Ahh but it is not only the men that make these calls/emails and texts!
I am a male therapist, my area is mainly remedial and sports.
A client had about 4 sessions (1 a week) she was 44 and I am 25 (just some background info 😉
All going fine, and then at 1.30am one morning I had a text saying along the lines of " Hey, what are you up to? I could really do with a massage, and the hubby is away 😉 😉 xxx"
At first I ignored it and was very surprised.. then I got 3 missed calls from her and another massage saying..... well, I wont repeat on here!!
The next morning I had a message purely saying "Sorry.."
Well, I have never seen her since!
I have also had a few other emails from women asking subtle but not suitable questions..
Back to original post:
be proud of what you are doing, as said before, don't feel the need to explain or argue. If you ever come home from what should be an enjoyable night with friends feeling as you did, a serious re-evaluation of that certain friendship needs to be made.
🙂
Danny
Hi All
would you recommend replying to these type of e-mails, Would it not be better to regard them as spam?
If they had read your website, they would know which treatments were mentioned.
You would only have to engage with a client if this was in person.
Has anyone experienced this in a treatment room,if so, how did you handle it?
🙂 x
With the way the email started off I wasn't to know that's what he was looking for, they see the word massage and probably just think oh good, she does happy endings !
It now makes me wary of every man that rings, texts or emails and it shouldn't be like that.
Hi Danny
A night out with the girs and a little too much vino I think !
At least she could sill remember what she'd done the day after to apologise though
as an amateur masseur I am surprised about the contact messages I get from men wanting to arrange sensual, extremely sensual or more, massages for their wives or partners. ........................
I've had a lot of these comments, especially when I was working in, ahem, the back of a barber's shop... Also had a couple of sexual requests - both from Gumtree, which seems to attract all kinds of slightly unhinged people.
I think part of the problem is that in much of our culture, touch is sexualised and touching someone is often thought of as intrinsically a sexual action, unless it's a very cold clinical touch like a GP. I think this is particularly the case for men.
Apparently in the history of Tui Na massage, they decided to change the name from An Mo to Tui Na because An Mo had taken on the same sort of unwelcome connotations that we have been talking about with 'massage'. I think that was in something like the 14th century.
as an amateur masseur I am surprised about the contact messages I get from men wanting to arrange sensual, extremely sensual or more, massages for their wives or partners. ........................
Really?? Never happens to me! 🙁
Hi, I would suggest as the others have. Ignore your friends comments, poor things :rolleyes:.
I have never had the misfortune to have any negative comments about massage, or if I have, I have just laughed and then ignored them. I did my first diploma in massage in 1995 when I was 19, so I am sure I must have had a few comments thrown about (I was a skinny buxom thing!) but again, I just can't remember them!
Another thing I haven't ever come across (and I don't know whether to be relieved or concerned..;)) is that I have have never, ever had anyone asking my about happy endings or behaving in that way. I do however a note on my website and literature stating that I only have female clients. Not because I don't like giving massages etc to men but because I want to filter out those that do think that a happy ending is an option. Now before all the men on HP start yelling at me (she hides under an umbrella) I DO give massages to men if I know there will be a girlfriend/wife/female friend there on the first meeting and infact do have a regular male client but as a mobile therapist going into peoples homes I am unwilling to feel even slightly uneasy going to or during a treatment. It would affect my massage even if it was just my perception of a situation and nothing sinister was actually occurring.
I actually had a chap ring me yesterday afternoon asking if I could give him a sports massage because he had just returned from snowboarding in Canada. I rang him back and had a chat with him and just explained that I was really sorry but I had a policy not to visit men. I felt bad, not to mention it was annoying that I had lost a client but he was very understanding and said he could quite see where I was coming from. I did say that I wasn't making a general statement about men but it was just my policy.
If I had my own treatment room things would be different. I would know I had my family or colleagues close by and I could be much more flexible but as it stands I have to work in a mobile capacity.
So yes, I am cutting out 50% of my potential earnings but at least I don't get pervy calls/texts/emails!!
Please don't let negative comments about massage put you off. Like someone else said earlier, massage has been around since ancient civilisations were strutting their stuff and if people are a bit too dense to realise it, then they are only missing out!!
D
It's happened again! Bumped into a woman I haven't seen in ages and she asked what I was doing now. I said I'd been back to college and was now a massage therapist and the jokes started!
