pulling eyelashes out

RE: pulling eyelashes out

Hi Calla Lily!

Sorry to hear bout your daughter! I imagine it is quite distressing! When I was in schooll(along time ago)two girls in my class did this (11 and 12)! Both were quite studious and competitive girls! They both started around exam time! Unfortunatly like nail bitingshe may not even be aware she's doing it! Im sure some Hp person will be able to offer you some advise!
Goodluck
Tara x

RE: pulling eyelashes out

thank you for your reply tara [sm=1kis.gif], when she came downstairs earlier on prior to me realising what she had done, there was something different about her but i couldn't quite work out what it was until i looked closely!

my daughter is a child who has the brains but lacks the motivation and her motto in life is " i'll do it when i feel fit to do so!" so in that respect she hasn't got a competitive streak ( more like stubborn..wonder where she gets that from!![sm=scratchchin.gif][sm=rollaugh.gif]) and i agree with you, it could well be that shes unaware that she does it until theres no more eyelashes left to pluck.

oddly enough, she's not a nail biter and she is image conscious too which makes it even more bizarre [&:]!

thank you once again tara as its a relief that i'm not the only parent that is experiencing this as up until i read your reply i was thinking " is it just confined to my daughter"? so its a comfort that there are other girls who do this too.

warm wishes- christine x

RE: pulling eyelashes out

Hi Christine,

i'm really short of time, and even shorter now because my first post to you was lost.

Just wanted to say that this kind of behaviour, depending on the context of course, can constitute self-harm.

I found this on a very quick internet search:

Common forms of self-injury that rarely reach medical attention include sufferers pulling out their own hair and eyelashes, picking at spots or skin and scrubbing themselves so hard as to cause abrasion (sometimes using cleaners such as bleach).

Perhaps a further google search might help?Here are some links.

Sorry for having to end so abruptly, hope to catch up soon,

Azalia x x

RE: pulling eyelashes out

hi there azalia [sm=wave.gif]

thank you so much for the link [sm=1kis.gif]as its jam packed with so much information and tips.:D

although the underlying cause is still a mystery, i may of found a deterrent which hopefully will distract her whenever she gets the urge to pull. as my daughter is image conscious ( she likes to look nice clothes wise etc) i've said to her that when she gets older and wants to wear mascara, she won't be able to if she carries on her habit and that seems to of sunk in a bit.

also, i'm using a toy as a * go-between* ( i haven't lost the plot- honest![sm=nuts.gif]) as she seems to accept what i'm saying is i communicate this way- if i broach the subject with her normally she gets all defensive and feeds me a pack of lies, which in turn gets me cross.

although i have threatened her with the doctor, i'm going to leave that for now as its only confined to her upper eyelashes and has always been every time shes done it. if she does progress onto the hair on her head or eyebrows then i will have to take action but hopefully what i've said to her may be enough for her to think twice.

its such a shame too as she has been blessed with long eyelashes!

thanks one again azalia [sm=love-smiley-009.gif]

warm wishes- calla lily x

RE: pulling eyelashes out

Sometimes and I know you know this, children need a rock, a solid support, someone who loves them just as they are. In Stephen Covey's book "The Seven secrets... " he discloses how he realised that he and hiswifeneeded to accept his son just for who he was, not for who he wanted his sonto be, and then he could rejoice in who his sonwas, and not worry if he didn't meet up to how he 'should' be, and then, as he revelled in who his son was,his son grew. I have found with both my offspring, that left to their own devices, and with love and loving them for their unique persona's they have outgrown, in their own time, all their destructive behaviours. In the process I have a sense I have grown to,and discovered how powerfully diferent we all are, and how much I learn from them. A Mother's arms, and a big hug, and your presence. You are very powerful
Love and hugs
Jill

RE: pulling eyelashes out

Hi Calla Lilly,

You may want to look up this condition: Trichotillomania. I have had experience of this when i was a child........i used to pull out my hair and also my eyelashes. My mam used to notice little bald patches on my head when she would brush my hair. Luckily i grew out of this quite quickly (especially when my mam told me what would happen if i kept pulling out my hair......i realised that if i carried on the hair might not grow back and i would be stuck with the bald patches for the rest of my life.) She told me to try and distract myself if i realised that i was pulling at my hair because most of the time i was doing it without even thinking......it was quite a bad habit. Your daughter is probably also embarrased that you have found out.....i was mortified when my mam confronted me and i sulked for days. I thought that i was a freak for wanting to do this to myself and longed to have perfect hair. But she was kind and caring about it and really supportive and this helped me enormously.

