hi all
im worried about my man.
he is very depressed all the time. he hates his job and works long hours with no financial or emotional reward, ie they are taking him for granted.
i have really tried to helphim, giving him support, saying if he wants to train in something different then i could support him, just quit and look for a job he wants etc etc, but all i get back from him is depression, he seems to swear an awful lot now, and moans all the time but never seems to do anything to help him out the situation. and when i get a little bit depressed over it (ie there is only so long you can keep the happy happy attitude up for) he has a go at me for being miserable.
this is suppost to be a really happy time, we have just moved into a new house, doing it up, and getting married in september.....but then again is this also adding to the stress?
i just dont know what else to do. i end up snapping at him, which makes him worse but i dont know how i can help him.?
he is also concerned that he is always cold all the time.ive told him to go and see the doctor but he says he has to wait to long!!! (even tho if he had taken the first appointment he would have been by now!)
its really bringing me down as well now, so i dont know what else to do..
help?
RE: depressed
I feel for you and your man.
I'm currently going through something similair myself. In fact I often go through phases where I'm really down. At the moment Ihate my job, bored to tears and and generally fed up. In fact last weekend I got so low i just wanted to get plastered.
The worst part is that i'm not 100% sure why. I think its because I don;t feel in control of my life at the moment. ie hate my job, me and my wife are trying for a baby - and so far it hasnlt happened etc etc.
But I pull myself out of it, and today i'm more positive.
The way I do this is by forcing myself to think positively and try to take back control. ie, I'm trying to start my own company (a lingerie website would you beleive!), I've applied for loads of new jobs, in fact I just found out I got an interview for a really good company.
In addition I do positive thinking techniques - although this doesn;t really work when I'm at my lowest, I have to wait till I'm on a bit of an upcurve. This may sound very ZEN and spiritual etc. But I find it does work. 'Changeyourlife in 7 days' by Paul McKenna really helps me sometimes or his new confidence book. It just helps to get myself positive again because I feel like I'm trying to take back control, plus I use the CDs to help calm me down when i get stressed!
And finally I think exercise is really important. I force myself to go the gym, and before I go its really difficult, but once I've started i enjoy it, and when i finish i feel great and confident. There are medical reasons why this is the case, soemthing to do with endorphins that get released or something. I may also help with your man being cold all the time - I'm the same when i've spent all day sat on my ar*e!
Anyway, sorry for rambling, hope this helps.
RE: depressed
thanks for your replies.
hahaha, yes i fully agree fredbasset, sitting on his backside all day isnt gonna help him is it. he really does wanna go to the gym, but he doesnt have time to go because of his job!!!! (not getting home until about 8 ish), and thats another thing why he is down.....
he had a interview yesterday....and hated the job, so thats made him more down...oh well, hoping that things will pick up soon i hope.
thanks again for your replies.
RE: depressed
You're welcome!
RE: depressed
Periwinkle
Depression is hard to live with, and it seems that men cannot deal with this as well as women. My exp for what its worth
St Johns wort (check with Dr)
exercise
rest (i.e. time not thinking of work)
get on a course of hypnotherapy which should also include a course of self hypnosis.
hypnotherapy has a number of positives including stress relief (please find someone who is a member of GHR) thinking outside of his box etc.
i hope you get this e-mail i would be grateful if you would just let me know that you have
take care