When I first started out, I used to get phone calls from men asking for extras but I've never had anyone ask in person so far. I put these calls down to the fact that I had put an advert on several free ad sites like Gumtree advertising my business. Once I removed the adverts from those sites (and never used them again), I stopped getting regular calls. I still get the occasional call but maybe once a year.
On my website under the terms and condition section I have written: "I have the right to refuse treatment if you behave in an inappropriate way or if you are intoxicated with alcohol or drugs."
Thanks for the replies everyone. I have decided that I will not be treating male clients anymore, problem solved.
With regards to the search engine theory, I was getting just as many many requests prior to adding 'I do not offer any kind of sexual service', that was a last resort out of desperation really. I have also never advertised on Gumtree, vivastreet, or any website other than professional health/CM sites.
That's 2 of us then Ectomorph!
Thanks for the replies everyone. I have decided that I will not be treating male clients anymore, problem solved.
That's a real shame, both for potential male clients and for you (as you are removing 50% of your potential clientele). I never had a massage until I was in my 40s because it used to be hard to find massage for men that wasn't in dodgy massage parlours. In the last two decades, it has become a lot easier, so it is a shame that a minority are now spoiling it for the rest of us.
Incidentally, that is a brilliant idea of Kitten's... getting clients to fill in a consultation form in advance. That could save me a load of time in appointments, so I might give that one a go. Thanks, Kitten!
Incidentally, that is a brilliant idea of Kitten's... getting clients to fill in a consultation form in advance. That could save me a load of time in appointments, so I might give that one a go. Thanks, Kitten!
I thought that's how most people did it actually. I am planning to do so myself and people I have visited for treatments also do this. There is no point getting a client to come for an appointment and THEN discovering they have something which precludes them from treatment.
This is really interesting.
Going through school, my Instructor made it abundantly clear that by making statements on your website that state you don't participate in those type of services, it is drawing the unwanted attention to you, rather than avoiding it.
I'm sorry to hear that you have decided not to treat male clients, I find that 60% of my clientelle are male, and are some of the best clients i've ever worked with.
I havent received too many of these types of calls, but I find that you can tell pretty quickly what the caller is impying. Most of the time it will involve questions about whether or not they will be naked, and I did have one person email me who said that they did not want to be under a blanket during their massage as they preferred to be "free".
I try to convey professionalism, and underline the fact that clients are draped at all times, and only the area being treated will be undraped. I find that if you are confident in tone, and come across as someone who won't take any nonesense, that the weird calls end pretty quickly.
I hope that you do well, and that you can get over this situation, it really is a small, small annoyance in the grand scheme of things.
I find it amazing that you people offer relief of body stress, and refuse to be complete in it, Selected treatments are half treatments, although I would never ask for such treatments like body manipulations,as they are of no use.
Regards Meta
I find it amazing that you people offer relief of body stress, and refuse to be complete in it, Selected treatments are half treatments,
Regards Meta
What are you implying here?
Just what I was wondering! Very odd post.
Just what I was wondering! Very odd post.
Imagine I go and see a medical practitioner and he tell me I treat all parts of your body except your genitals. You think thats right?
Regards Meta
Some very good observations here, I agree with all those who say removing 50% of your client base can't be a very good business move,also don't place your ad on sites like Gumtree where it gets mixed in with the sensual massage type of ads.On this forum there are many threads about dodgy males etc as a balanced discussion A question for the male therapists what about women clients? do they not ask for extras? make suggestive calls?
A question for the male therapists what about women clients? do they not ask for extras? make suggestive calls?
The majority of my clients are women and they never ask for extras or make suggestive calls. However, I do get a lot of calls from men who get off the phone very quickly when they find out I'm a male therapist.
So I think there is a small minority of men who don't understand the meaning of the word massage.
