sorry

RE: sorry

Dear la titi

There is no need to apologise for feeling down, we all feel that way sometimes. And it's perfectlyOK to feel vulnerable at the thought that we might not always feel on top of things, or be in control.

Is there anything in particular that you're feeling down about, that you feel like sharing?

Holistic

RE: sorry

Hi La titi

I wish I had some magic words to make you feel better. We all feel like this from time to time, so don't feel bad about it. Sending you lots of love a big hugs! [sm=1kis.gif][sm=grouphug.gif]

With love
Jacquie [sm=love-smiley-009.gif]

RE: sorry

ORIGINAL: la titi

I feel down, sorry for saying it, just need to say it somehow. I hate myself cos i dont want to reckon that i do feel this way. I am just posting as if I were confessing.. well if any one has any more confessions to do .. they are welcome..
sorry .

Aww, big hugs to you, la titi! [sm=grouphug.gif]

RE: sorry

Hi La Titi,

Originally I was going to post saying something alomg the line of Laura's post, but I wonder whether maybe if you chose to do a 'confession style' post, then you could play with that idea a bit.

I feel down, sorry for saying it, just need to say it somehow. I hate myself cos i dont want to reckon that i do feel this way. I am just posting as if I were confessing.

How about writing a letter to yourself about the way you feel? Write everything- even if you feel guilty at the end of the letter, write that! Then, go and sit down somewhere else for a bit and clear your mind. When you're ready, get out some more paper and write a reply. The reply is going to come from your higher self, so just take a while to really connect with the feelings and emotions in your letter and start replying as if it was from your higher self- that wise part of you that knows all the answers.

You don't have to post it here, just an idea.

See what you think [sm=hug.gif]

RE: sorry

La titi, it's hard for me to think of you feeling down, because your avatar really cheers me up whenever I look at it! I don't know if it helps or not, but you are not alone in feeling that way. [sm=grouphug.gif]

RE: sorry

Thanks you all who worried about me. hugs really felt nice. I dont really know why wxactly i feel this way, just up and downs up and owns, and this down is a bit deeper maybe, I am not certain about a lot of things, thats the only thing i know for sure, and it drives me crazy, everyone needs to know what kind of sands are the ones you are walking on and i just doubt it so much, every step, i cant recognise myself, i am not like that!
Azalia, your idea is great, as you know i like writting, i do it a lot, and more if i feel down, normally write about what is happenning, but never thought about trying to reply to myself... i will try . thanks.
Satori, you are so right my avatar is very cheerful, when you said it i looked at it again, and smiled for a while, thanks for reminding me.
Holistic, yes maybe i picked the wrong place to post at first, I didnt quite realize.I think i do want to sahre what is happenning but many things at the time...you know..
specially some preassure on me because i have to make choices and not having other things fixed first it looks even harder to make the right choice, those other things are in my life but i am not the one who´s got to fix them.thats probably the worst part of the game.
it does look like a game, when you are moving pieces but just killing time, because you didnt find out yet what is the final movement..
Jacquie B, well your words have a bit of magic anyway, because i dont actually have any others to hear! thanks you all .
my only good friend here told me today when all hope is lost hold out your hands, cos friends will be friends right til the end, as you know part of a song(queen) of a band i love. he didnt know what to tell me but at least I knew i had him, another smile.my problems still there, but maybe easier to walk if someone try to walk with you.
well... suposse i am going to write to myself..

RE: sorry

Hi La titi,

It's hard to get a grasp on what you're going through because you've alluded to it in vague terms. Nothing wrong with that, btw! 😉

I guess since I don't know specifics, the only advice I can offer is to try to imagine someone else in your situation and see if you might view it differently -- or in your case, maybe a little more clearly? If I was in your situation, what advice would you have for me?

I have found that viewing situations like that can help to achieve the necessary distance and objectivity whenever I find myself too close to get a proper perspective.

Anyway, hope that helps a little! 🙂

RE: sorry

Satori, my mum and dad dont really get on well, this has been going on for years, one expects the other changes, the other one doesnt bother much, he thinks every one is like everyone is and doesnt pay attention to his mistakes because i personally think he doesnt love her enough. he is very selfish,he doesnt even has friends because of it.
she is feeling down a lot and every time more often, i try to help, but i am just part of the family, give my point of view, but i cant certainly act on behalf of any one, she doesnt want me to, but i want her to do something about it as soon as.
I have my own problems, and she looks at them in a negative way, she doesnt mean to but her emotional state takes her to do it. it conditions me a lot. i am in the middle of doing a lot of new things, change my job, start a degree with distance learning, trying to meet people, trying to get to know someone a little bit as well.my brother doesnt like this person much and he brought his comments to her, now she wont give me a chance because she wants to look after me, i understand that. i feel some frustration of everything i try to do getting a new job is not easy, starting a degree gives me to think about my money, we just bought the house it needs some work, who knows if to live in it or to sell it out if my parents do whatever.. i want to move on my own, i dont know if to run away from probs, or cos i need my own space or whatever...write later..

