Hi,
I've been signed off from work, with depression since Christmas and wondered if you guys could give me any advice.
For the last 7 years up until mid December, I was caring for a disabled relative (they have since re-located).
It was an extremely stressful time for me and I had to put me life on hold really. Somehow I managed to fit in part-time College courses, do some volunteer work and see the odd client, all whilst being a single parent. A social life though, wasn't an option neither was meeting a partner.
After carrying this for so long, i find myself feeling exhausted, isolated and have found my confidence has taken a nose dive.
I have seen my GP and am on a waiting list for MBCT ( it maybe the autumn or next year before i start this).
I don't mind my own company, i like to meditate and go for walks, but sometimes I don't see anyone to talk to for days. I've looked into joining evening classes to make new friends, but there is nothing in my area, and public transport here is too limited for me to travel anywhere in the evening. I don't have a car and cannot afford taxi fares.
I am starting to climb the walls and this really is not helping how I feel.
Any suggestions greatly apprieciated.
TC x
Tranquilcherub I so feel for you.
You say the relative has been re-located. It is possible you are grieving for the loss this has created in your life. When caring has been such a major part of your life, I can believe you are having problems adjusting to a life where you are NOT a carer.
You self image is having to go through major re-adjustment and while this is happening in a way you literally do not know who you are. Your self image is of a 'carer' and suddenly you have no-obe to care for....except yourself. But after years of putting yourself last that probably all feels wrong.
I don't know what MBCT is but I presume the CT is cognitive therapy. While you are waiting my I suggest a life coach may be able to help you?
I do hope you can find the help the need.
Thank you Tashanie for your reply.
I don't think I'm grieving for the loss.
It's good that the caring role came to an end (although it did leave a bit of a wake initially).
The relative has now become more independent and more responsible for their condition and I am a lot less stressed (although i do still worry about them). I still see them regularly, but not in a caring capacity and because of this i feel our relationship has changed, in a positive way.
I never really saw myself as just a 'carer', so I don't believe my self image is an issue.
I do believe i am having problems adjusting to not being a carer though.
It has been isolating, but in some ways i felt protected.
I have to build a life of my own now and the outside world feels like a bit of a scary place at the moment, without my confidence.
P.S. MBCT is mindfulness based cognitive therapy and thanks again.
TC x
Hello Tranquilcherub,
Have you thought of trying something creative, i.e. making or drawing or painting? It can be very therapeutic....
Thanks Mouse.
I currently have a tapestry and a cross-stitch pattern on the go.
TC x
Thanks Mouse.
I currently have a tapestry and a cross-stitch pattern on the go.
TC x
How about something like this?
[url]Mandala Art Activity | Healing & Discovery Through Mandalas[/url]
[quote=tranquilcherub;715170
I do believe i am having problems adjusting to not being a carer though.
It has been isolating, but in some ways i felt protected.
And that is probably the heart of your problem. If you know what you feel you need protection FROM, you can try to find another way to feel safe. The MBCT will I am sure help with that. Cognitive therapy is a big part of hypnotherapy and life coaching.
Hope you don't feel so alone now that you have been able to express your feelings on here 🙂
Mouse - I would have never thought of that. It appeals to my Buddhist side which is great, as that will help me with my motivation.
I have printed off a few from a free site and will make a trip out to the local craft shop in the next couple of days. Thank you 🙂
Tashanie - expressing myself has helped, thank you.
TC x
Hi TC
While you are at te craft shop why not ask if there are any craft groups around? It is really fun to do creative work in groups and is a great way to make friends.
Isolation can be quite demoralising, so taking whatever opportunity available to get out and meet people is great.
Wishing you all the best
Deleted! Double post -
Having problems with my internet connection, again!
Hi
I haven't found a craft group yet, but I have found a self confidence/relaxation group.
Thanks for you help guys.
TC x