to change that. If you really want to change your state of mind you better get some help.
Many reactions are habitual.....and habits are learned responses. What is needed is to learn different better responses. It isn't just a case of willpower tho and I agree help is needed. But there are many self help books out there. Thats what I did and it made a HUGE difference.
I've studied quite a few self help books over the years and I think they are great. They all have a little bit to add.
I've noticed that my mum can be quite sensitive and defensive, I noticed some of that in me but I've calmed down as I've become older.
I've realised we don't really have any real control over anyone down here or what anyone thinks or says.
I also think I have a slight bit of ego in me where I think 'how dare anyone say that to me' or 'be nasty to me'.
And with regards to nasty people, in the words of my psychologist - 'there's a lot of them about' lol
Thanks for all the replies guys. This has really helped me on an issue I feel so strongly about.
🙂
I've realised we don't really have any real control over anyone down here or what anyone thinks or says.
And that is probably the most important thing to remember., You cannot make anyone else happy or sad, you cannot chose how anyone else reacts. Obviously you need to act towards others in a caring and sensitive way, but in the end only they can decide how they going to think and react to what you say and do.
Nor can you decree their understanding. It is very possible to act in what you consider to be a 'caring and sensitive' way, and for that action to be seen as irritating, selfish, interfering or any of a number of other reactions.
Yeah things get mis-interpreted all the time