I wonder if anyone can give any ideas about a request I have received from a worried mum?
I am a Reiki healer and met mum and her gorgeous little girl about 18 months ago when little girl was 2yrs. Mum was worried because child had been diagnosed with delayed development. The little girl was very receptive to the Reiki and became very relaxed and called her mum 'mummy' for the first time which was quite emotional as you can imagine. Mum also received the Reiki as the little girl was sat on her lap during the session and felt better afterwards. We decided to see how things went and I didn't make another appointment.
Now the reason for my request is that after 18 months mum called me last
night very upset. She has had helpers on a one-to-one basis over the past 6 months to help her little girl and everything was going well and the child was quite happy in her own little way and not so clingy to mum ( I used to do the same thing as a Lovaas therapist about 8 years ago with a 5yr old boy so I have some background knowledge). It seems though that there has been a dramatic change in last 3 weeks. Child is unhappy, doesn't want to be in the house and just stands by the door crying to go out for a walk. She's not interested in her favourite toys and has become very clingy to mum again which is really hard for her as she has another child. She's desperate to see if the Reiki will help settle her and I am going over there next week to see if I can help.
Now my intuition tells me that something happened 3 weeks ago in the house that has upset the child and made her feel unsafe. I asked mum if anything happened such as an argument/helper leaving or anything that might have seemed trivial to her and the family but would have been perceived entirely different by her daughter. She couldn't think of anything last night but will try and remember anything before I see them.
Would anyone here be able to help me with thinking of anything else that might be causing the little girl's behaviour so that I have something I can work on? I hasten to add that I don't think anything untoward happened to the little girl, I just get the feeling she's been upset by somthing she's seen or heard which makes her feel that the house isn't where she wants to be.
I would be very grateful for any ideas.
Love and light
reikiangel
xxx
This is a difficult one ....
It may not have been a single event that "caused" it IYKWIM, but it may have been a single event that was the last straw. Something that was tolerated reasonably well then suddenly becomes intolerable.... I've had enough of this, I don't want to do it any more ..... but the thought is not on a conscious level, or it isn't understood, or it cant be verbalised ...
She may be associating her home environment with something she is finding stressful. (having mentioned Lovaas type teaching I'm assuming her 1-1 is something along those lines) so at a certain level is her bodymind "knowing" that isn't what she needs?
Wanting to be outside her home environment with someone she loves and trusts makes sense, if any activity inside the home environment makes her feel insecure, or unable to express her unhappiness. Is it crucial that the 1-1 work is done at home because its part of a programme, or if its more flexible support can it be away from the home, leaving the home the sanctuary?
If she is now associating the home with unhappy thoughts, would having Reiki away from the home be better than inside it until the mystery is unravelled?
Other possibilities include whether there has been any change in diet, toiletries, cleaning products - anything. If a child's "internal environment" changes, then how they perceive the "outside environment" also changes, and behaviour changes follow sooner of later. (Fluoride toothpaste for example can be one of the causes of food phobia as the body "knows" on some level that it is being poisoned by the mouth, so the mind can produce elaborate food rituals to try and stay "safe".)
So it could be like peeling the layers of an onion to unravel the mystery ....
Best of luck.:)
Thank you Rustic for taking the time to answer my question. You're quite right about the 1-1 and I suppose it's at home because she is only 3yrs old. The reason I am going to the home is to see if I 'pick up' anything there that I can Reiki too.
Thank you for the different pointers to the reasons for her behaviour and I will certainly keep them in mind when talking to her mum.
Love and light
reikiangel
xxx
I've been in child care for over 14years and most of that has been spent as a nanny.
I've seen so many toddlers and young children go through phases of when parents come and say their good byes in the morning, go to walk out the door in the morning to go to work , they say bye to the toddlers/children and they just turn round and say bye or even just carry on playing with their toys and not be bothered at all. Then for no reason what so ever a few days later be clinging onto their parents for what looks like dear life as they go to leave then go back to just playing with their toys a few days later and not been bothered.
The same would happen in the evenings when I would leave to go home once the parents were back . Some days they wouldnt care I was going home other days they would cling onto me and the parents would literally have to pull them off me .
There would be no particular reason for this behaviour either.
The same happens when the parents come home in the evening, some times the parents woudl just get a polite smile if they were lucky , other times it would be a full on hug.
I've also seen it when childen will "act cry" when their parents go to leave and then as soon as they realise the parents have gone anyway stop and go and play. Once they realise they are not getting any extra attention from this behaviour they stop bothering. They would also do this when I would drop them off at playgroup/nursery .
Is the little girl getting any extra attention from when she behaves like this? Becuase children will do anything to get attention, they would sometimes rather have negative attention from adult ( been told off ) than no attention at all. So if she is getting any extra attention from this behaviour I would suggest ignoring her when she behaves like this.
You mention she has delayed learning and as she is only three years old anyway , many 3 year olds behave like she does anyway as they realise it is a way of getting extra attention, many children go through "the terrible twos" from anything from 18months old upwards.
Good luck anyway with everything.
Hello Vegan and welcome to HP. Thank you for sharing your experience with children. I know what you mean about how kids can be with their parents when being left!
I went to see mum and her little girl yesterday and it was quite interesting. I think mum is the one with the anxiety more than her little girl. Funnily enough I did mention to her would her daughter get the same attention when she was 'whinging' if she was 'normal'? Mum became a bit defensive at this!
It seems they had a new 'helper' a few weeks ago who didn't gel with the little girl and this is what caused things to kick off. The person has left now so at least this explains the little girl getting upset.
I truly feel the little one is here for a reason so I don't feel it's my place to interfere but I do feel Mum needs a bit of support and understanding. I'm glad we got to have this talk and hopefully she will feel she can phone me if she feels over-whelmed.
Thanks for your advice
Love and light
reikiangel
xxx