Bereavement

Hello Sallyanne,

I'm so sorry to hear about your loss. I've found aromatherapy treatments to be of comfort in times like this. The combination of essential oils and massage are an effective combination. Very nurturing. Aromatherapists can be found on the IFA (International Federation of Aromatherapists) website... http://ifaroma.org/index.php?page=Find_an_Aromatherapist&ID=9
Hope it helps you.

Warmest wishes
Doreen

So sorry to hear your news Sallyanne :hug:

You say that you have enrolled to do counselling and psycotherapy courses, would it not be of benefit for you have bereavement counselling or have you already had that sort of treatment ?

Sending lots of love and healing

Cis

Hi Sally

Welcome to Healthy Pages. I am sure you will get lots of advice here - there are some very special people with so much to offer.

I am so sorry to hear of your very sad loss. It is always so difficult when it is a child - however old that child is. I am sending you Love, Light and Healing.

I would strongly advise EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) as a method of dealing with bereavement. Look at this link here (click on it) and have a look at the information and videos, so you can see what it is about. Then click [DLMURL="http://www.emofree.com/searchresult.htm?cx=018421620257423462741%3Anj2wowtiiqw&cof=FORID%3A9&ie=UTF-8&q=bereavement&siteurl=www.emofree.com%2F&submitbtn.x=36&submitbtn.y=13#894"]here[/DLMURL] and [DLMURL="http://www.emofree.com/searchresult.htm?cx=018421620257423462741%3Anj2wowtiiqw&cof=FORID%3A9&ie=UTF-8&q=grief+after+death&sa=Search#914"]here[/DLMURL] for more specific stories about how others have resolved their grief with EFT, and [DLMURL="http://www.emofree.com/downloadeftmanual.asp"]here[/DLMURL] for a free download of the basic manual. Have a read through and then I'd strongly suggest you find a therapist (I assume you are in UK?) from the list [DLMURL="http://www.aamet.org/eft-register-members.html"]here[/DLMURL] or on the original [DLMURL="http://www.emofree.com/Practitioners/referralMain.aspx"]website[/DLMURL] or here on HP in Directory.

Love and Light

Lots of Love

Hi Sally,
Sorry to hear your sad news, You said you lost your daughter in Jan, its still very early so the pain is still quite raw, so my advice is to give yourself some time to grieve, i lost my mum when i was very young but found myself talking to her at night, sounds crazy when i was only 8 years old, but the thought that i may be communicating with her really helped, obviously this may not be your type if thing, but just thought i would put my experiences to you. i would also look at the bach flower remedies, i think they have a tincture that helps with bereavement, you could try those, i havent myself but would not rule it out.

hope this helps

love Layla xx

Hi Sally,

I'm so, so sorry for your loss. I had aromatherapy when my dad and mum in law passed in the same week, nearly 2 years ago now. I found it took the edge off my grief but in all honesty the way your feeling will stay with you for a while hon, there is no easy way not to grieve as it's a natural process for everyone, they say a year to believe and a year to grieve and I found that to be quite true. I felt like I was in a dark tunnel for sometime, I just wanted to not feel like this anymore if you know what I mean, I didn't want to do anything, was quite happy just to be at home, thats grief for you and we're all different. It's so soon for you and still so raw and I can't imagine what it's like for you to have lost a daughter. Make sure you look after yourself and keep talking and do whatever feels right to you. You'll get lots of support here on HP. Sending you lots of love & hugs x x x x

So sorry to hear of your terrible loss Sally ann. Sending you Reiki hugs and keeping you inmy prayers.
e kind to yourself.
Linda x

hi sally ann and welcome to hp.
Am so sorry for your loss i cant beging to imagine the pain you must be feeling. I agree with all the adivse already said and think it is so admirable that you even at this terrible time you want to reach out and help others. I am sure you will be a great sucess when the time comes however i agree with laylajane and the others about allowing yourself to grieve first there are several stages to go through before we reach true acceptance,none are easy but neccessary in moving forward healthly. Be very kind to yourself, aromatherapy/reflexology all of them will be faboulus, as for eft a real and practical way to help youself with these difficult times. much love sally we are all with you on this
gentle hugs ((((0))))) reiki love

