hello all
im sending this message initially to ask for advice, secondly to hopefully message people with similar feelings.
some 12 months ago i joined this room and asked for advice which i acted upon, basically ive had bouts of depression for three years, and while im aware that i do not suffer anywhere near as seriously as others,
my problems began 6 years ago when my wife developed schizophrenia
and basically blamed me for it, i know this is common, however i was left to bring up five children ans sufferred the wrath of my ex wifes paranoia, we contended with four years of unrelentless unbelievable events.
last year i was advised to try rieki, although very sceptical i did this,
and found that it helped with the intense anger i was then feeling, some months after i felt terrible, went to see my gp who gave me medication, cypramil, i then went to feel worse, went back to gp, he gave my prozac.
after about a month, i felt even worse, i weaned myself of that, deciding that medication was not for me, then felt better, about two months ago
i started to feel a bit down again, lethargic, not wanting to go to work etc,
so ive just completed 6 weeks of hypnotherapy, this has without doubt addressed the causes of my depression, anger, feelings of betrayal etc,
but i still feel lethargic, headaches, no get up and go, and basically not wanting to do anything, which is causing financial problems and so stress
and circles within circles, i have bought a book, depression for dummies
and read every evening and do try to adhere to advice given in that book
but still i have these headaches when feeling stressed, and just no energy.
please, is there anyone out there that can help, any advice would be greatly appreciated.
thankyou all
john
RE: depression
Hello John
Right now I'm not able to offer any concrete suggestions but I did just want to say that I'm happy to 'see' you back but sorry you're not in a good space right now. I'm sure lots of people will come up with good ideas for you - I just wanted to offer my support and best wishes. I'm sure you've done the right thing by coming off the chemicals. There's loads of other stuff you can try - St Johns Wort just popped into my head, for example. And lots of good stuff to read too. Sometimes though you just have to live through it and things get better at the right time. Hang on in there.
Best of luck.
Love
Sunanda x
RE: depression
Hi John
Sorry to hear that you have been through such a rough time but it looks as though you have lots of insight with regards to your recovery and healing. Having tried Reiki and finding it helped, were you unable to continue with treatments? I feel it would be beneficial to have some form of relaxing and/or healing treatment while you are going through such a stressful time.
I can understand how very difficult it is coping with your wife's paranoia and everything that goes with her illness. My ex-husband developed mental health problems and became paranoid and aggressive. Because he became threatening I had to leave with the children. He gradually became worse and had schizophrenic symptoms - hallucinations, illusions, lost his grip on reality almost completely. Because he had refused to accept he had a problem he was only brought to the attention of the mental health services when he took an overdose. It was an awful time, so I know how distressing it has been for you.
I was wondering whether you are still with your wife and having to cope with her illness or whether you aren't with her but still have contact and have to cope with her illness or don't see her at all. Whichever it is, it is affecting you and it would be good if you were able to find a treatment you could have regularly to help you to relax. When I was in the thick of it and for some time afterwards, I was suffering from depression. I had reflexology treatments every fortnight and it helped me to cope, it seemed to break the stress cycle that I couldn't get out of. Good luck.
Sandra
x
RE: depression
Hi John
Just wanted to offer my support and warm wishes. I too have suffered depression, although mine has been periodic for more than 12 years. I can't offer much help apart from to make sure you look after yourself by eating well and drinking plenty of water. The only person who can bring you out of it is you and with time, ou will get there. Acknowledge that there will be bad days but be kind on yourself.
Try to give yourself time to do things that you used to enjoy to try and get that life spark back. And in the meantime, just remember there is always someone here to offer support.
Much luck
Sally x
RE: depression
Hi John,
I am sorry to hear you are feeling so low. May I make a suggestion?
Instead of looking at ways to 'beat' this depression and ways to 'get out of it' why don't you stay with it? We are taught from being very young that any form of sadness is a scary place to be, along with that we were raised to be mistrustful and wary of anything even resembeling mental angst, you would be seen as 'weak' or worse 'loony'.
I am a student of the Rogerian approach to counselling which is called person centred, it enables us to empower our clients in the hope that they will heal themselves, we believe the client is the expert on the client it is they who knows what's hurting and deep down why, not us.
It is when we are sad ( a less scary term for depression) that we learn the most it forces us into a place where we have to think and think and think somemore. The headaches and other symptoms you describe could easily be signs that you are on the right track we sometimes get physical ailments when conscieneness in raised around our issues the Reiki and hypnotherapy would have begun to 'dislodge' those issues.
I know when you have to work for a living and/or you have other responsibilities such as a Wife and children it is a lot easier said than done to stay in the moment like I have suggested but it might be easier to stay with what your feeling if you learn to tell yourself it's not scary, it's not something that has to be bannished and quickly, on the road to healing and self development there is no quick fix. Like someone has said drink plenty of water, rest if you need it, and cry if you want to it's cathartic.
I hope this helps, please feel free to e-mail me privatley if you want to 'talk'.
Take care.
Peace and Light
Rebecca xxxxxxxx
RE: depression
John, I do feel you may still be processing what you have been through and should give yourself a emotional and mental break. Six weeks of hypnotherapy will still be working through your system and although you have addressed the causes, there is still work to be done to clear it all out and let it go.
Believe me, as someone who has worked with depression for many years, it takes as long as it takes and cannot be rushed, even if you feel you have the answers. Put the books aside, breathe, try to relax... and go for some more healing.
In short, treat yourself gently, cleanse and heal. You don't need to analyse right now, you need to let go. I have an image here of you opening your arms and falling back into a soft, cushioning bed... to rest and recuperate. Sometimes the best way to get through a tough time is to admit you don't know how... and then the support arrives...
Take care of yourself and your needs.
Blessings
Lorraine
RE: depression
Sending you love and strength,
I know there will be people here to offer you advice and support, and that includes me.
Love
Ithar:)
RE: depression
((((John))))
Firstly may I say that my thoughts & prayers are with you!
I have to agree with moonfeather
I do feel you may still be processing what you have been through and should give yourself a emotional and mental break. Six weeks of hypnotherapy will still be working through your system and although you have addressed the causes, there is still work to be done to clear it all out and let it go.
Good old fashioned routine with three square meals a bath and bed at a reasonable hour will do you the world of good.
Each night of sleep will help to settle the amount of energy you have shifted with the hypnotherapy.
The book you have mentioned is no doubt full of suggestions, but I would say the functioning daily and taking one day at a time has got to be a good basis to work with.
PLEASE don't forget to congratulate yourself on how far you have come and remember this is a journey that may at times feel familiar and therefore may feel as though you have been there before and therefore have to do again. But this is infact a one way trip to a very real and permanent healing.
Keep us in the loop as to how you are feeling and feel free to utilise my email for two way communication on msn etc.
Love & Light
XXXXXXXXX
RE: depression
Hi John,
Firstly I want to say to you 'well done' and I hope that you are able to feel proud of yourself for the way you have responded to the challenges in your life. Depression always brings with it some feelings of low self esteem, and I have found that remembering how much effort I have put into things can make me feel better about myself, which does then lift things a bit.
I echo Beckyboo as well, I agree so much with her post, that we are 'conned' into thinking that we must somehow battle with the monster, when really it is not a monster, just feelings that need to be allowed to surface, to be honoured.
When we tell a small child ' don't be angry, don't cry, don't be upset' it is no wonder that child grows up to think that any less than happy emotion is something to be ashamed of or frightened of, and certainly not honoured. And that child is most of us !
Have you ever tried meditation ? I would highly recommend that as a way of finding peace beneath the sadness, and with peace there often comes answers and solutions.
With love and thoughts,
Ru xx