Myarka
Myarka words
'So I think there is a small minority of men who don't understand the meaning of the word massage'
hits the nail on the head in so many of these threads
This is a serious thread about someone - which applies to many people actually in the same way I'm sure (ladies) - who simply want to have a profession, and in a clean way. After all, 'normal' massage (I've hardly ever had any but 2-3 times from people I knew) is great. One was so great, I relaxed enough that I fell asleep. A lot of heart went into it, and it was 'normal'. Now, this is not my area of expertise, giving or receiving massage. But let me get this out of my system? I've noticed over years that the subject in these forums attracts a lot of attention? And a lot of good advice has been given. But I just read the thread and, to lighten it up, it was hard not to simply post: "Sorry, I won't call again!" :p
Having got that weak joke done, a bit more seriously, in fact truly seriously:
What I mean to say is these men are not sexual deviants or perverts or any other negative name that could be applied. They are just normal men who realise that the pleasure they receive from massage (and come on, let's not try to say that massage isn't pleasurable! Unless it's painful sports or deep tissue work.) would be amplified to the nth degree if a sexual element was incorporated.
I understand where you are coming from, but I'll just add it's a generalisation. I once lived in a macabre London street which had everything - I mean from cafes to corner shops, a funeral parlour, and I only slowly realised that two places of bad repute were only three doors away. I was slow to realise it as I was busy and naive.
I was into playing 'punishing' sports which I could hardly move after at the time, and knew no 'normal' massage outlets. I recall that twice I was walking past this place only three doors away, and as I was at the time single, so no one else to ask, I was the opposite of what you write! I JUST wanted a massage (I realised they were probably not qualified, but anyone can give you a good rub-down) and I 100% didn't want anything else! So twice I considered going in and offering to pay the going rate, but stipulating that it was ONLY for massage.
(I didn't do it either time in the end, as I lived with several people three doors away: imagine the scenario if one saw me coming out. :p "I was ONLY in there for a real massage." "Oh, yeah, sure!!" So I missed out when I could hardly walk after racket sports.)
My point being that I don't know any scientific statistics on this, but there must be very many people for whom the pleasure would NOT be amplified by a sexual element. It certainly wasn't what I wanted.
Men are much more inclined to give in to their sexual urges than women are.
I find that debatable TBH, but it's another thread. 🙂
My final 'gripe' is, how come I twice had deep and close relationships lasting years with ladies who just happened to do massage above-board, only totally for health issues, and due to their tiredness at the end of the day, and lack of time once the working day was over, over literally years I never once got one myself! :confused::mad::D
P.S. Oh, and not so long back I was in India where at an ashram it was a rule and stipulation that you had a daily massage for a small fee. They were given by young males. It's another story, but the first of two who dealt with me certainly "wandered" (!) so I felt on the receiving end of being abused!
P.P.S. It really does work both ways you know. I'm now in an average-sized town, and for a while, just two streets away, a lady opened up offering massage in the window. It all looked completely above-board, and I'm sure it was. Massage is nice. It can include a social, chatty element, I've learned from those who give it. But I never went there because, as a man, I felt I'd be categorised as someone who was 'in it' for other reasons, possibly at a 50-50 possibility. So men wanting real massage might be like me, and avoid it because of connotations. Is there some system or network set up (if not there could be) whereby it's 100% clear that the massuese (I tend to think, 'lady' as I once in England had one from a man and it just frankly felt real strange) and the client both know it is most definitely above-board?
V
Is there some system or network set up (if not there could be) whereby it's 100% clear that the massuese (I tend to think, 'lady' as I once in England had one from a man and it just frankly felt real strange) and the client both know it is most definitely above-board?
V
At the moment there isn't, it's an idea though, I'd definitely join!
As somebody has already said, I'm probably missing out on some very nice male clients because there are perverts out there that ruin it for the genuine ones. I don't understand why these men don't go straight to the 'other' ladies, instead of bothering legit therapists.
As somebody has already said, I'm probably missing out on some very nice male clients because there are perverts out there that ruin it for the genuine ones. I don't understand why these men don't go straight to the 'other' ladies, instead of bothering legit therapists.
I've said this before on other threads, but someone who wants sex is not a "pervert"! They might be misguided in thinking that a legitimate massage therapist (such as myself) is offering sex, and you might think they are sad or pathetic (though you can't really tell that unless you know their circumstances), but they are not perverts. Unless, of course, you got round to discussing their particular preferences and know better! 😉