Hi Sally,
The loss of a child is one of the worst experiences a person can go through, and few people will even have an inkling how you are feeling.
The hurt and the sense of missing Zoe will never go away, every day you will miss her and that will never diminish. However your love for her is just as persistant and that bond will never be broken. You will learn to cope with all of this - give yourself all the time you need.
The sense of loss or often anger or bewilderment in these early days will at times feel overwhelming, but one day, somehow you will begin to see the legacy that Zoe left behind. She changed your life, and she changed many other's lives, and these changes will continue to change the future through those she knew and touched. There seems to be no reason behind her death but her life journey had a reason and this is still active.
Cherish the memories you have of her, speak to her when you feel like it, if you sense her presence around you say 'hello' she will hear you, and if you ask for a hug she will give you one. The relationship has changed but still exists and will continue to do so - thank her for her part in your journey, I'm sure she thanks you for your part in hers - the two are intertwined.

love
chris

Hello Sally,

Welcome to HP, I am so very sorry for you loss, words always fail me at times like this but like Caroline has said you will find lots of support here.
I have nothing to add, except to agree with Layla and others when they say it really is early days, you are a remarkable woman for wanting to reach out to others and my intuition is telling me you would make an excellent counsellor, maybe just not now, be kind to yourself, give yourself time and if for any reason you feel you still want to do something then choose something fun for now, not that I'm suggesting that studying counselling is not fun sometimes, I am a counsellor and can assure you it is, but it's also emotionally draining and depending on what level/who you are studying with lots of written work too.
God Bless you.

Love

Rebecca x

Hello Sally,
In your post you say that you have no enthusiasm to start your course, so it seems as if you know (instinctively) that you want to do it but you haven't (yet) reached the right time? This is completely understandable because our society puts so much emphasis on 'getting through' grief in as short a time as possible -and getting back to our 'normal' life again.
I can only speak from working with people who are grieving- and from my own personal experience.-In reality, grief is a longer 'process' than we could possibly imagine, and our old life does not come back but is replaced with a new, different one, coloured by our loss. With time, this new life becomes gradually more bearable. This is very painful for you but I do believe that grief won't be hurried! If you take one day at a time and only do what you feel ready to, I think you will be just fine. Your post expresses a great strength of character which you will be drawing on but I think that if you don't allow yourself to go through your grieving, there is less chance of a resolution.
You will receive many suggestions of therapies to help you so I will add my own of homeopathy, where you will be invited to express your feelings, from which the homeopath can determine a remedy to support you through this time. If you need more info, feel free to send me a pm.
HTH Hom

Hello. I’m coming into your thread rather late I’m afraid.
You’ve had some good replies here but I just wanted to share a few thoughts.

Your daughter was a unique and precious individual – why not try to think of some way in which you can honour her to keep her memory alive for other people? That would also have the benefit of giving you something important and healing to focus on.

My mother has some church friends who lost their son in a very public stabbing a couple of years ago. They have tried to make some meaning out of it all by having good come out of his life and have set up a trust in his name. The trust provides educational and vocational training opportunities to individuals who might not otherwise have access to them, in the hope that they too can achieve their potential and lead rewarding lives. Another goal is to help tackle the root causes of violent gang culture and violent street crime. One of the projects was providing an animal farm for disturbed children at the school that one of the killers went to.

I also found this article for you, written by a mother whose 21 year old daughter was killed in an accident. I hope you find some comforting ideas in it:

[url]I am still a mother[/url]

With a huge hug for you,

Judy

Hi Sally

I'm also coming to this thread rather late, and am so sorry for your loss.

Excerpts from a book called surviving the loss of a love is reproduced in the link below. It really is a wonderful book, and reading your description of your feelings, it may be of comfort?

I hope you get something from it if you take a look.[DLMURL] http://www.mcwilliams.com/books/sur/sr1.htm#surviving [/DLMURL]

Elodie x