hiya
I am involved with a relationship that is not good for me. My health is suffering, mainly exhaustion. I feel I have rushed into this relationship and given my all. I seem to get involved in relationships where I lose who I am. This person is not bad, not violent, it is more like a very subtle control thing. I only see them once a fortnight, and I am finding it hard to just make a break as I gave my word I would always be there for this person.
I do love this person, but my health is not the same as it was before I went into this relationship. I don't want to hurt them by now saying I have lost interest. Also I need healing for toothache too.
I am gay, and this person is 17 years younger than me.
Any help would be great
thank you
hiya
I am involved with a relationship that is not good for me. My health is suffering, mainly exhaustion. I feel I have rushed into this relationship and given my all. I seem to get involved in relationships where I lose who I am. This person is not bad, not violent, it is more like a very subtle control thing. I only see them once a fortnight, and I am finding it hard to just make a break as I gave my word I would always be there for this person.
I do love this person, but my health is not the same as it was before I went into this relationship. I don't want to hurt them by now saying I have lost interest. Also I need healing for toothache too.
I am gay, and this person is 17 years younger than me.
Any help would be great
thank you
Hi SolarFire,
You are taking emotional responsibility for the relationship and therefore it has become unbalanced. Because of the initial "high" and passion you both have found that things have developed at a pace greater than you expected. So some elements of the relationship are more developed than others.
Being gay shouldn't make any difference to the relationship unless either or both of you are not "out", then it becomes more complex. The same with the age difference, it should only make a difference if your partner is under age, but the you know the answer to that.
Having said all that, you've both got to communicate, it's essential for the relationship to work. Early on there are so many emotions flying around and it is easy to over commit, especially when your are experiencing things for the first time.
I'm guessing that because you only see each every 2 weeks, you're feeling rushed when you are together and you don't really have the time to do things together where you can talk and work on the friendship side.
Therefore, find time to talk, find time to go out together and get to know each without the pressures of passion.
Myarka
solarfire.
I know that you know what the best thing is to do so do it. you cannot avoid hurting the ones you love. so do what is best for you and you will soon start to feel better, if the other person involved does not understand then thats a problem they shall have to deal with. so get on and make that decision that will make you well again good luck and be brave..
Sending love, healing and strength to you SolarFire...
If you have a tooth that is making your life a misery. You have it extracted.
If a relationship is making you ill..........?...Only you have the answer.
Blessings of Spring
:hippy:Solar Fire,
I Feel you are in need of a break from all relationships until your health is as it should be, you have to be honest to yourself before you can be honest to anyone else,
if your relationship is making you unhappy its time to go your seperate ways. it doesnt matter if you are gay or not
that is your choice, but my answer would be the same to any couple straight or gay.
take care