RE: sorry

ORIGINAL: la titi

i want her to do something about it as soon as.
I have my own problems, and she looks at them in a negative way, she doesnt mean to but her emotional state takes her to do it. it conditions me a lot. i am in the middle of doing a lot of new things, change my job, start a degree with distance learning, trying to meet people, trying to get to know someone a little bit as well.

i feel some frustration of everything i try to do getting a new job is not easy, starting a degree gives me to think about my money, we just bought the house it needs some work, who knows if to live in it or to sell it out if my parents do whatever.. i want to move on my own, i dont know if to run away from probs, or cos i need my own space or whatever...write later..

I don't blame you one bit for wanting your mum to do something about her situation. It sounds like she definitely needs to make some changes there, since your dad has no intention of ever changing for anyone. Selfish people usually end up completely alone in the end.

I can kind of relate to what you're going through, although not with parents. I know someone whose marriage has been over for years. He and his wife have been separated for some time now but haven't yet made the decision to divorce (as far as I know). I tried to be there to comfort this person, but instead of being able to uplift him, he and his situation only seemed to drag me down into the muck and mire within which he found himself. Just like the situation with your mom.

And like you, I am trying to get my life on a new track and had hoped I would be a positive influence. At the very least, someone who was supportive and optimistic. But because he refused to be honest with himself and others in his life and make the necessary changes, I had to let him go. He chose to remain in his problems instead of doing something about them. I guess he just wasn't ready to make any permanent changes, and as a result, he just wasn't healthy for me to be around anymore.

It sounds like you need to separate your life from what is going on with your parents' lives, because right now the two are starting to overlap and cause a lot of confusion, which isn't helping anyone. It's hard, but sometimes the best gift we can give someone is to let them face their problems on their own. Sometimes trying to help only prevents them from facing things, and that's not good. It sounds like your mum may be using the idea of looking after your problems as an excuse to avoid her own. 😉 But if you remove yourself from that situation, she'll have to focus on her own issues and finally face them and hopefully make some changes.

Whatever you decide to do, I wish you luck with it. Just know that we are all here for you. And btw, it sounds like you have a lot to look forward to in terms of what you are attempting to create for yourself and your life! Really good stuff coming up, as long as you can keep your positive developments separate from their negative situation. 🙂

RE: sorry

thanks for giving me all this words!!!!
now it doesnt seem like i am mad!
hehe. but , do you think it is good or bad thinking about moving on my own? it troubles me a lot.
it sounds to me like it is going to be good cos i will finally let them fix everything on their own.
but what if i hurt my mum even more cos she will find herself on her own?
do you think it is going to be good for me?I dont want to do the right thing for me only, i want to do something that makes a balance, something that wont let myself down and something that wont be like killing my family´s emotions. as you maybe know my mother specially doesnt have a lot of people to talk to cos we are in a new country now, and thats why she talks to me.
i guess i was wrong when i told her that she had to be ok, cos i wasnt going to pick a man as the same as she did, because i wanted someone who i knew will look after me, and not do his own thing. i never meant any harm, i wanted to give her peace, but now i think abt it and everytime see it worse.i shouldnt have said it!well. i already done it.
you were right when you said like i am trying to live my life apart from my family life problems, i didnt try it before i was always looking for a family thing and never going on if anything appeared in the middle , but not long ago i had decided to try and go on with my life anyways, because i thought i was just hurting myself if i didnt, and wasting lots of good chances life was giving me.
my family is very very important to me, but i dont want to be just a piece of a puzzle, i want to have something to do, time to spend for myself wich i dont have right now, thats why i suddenly stopped writting earlier on. my hobbies are almost nothing right now, apart from writtting when i am going to my bed.
i have a guitar i always wanted, and i have never played it!!
when i think about it, i want to study, i need to work, i want to get my driving license soon, probably going for an intensive course, it all takes time a long while, plus my social life is falling underground!!
this guy i started to see with different eyes a while ago, who knows what is going to happen?i had bad luck in love in the past, and now everyone in my family tries to watch, just in case, but maybe i say no to the right chance...and the train just comes once you know..
well, i had to go and put my eyes on a person with other things as well, like he has a child, but he didnt want it, she just tricked him (as he says)then they are living apart but he is still seeing that wee boy he had he loves him, i think that is good, but dont know her part of the story.
should i believe what he says when his eyes tell me he is saying the truth? even if my mind says maybe he is lieing?he says he loves me he wont hurt me, he is not seeing other women(his ex)
i just dont know...
you are helping me a lot! i really want to say thank you !!!:)
i just dont want to be very ...i dont want to put all my negative part in here, but lately i havent had any other ways to get help in my way up the hill.
lots of loves xxxx

RE: sorry

[ he just wasn't healthy for me to be around anymore. ..

that what you said, really right words to explain it.
my mother has some health problems too and i think that half of them are just cos of him! lots of stress. life in silence doesnt allow you to be yourself but to shut up cos he is there! it doesnt make sense in your own house, does it?
she was taken into hospital not long ago with high blood preassure, apparently from stress, they had to even give her oxygen, i felt so ..
he waited in the waiting area, until he knew it was ok, he thinks everythig is always going to be ok after. i think he will get a fit if one day it doesnt work just like that..