Hope this helps

Kate
xxxxxxx

RE: pulling eyelashes out

Just thought of something else that might help......try buying her a fun stress toy to play with. I used to have one and would play with it every thime i felt the urge to pull. Eventually i just didn't feel the urge anymore......

Kate 😀

RE: pulling eyelashes out

hi kate [sm=wave.gif]

thank you for your reply [sm=1kis.gif], its been a tremendous help reading your own personal experience of " pulling" and how you overcame it. i agree wholeheartedly about my daughter being embarrassed when i confronted her as she spun all sorts of porkie pies than rather be honest and admit it- the last one being her brother pulled them out :eek:!

i have said to her that whilst she has been lucky that her lashes have grown back each time, one day she might not be so fortunate as she's weakening the hair follicles ( not sure if this is entirely true but i'm going on over zealous plucking of the eyebrows where they don't grow back if the plucking is prolonged and persistent).

as she does take pride in her appearance ( unlike me when i was her age![sm=rollaugh.gif]) i'm hoping this may of shocked her enough into breaking the habit. i don't think she has any hang -ups about the way she looks because many people have commented on how pretty she is, the irony being her eyes being her best feature[:@].

its going to be very hard for me to change my reaction should there be any repeat performances but the way forward is adopt the approach your own mum took as hitting the roof hasn't got me anywhere..as for buying her an anti-stress toy i think i will need to buy myself one too to rid of my frustration and exasperation!

thanks once again for your reply [sm=hug.gif]

warm wishes- calla lily x

RE: pulling eyelashes out

hi jill [sm=wave.gif],

thank you for replying [sm=hug.gif]what you mention does make perfect sense and next time i am at the library will seek out the book by stephen covey as it sounds very interesting 😀

warm wishes- calla lily x

RE: pulling eyelashes out

Hi Calla Lilly,

I can understand how you are feeling!! My mam felt exactly the same way (i think i caused her alot of stress as she was really worried about me!) Luckily at the time she was working as a nurse and recognised the symptoms.

I am still really embarrased by it even to this day......i don't do it as much as i used to, but i sometimes stillpull a fewstrands out of my hair when i am really stressed. I usually don't realised that i'm doing it. 🙁

The only people who knew about my condition were my parents. My grandma found out when she spoke to my mam after she had noticed me pulling at my hair when i was watching t.v. at her house.

I only told my husband a few months ago as there was an article about the condition in a magazine which he showed me (at the time he didn't even realise i had suffered from it). He was realy supportive when i told him. The only reason i can talk about it here is because i can keep some annonimity and i know i won't be judged. But, i can sympothise with your daughter....i used to have a bunch of lies that i told to try and cover up my behaviour as i was so ashamed and embarrased. 🙁

Please tell your daughter that you have talked to someone who knows what she's going through........she really mustmake an effort to try and curb her behaviour or she will regret it later in life.

Good Luck

Lots of love and hugs

Kate[sm=grouphug.gif][sm=grouphug.gif][sm=grouphug.gif]

RE: pulling eyelashes out

hi again kate :D,

i'm really hoping she grows out of it by next september as that's when she starts secondary school and that environment is prime breeding ground for any weaknesses/difference being picked up on and taunted with. 🙁

i will pull her to one side and pass on what you have mentioned as she may be more receptive with it coming from someone like yourself who has been in her shoes and can relate fully to what she's doing.

thank you so much for sharing your thoughts and feelings kate [sm=hug.gif]i appreciate it enormously .

warm wishes- christine x

RE: pulling eyelashes out

No problem Calla Lilly, glad i could help.

Kate:D

RE: pulling eyelashes out

How strange. That was exactly why I came here. To seek help since I pull out my eyelashes! I read every post here, and I think that a stress toy is a great idea! :DI'm so happy that there's a possibility of me stopping my habit.

XoX's,

Shelby

RE: pulling eyelashes out

Calla Lily..I yet am having the same issue wiht my step daughter, she has come form a long traumatic roll with her mother through the past 9 yrs, abuse, neglect and therefore hrdly being there for her..

She too does the same thing and sees a psychiatrist..I have no idea WHY she even does this, it was at first an excuse stating she had an eyelash stuck in her eye, therefore which is impossible to be true as al of the eyelashes on the upper & lower lid are completely gone.

There is nothing going on at shool, not being bullied..the only things that I can think of is the whole whereabouts is bothering her about her mom, or she was taught to do that by that household in her early yrs or anxiety..

I will post more as she is going to see the doctor this upcoming wednesday sept 27th.

hope I figure this one out too, its a frustrater.[:@]