Hi,
Hope you don't mind but I wanted to get this down whilst it is fresh in my mind and I thought I would share it with you - don't worry, I'm not going to bore you with details of every session I do.
Anyway, Geoff (not his real name) came as a willing volunteer even though he did not know what he was letting himself in for. I explained the background and the technique. We cleared several issues including specific aspects such as being humiliated, resentful and angry. He was quite impressed at how the SUDs went from 8s, 9s and 10s to 0 very quickly.
Then, just as I was ready to wrap the session up he threw in issues experienced as a small child which were just awful and with which his SUD was 20!! We did a few rounds about the emotions that he was feeling, eg "this evil Miss X emotion" etc but we could not shift below 19. I tried Cook's hook up (we were drinking water throughout the session) but by this time he had had enough and wanted to end the session.
I was concerned about finishing on such a negative note but he assurred me that he was fine and he could deal with the thoughts that had emerged. With hindsight, I am guessing that he was talking more easily than he realised about the events, although that may be wishful thinking!!
Has anyone got any thoughts on this?
I feel really good about how the session went all in all but disappointed about the end. I know I should do some tapping for myself on this but to be quite honest I feel as though I have done enough for one evening.
Steve gave me some very positive feedback about the session and says he may well use EFT himself.
RE: Unresolved issues in EFT session
if you mail me with the specific issues that cam e up during the suds 20 level i will be able to give more acurate feedback for you.
forgiveness is paramount and if he cant forgive then " even though i cant forgive x i am open to the possablilty of forgiving x
another good one is tapping on its not my fault , i was only a kid.
also " i forgive myself any any part of my self that is responsible for holding on to this ( hurt/anger /sadness etc )
forgiveness does not mean you make someones actions ok, it means that the part geoff is holding on to and the part that is hurting can be healed, explain this before clearing it.
i hope this helps
also the client needs to tap every day on issues that arise and make a list of what comes up and measure suds before and after, then bring them to the next session, this way you have a better idea of what comes up out of the office.
well done btw
lab
dez
RE: Unresolved issues in EFT session
Hi Sarah
Dez's advice is as usual spot on.
Here's a couple of additional thoughts which you might consider for 'first aid' when something like this happens.
1. get less specific. Just keep tapping rounds without any setup or reminder phrase until the feelings subside. It's possible that there are so many aspects that it's all just too much. Once it's calm(er), you could use the story protocol, tapping on each moment that is anything other than completely neutral. Or you could use the 'tearless trauma' technique. Basically, you dissociate another level. Instead of thinking about the situation directly, you say "I realise it's too painful to think about, but if you were to vividly imagine/remember this situation, what do you guess the SUD might be?" Then you tap on that (Even though if I were to think about X, I'd feel Y...) until the score comes down. Then you can invite them to actually imagine the event itself vividly - it will probably be much lower than if they had done it in the first place.
2. You could try "collar bone breathing" It's described on Gary's CDs. I find it often helps when the scores aren't moving, but I have to say I haven't used it when the SUDs are >10!
Hope this helps
All the best
Jonathan
RE: Unresolved issues in EFT session
Thanks guys, 2 very helpful replies.
Dez, just doing a quick check in at the mo, so will email you later when I have a bit more time, thanks.
BTW, I saw Geoff today and he said he was not traumatised. I told him that I was asking for help here and from the others on my course if he didn't mind. He doesn't have a problem with this.
Will catch you all later
Regards
Sarah
RE: Unresolved issues in EFT session
A quick update - I have shown Geoff the suggestions that Dez very kindly gave me. I told him I would not pressurize him but if he wanted to give it a go just to ask. So far he hasn't but........ who knows?
At least I've had some other good results so I am not downhearted!!
Sarah
RE: Unresolved issues in EFT session
Sarah
when he is ready he will.
you are right not to pressure him and it is his choice to continue suffering or to sort it out
at the end of the day we can lead a horse to water but we cant make it drink
lab
dez