I have to say she is a professional, well-educated woman and the last person I was expecting to come out with rubbish like this! So shocked was I that I just stood there like a fool!:o She said "every time I pass a phone box I'll wonder if you have your card in there" and "so you're almost a lady of the night now". I'm sure you can hear her laughter!!:rolleyes:
It amazes me how some people have such pre-conceived ideas about massage and it makes me cross that they can be so rude and personal.
I just couldn't think of any appropriate remarks to stop her in her tracks but I did ask her what she was doing now and she said she was permanently tired even though she's only working part-time.
The best I could manage was "you'd be an ideal person for massage then" and I said "I'll drop you a card in next time I'm over here." She said "I'm so exhausted I'd probably fall apart if I was massaged."
Part of me wants to re-educate her and part of me is still very annoyed.
I also think I need to have some witty replies for the next time it happens .... help!!:)
ive not had many bad comments about being in massage.
a few friends have joked whether i do extra's, to which i replied "yes i could charge you an extra £10 if you want :-)":rolleyes::D it did wipe the smile from his face:eek:
try telling people what you do in a different way, tell people you are a muscular therapist or a therapist in the use of massage
remember there are a lot of us out there, so try and make yourself a bit more interesting from the others.
also be proud of what you do, massage is a valuable service that can benefit people in many ways.
Hi TH
Just because someone is a professional and well-educated doesnt mean that they are intelligent! Don't let such "educated" morons get you down. Tell them straight that they are a f*** wit and it's about time they wake up and smell the coffee. Like TB says be proud of being a massage therapist, it is a legitmate profession and a growing industry. Sounds like your mate is very unhappy in her life and her work, oh my heart bleeds....
Best wishes
RP
Thank you both for your replies. I am proud of going back to college and gaining my qualifications and I am looking forward to getting some regular clients.
Some people have been very complimentary and said "that sounds interesting" or "good for you, I've often considered doing something completely different" etc but I feel SO uncomfortable when people make smutty remarks.
It's weird really because I am really open minded and definitely not a prude but I hate being put in this position. I want to say something really rude back ........ thank you for the suggestion Reiki Pixie.:)
i know how you feel about being classed as something your not. as well as running my own CHB i am also part of my family business which is in the building industry, my dad who owns the business has been working for over 45 years now, and i managed to trace the business back to 1807 (so far) but people always think "Cowboy Builders" when they here the job you have, if they knew my dad he is definitely no cowboy more of a perfectionist than anything, something i have carried into my CHB, i give the best service i can, people hire me to help them feel better and get back to sport or work.
there are always some idiots out there that think its funny to put us down as something else
we dont need these people as clients anyway
i know how you feel about being classed as something your not. as well as running my own CHB i am also part of my family business which is in the building industry, my dad who owns the business has been working for over 45 years now, and i managed to trace the business back to 1807 (so far) but people always think "Cowboy Builders" when they here the job you have, if they knew my dad he is definitely no cowboy more of a perfectionist than anything, something i have carried into my CHB, i give the best service i can, people hire me to help them feel better and get back to sport or work.
there are always some idiots out there that think its funny to put us down as something else
we dont need these people as clients anyway
Yes, you're right beagle. It's the few bad apples that go into any trade or business which reflects badly on others.
I also think a lot of it is plain ignorance about how, say, a massage is carried out, what the benefits are etc.
This has been an interesting thread to read. I'm lucky i've only had one person texting me with obsenities in the 15 years I've been doing this job.
I used to get a few 'friends' making comments about what I did. One particular 'gentleman' (and I use the term loosely) kept asking if I did extras. He was a friend's husband and always asked when there were a load of us having dinner just to embarrass me. After one particular evening I'd had enough and I arranged with my friend (his wife) to call on their house. I'd borrowed a waxing machine, told him to sit down and plugged the machine in. He sat there white as anything with a mouth like a fish whilst I offered to show him what extras were on offer. He apologised and hasn't said anything since...i'm just glad he didn't call my bluff as I've never waxed anyone in my life and I certainly wasn't about to begin a new career with that part of someones anatomy!
Twohoots - if you don't want to tell your 'friends' exactly what they could do with themselves when they make a comment then try and come up with a one liner that's verging on the rude but it'll take them a while to realise that! Hope the comments stop soon.