Forum
I'm planning to try anal sex with a bisexual friend of mine in a few days.
We will have condoms, room odouriser and water-based lube. My anus is very tight though and today in the bath i inserted two fingers in (gradually, using lube) and after a few (around 5?)cm I took my fingers out. My rectum/anus felt wierd (mildly painful) but I needed the loo for about 10 minutes after.
My questions are:
1. Is this pain normal?
2. How can I get rid of it?
3. Is room odouriser effective for people even if the anus is very(not extremely) tight?
4. Could room odouriser get rid of this pain?
5. How careful do you have to be in anal sex? I mean not from STDs but with tearing the rectum etc... How rough can you be & how far inside is ok?
Thanks very much. 4nal
RE: Bicurious and trying anal
Dear James,
If it is, even mildly, painful and you are wondering about so many things, why do you want to do it? How close do you feel to the other person? Is it purely physical, or is there something more? If there is something more, why would he want to hurt you? Why would you want to have pain?
With love and light,
Sue.
RE: Bicurious and trying anal
ORIGINAL: Sue de Nymme
Dear James,
If it is, even mildly, painful and you are wondering about so many things, why do you want to do it? How close do you feel to the other person? Is it purely physical, or is there something more? If there is something more, why would he want to hurt you? Why would you want to have pain?
With love and light,
Sue.
Hi. I appreciate your concerns but I want to do it because I'm curious, I feel close enough to this person to do it, I will find out if I like it or not etc. Also I would be interested to know the answers anyway.
One of the main points of my questions is removing the pain etc.
Thanks very much for the concerns. 4nal
RE: Bicurious and trying anal
hi 4nal and a very warm welcome to HP [sm=smilie_weihn_winki.gif]
i'm not a medical expert, but i personally feel that the pain you are currently experiencing is due to two factors: not being relaxed enough and more importantly, how the anus functions.
the anus is designed to act like a seal, without it we would all be wearing nappies!! thus, anything that goes in is treated by the body as a foreign object and the reaction is to expel it -its almost like an involuntary reflex.
there is a device that you can buy from a 'sex' shop called a butt plug which may be of help to youin order to get your anus having things inserted into it. in addition and also to minimise any pain, be sure to use plenty of lubricant.
i'm haven't got a scooby do how room odourisers would work [&:], i can only assume that some particular scents ( such as lavendar) have a calming effect and maybe this is what you mean by your question.
i can't advise you with your other questions and all i can say is that sex should be an enjoyable experience, not a painful one and in your particualr situation extra care is needed becuase the anus is delicate - be guided by your body and you should be fine.:D
warm wishes- calla lily x
RE: Bicurious and trying anal
ORIGINAL: calla lily
hi 4nal and a very warm welcome to HP [sm=smilie_weihn_winki.gif]
i'm not a medical expert, but i personally feel that the pain you are currently experiencing is due to two factors: not being relaxed enough and more importantly, how the anus functions.
the anus is designed to act like a seal, without it we would all be wearing nappies!! thus, anything that goes in is treated by the body as a foreign object and the reaction is to expel it -its almost like an involuntary reflex.
there is a device that you can buy from a 'sex' shop called a butt plug which may be of help to youin order to get your anus having things inserted into it. in addition and also to minimise any pain, be sure to use plenty of lubricant.
i'm haven't got a scooby do how room odourisers would work [&:], i can only assume that some particular scents ( such as lavendar) have a calming effect and maybe this is what you mean by your question.
i can't advise you with your other questions and all i can say is that sex should be an enjoyable experience, not a painful one and in your particualr situation extra care is needed becuase the anus is delicate - be guided by your body and you should be fine.:D
warm wishes- calla lily x
Thanks,
That was a very helpful post!
Room odourisers (in this sense) are basically poppers...
RE: Bicurious and trying anal
you're more than welcome 4nal [sm=hug.gif]and thank you for enlightening me by what you meant by 'room odourisers' ;)- i'm afraid i can't help you with that query but what i can advise you that being mentally relaxed willaid physical relaxation - perhaps some favourite music will have the same effect as the poppers.
warm wishes- calla lily x
RE: Bicurious and trying anal
4nal,
There's a young lady in the US who is quite a well known sex educator (goes around doing workshops and all that stuff). Her website is: [link= http://www.duckydoolittle.com/ ]http://www.duckydoolittle.com/[/link]. I don't know if your specific questions are answered on her site, but I'm sure if you emailed her she would be able to give you the necessary advice you are looking for.
RE: Bicurious and trying anal
You must let us know how that worked out for you and if you enjoyed it or not or if it was what you expected.
RE: Bicurious and trying anal
It's been a month since you wrote and I suppose you have already done it but if not.......here's some words of wisdom 🙂
It is quite helpful to practice anal foreplay before letting IT in. Anal foreplay would include your partner massaging the anal rim for at least 5 minutes with water based lubrication and slowly introducing fingers inside---not the whole way at first, so you could feel comfortable.
This will relax you and make you more comfortable. Then your partner should slowly start introducing his penis inside but you are the one who should be controling the pace of throbbing by hip (ass) movements. You should be leading since you are receiving.
Once you become comfortable, it gets really great and exciting.
Lubrication is used to lubricate the anal lining since it has no natural secretion and to avoid tears.
Enjoy!