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Why is there the need for love ...

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NICE_1
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Hey all πŸ™‚

As the title suggests

'Why is there the need or the longing for love' ... is it a need? Is it a longing? .

Whats happening ...

x daz x

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(@jnani)
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If water started wondering why it 'needs' to be wet....

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amy green
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Why would someone want to live without love of any kind? Wouldn't that be a bleak/cold reality? It's a complex question since, on a biological level, you might say we are driven to seek out a partner to reproduce and so love would enter into this equation. Perhaps the need and longing may be to do with the conditioning of our society, certainly there seems to be a stigma about remaining single.

On a basic level, seeking love is motivated by the need for acceptance. Is it also to continue the affection we were once shown when we were children - by our parents? I can see that this is a longing. For it to become a need may indicate our lack of self worth. The more in turmoil we are, it would seem that the more we need to be loved.I have been celibate, by choice, for decades and have high self esteem. I do not feel the need for a partner at all but love, in the form of acceptance by friends, is healthy and desirable I feel.

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NICE_1
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If water started wondering why it 'needs' to be wet....

From where does water wonder from?

From a place where water knows that it is water ?

x daz x

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NICE_1
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Why would someone want to live without love of any kind? Wouldn't that be a bleak/cold reality? It's a complex question since, on a biological level, you might say we are driven to seek out a partner to reproduce and so love would enter into this equation. Perhaps the need and longing may be to do with the conditioning of our society, certainly there seems to be a stigma about remaining single.

On a basic level, seeking love is motivated by the need for acceptance. Is it also to continue the affection we were once shown when we were children - by our parents? I can see that this is a longing. For it to become a need may indicate our lack of self worth. The more in turmoil we are, it would seem that the more we need to be loved.I have been celibate, by choice, for decades and have high self esteem. I do not feel the need for a partner at all but love, in the form of acceptance by friends, is healthy and desirable I feel.

Lots in the mix there Amy, Its interesting when one relates to need and when one relates to longing . I suppose they share very similar traits if I can call them that .

When there is a longing or a need could it be safe to say that there is something missing within the individual that needs or longs for anything ..

x daz x

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amy green
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When there is a longing or a need could it be safe to say that there is something missing within the individual that needs or longs for anything ..

x daz x

To need or long for love being seen as a weakness? Lacking? It may well be a question of degree. As indicated, to have a great need for love would indicate to me that there is lack of inner harmony in that person. Look how keenly a ditched person can be to take on another relationship - on the rebound? It's like they fear the exploration of turning loneliness into solitude, i.e. focusing on another for their happiness. This strikes me as second hand happiness and that to cultivate being content within yourself is a stabilising boon. I feel that the more at peace one becomes with self, the need for love loses its desperation and can become more of a want than a longing/yearning.

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Energylz
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I think there's a clear distinction between 'true love' (love without attachment) and selfish (for want of a better word) love (love with attachment).

True Love is not a need or a longing, and exists between all things
Selfish love creates need/longing, and is not true love;

Selfish love is the sort of love that, when the object of the love is removed; creates conflict (manifesting as various emotions in the mind etc.) That is the nature of attachment in this dualistic type of love.

True Love, when the object is removed, remains, without causing conflict. That is because the object is recognised as being something that cannot be truly removed as it is part of us in the oneness; and we cannot remove our Self from our Self.

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derekgruender
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Hey all πŸ™‚

As the title suggests

'Why is there the need or the longing for love' ... is it a need? Is it a longing? .

Whats happening ...

x daz x

Nice_1 in order to question why there is a need or longing for love, one must assume, in the first place, that such a need or longing exists. My question to you is, how do you arrive at such an assumption. Is there a need or longing for love? πŸ™‚

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From where does water wonder from?

From a place where water knows that it is water ?

x daz x

The question is in you...go figure.
Water is oblivious of wet or dry, just is what it is.

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amy green
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I don't think water is a good analogy here. After all it does not have an ego from whence come thoughts, emotions/desires etc.

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NICE_1
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To need or long for love being seen as a weakness? Lacking? It may well be a question of degree. As indicated, to have a great need for love would indicate to me that there is lack of inner harmony in that person.

From a hard line perspective it does indeed reflect a weakness or a sense of lack on some level .. Many might say there is no weakness in feeling the need or their desire to share their love with another, is it more the fact that they want to give love or that they want to receive love? There is perhaps difference in reflection but sameness in regards to the need for either .

Many perhaps just want someone to love, whether it be a partner in crime lols or a puppy it doesn't matter whom or what it is but I would say there is a different reflection had for someone that loves without the need or the desire too .

x daz x

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NICE_1
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Nice_1 in order to question why there is a need or longing for love, one must assume, in the first place, that such a need or longing exists. My question to you is, how do you arrive at such an assumption. Is there a need or longing for love? πŸ™‚

If you look at the multitude of lonely heart columns you will see that millions of people are looking, needing, searching, wanting, desiring love . I was no different in that respect at a certain point in my life when I felt as though something was missing . Love at the time seemed to fit the bill in that respect . Things happen and things change, love comes and goes from one individual to another in some shape or form .

The love of another or the love of one's self be it seen as the same or a different love seems to elude many .

x daz x

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NICE_1
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The question is in you...go figure.
Water is oblivious of wet or dry, just is what it is.

It is only what one thinks it is .. You have concluded it is what it is .. it perhaps isn't even that ..

x daz x

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NICE_1
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True Love is not a need or a longing, and exists between all things
Selfish love creates need/longing, and is not true love;

I understand a love that is in a sense not needed or longed for Giles .

For many the coming together of two individuals creates a sense of falling in love with each other .. If one is not longing or needing the love of another then something quite unusual happens wouldn't you say .

I have only met one person who does not need love who is with someone who needs love .

Perhaps it is rare for two individuals that do not need love that are in love .

I think there is something in the one that does not need love showing the way to those that do need love especially if they are in the relationship with them .

x daz x

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Energylz
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I don't think water is a good analogy here. After all it does not have an ego from whence come thoughts, emotions/desires etc.

Are you sure it doesn't have ego? It has memory. πŸ˜‰

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amy green
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Are you sure it doesn't have ego? It has memory. πŸ˜‰

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Crowan
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I don't think water is a good analogy here. After all it does not have an ego from whence come thoughts, emotions/desires etc.

It has a spirit which can be communicated with.

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amy green
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I don't think water is a good analogy here. After all it does not have an ego from whence come thoughts, emotions/desires etc.

It has a spirit which can be communicated with.

My point was that, since water does not have ego, it does not have thoughts and desires.

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Crowan
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How do you know it has no ego? Spirits certainly have thoughts, otherwise there would be no communication. Some have desires.

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amy green
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How do you know it has no ego? Spirits certainly have thoughts, otherwise there would be no communication. Some have desires.

Ego and spirit are not one and the same thing as I'm sure you know. Spirits have energies...is this thought though? Are you saying you think water has an ego?? (shrugs)

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Crowan
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However about love. It just is. It flows through the universe. My spirit teacher once said to me that humans don't really understand love because we are, of necessity, disconnected from the "whole" that we are part of. Therefore what we really seek is connection. C at least as near as we can get to a definition.

But when we think/sing/dream/etc about love, we tend not to be thinking of simple connection. Our ideas of love are formed by television, films, books and songs. So we think we need something that is actually completely false.

That's where the so-called "need" the longing come from.

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Crowan
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Ego and spirit are not one and the same thing as I'm sure you know. Spirits have energies...is this thought though? Are you saying you think water has an ego?? (shrugs)

Of course, Ego and spirit are different. But communication requires thought. Personality requires ego.

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Energylz
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Ego and spirit are not one and the same thing as I'm sure you know. Spirits have energies...is this thought though? Are you saying you think water has an ego?? (shrugs)

Ego = Ahankara in Sanskrit
Ahankara is made from the two Sanskrit words Aham and Kara.
Aham is the true self... the one awareness... the One... whatever you want to label it as.
Kara is any thing in creation, whether that's physical, emotional, mental... e.g thoughts, ideas, physical objects etc.

When the one awareness (Aham) becomes attached to any 'thing' (Kara) then Ego is created (Ahankara). A 'thing' is created when awareness sees something as separate i.e. duality exists, so where there is duality, there is ego.

If water is considered separate from the self, then ego exists. The ego is not belonging to the self or the water, but exists because of both, so water does have ego, just as much as anything has ego.

πŸ˜‰

All Love and Reiki Hugs

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amy green
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Of course, Ego and spirit are different. But communication requires thought. Personality requires ego.

I disagree that communication necessarily requires thought. Do ants and bees use thought to communicate?

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amy green
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Ego = Ahankara in Sanskrit
Ahankara is made from the two Sanskrit words Aham and Kara.
Aham is the true self... the one awareness... the One... whatever you want to label it as.
Kara is any thing in creation, whether that's physical, emotional, mental... e.g thoughts, ideas, physical objects etc.

When the one awareness (Aham) becomes attached to any 'thing' (Kara) then Ego is created (Ahankara). A 'thing' is created when awareness sees something as separate i.e. duality exists, so where there is duality, there is ego.

If water is considered separate from the self, then ego exists. The ego is not belonging to the self or the water, but exists because of both, so water does have ego, just as much as anything has ego.

πŸ˜‰

All Love and Reiki Hugs

If water has an ego...then, presumably, it is capable of being egoistic!!! This is looking like crazy talk to me.

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Crowan
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I'm talking about meaningful communication between spirits (in this case of water) and humans (in this case journeying shamanic practitioners).

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amy green
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I'm talking about meaningful communication between spirits (in this case of water) and humans (in this case journeying shamanic practitioners).

Yes so am I. Energies can communicate without the need for thought is my point.

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Crowan
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I'm sure they can. But conversation, words of wisdom, asking for help and giving it; these all require thought.

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amy green
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I'm sure they can. But conversation, words of wisdom, asking for help and giving it; these all require thought.

Yes, in humans...I am speaking about in nature. Birds use song to communicate. I doubt if bees or ants use thoughts...bees have a dance they do and ants touch each other's feelers.

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NICE_1
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Therefore what we really seek is connection.

I agree with this be it through a connection of another or be it through a connection with our individual selves . Whats needs be done .

There seems to be the necessity to do what we do even if what we do is nothing .

Perhaps there is a point where nothing is necessary .

x daz x

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