RE: sorry

Holistic, yes maybe i picked the wrong place to post at first, I didnt quite realize.I think i do want to sahre what is happenning but many things at the time...you know..

Dear la titi

There is no "wrong" place. Sometimes there is a better place 😉

Holistic

RE: sorry

ORIGINAL: la titi

thanks for giving me all this words!!!!
now it doesnt seem like i am mad! hehe.

You're very welcome. 😀

but, do you think it is good or bad thinking about moving on my own? it troubles me a lot.
it sounds to me like it is going to be good cos i will finally let them fix everything on their own.
but what if i hurt my mum even more cos she will find herself on her own?
do you think it is going to be good for me?I dont want to do the right thing for me only, i want to do something that makes a balance, something that wont let myself down and something that wont be like killing my family´s emotions. as you maybe know my mother specially doesnt have a lot of people to talk to cos we are in a new country now, and thats why she talks to me.

Yes, I do think it will be good for you to move on. Your parents are both adults, capable of taking care of themselves, whether it appears that way or not right now. You can only live your own life, not someone else's. It's hard but we can't save other people, especially when they refuse our offer to help. You have already done as much as you can for your mum by giving her your honest advice about what she should do. It's up to her to either take that advice or not.

i guess i was wrong when i told her that she had to be ok, cos i wasnt going to pick a man as the same as she did, because i wanted someone who i knew will look after me, and not do his own thing. i never meant any harm, i wanted to give her peace, but now i think abt it and everytime see it worse.i shouldnt have said it!well. i already done it.

We all say things we don't mean at times. I know I have said things that I later regretted, and I know others have said things to me that I know they must have later regretted as well. That's just life. All we can do is acknowledge it and try to do better next time.

you were right when you said like i am trying to live my life apart from my family life problems, i didnt try it before i was always looking for a family thing and never going on if anything appeared in the middle , but not long ago i had decided to try and go on with my life anyways, because i thought i was just hurting myself if i didnt, and wasting lots of good chances life was giving me.

And those were very good instincts you had and are apparently still having. The best teaching is done by example, so maybe when you move on and create good things for yourself and your life, your mother will be inspired to do the same. That's probably the best gift you could give her right now.

my family is very very important to me, but i dont want to be just a piece of a puzzle, i want to have something to do, time to spend for myself wich i dont have right now, thats why i suddenly stopped writting earlier on. my hobbies are almost nothing right now, apart from writtting when i am going to my bed.
i have a guitar i always wanted, and i have never played it!!
when i think about it, i want to study, i need to work, i want to get my driving license soon, probably going for an intensive course, it all takes time a long while, plus my social life is falling underground!!

Ever since you joined this forum, you have revealed a tremendous amount of creativity. And creativity needs to be expressed! Not just the creative expression of music, writing, poetry, and that sort of thing, but the creative expression of your soul -- living your truth in life. Once you find what is true for you (and only you can know what that is, no one else can decide that for you), you need to live it and express it. That's part of your soul's evolution.

It's important to pay attention to what we're creating or not creating in our lives, even in destructive ways. Your parents' creative energy is being expressed in destructive ways right now, which is why it's important for you to get away from that situation. Getting caught up in trying to solve someone else's problems only stifles your own creative ene

RE: sorry

hello!!!
I think I feel a little bit better now...I thought it wasnt going to help me a lot to talk about it but it did!
well,at least I am feeling a bit more confident with what I want to do and with my personal decitions.
I had cleared my mind up a lot in many ways, apart from listening(or reading..)your words and your understanding of the situation, I have spoken to two persons in here, one of them i always talk to him and the otherone, well, cassualty took me to talk to him and my tears just runned out and i couldnt stop them, so i had to say what was happenning, and then we went for a drive and a coffee, he works with me and he mentioned that he notice i look happier when my dad(who works with me too)is not around or is in a different sector of the factory.ireckon it is true.
the feeling of falling deeper and deeper is at least stopped and I only feel i have to go out from a hole.
the job search is going so so, but i know it is not my fault, people cntacted me and i was the one who rejected them because of the salary.the degree is starting to sound better, I got an answer i was waiting for and i am just going to apply and go for it, i need to feel autorealized, and studying is part of it.
I think that my mother is just about to talk to my father and if so it will give me more peace, if she doesnt then, well..i will try to keep my way .
I am going to try and do something to get some privacy in the mean time wich was worring me as well, because i cant just be in my room without someone to come and knock at the door and go in asking whatever, telling me to come down stairs, or to do whatever but being on my own, wich is what i need.
my mother normally does it, because she needs company, she thinks i need it too.
I think any relationship needs time together and time on our own, relationship with friends, family whoever, even with ourselves, to contact with our different levels of beings.
I want a lot of things that are taking time by now, but it will make it worse if i try to get a hurry about it, and i will mistake if so; so i better take it as it comes, but make up my mind about my own business.
about this new person in my life, i would just take it slowly, give me and him more time.
about health in the family, i can just hope for it to improve. I think i should try to keep an eye on me because i am loosing apetite, i feel very weak lately, found work very hard too, i am going to check i am ok with a doctor.
what you explained about creative energy was really good i think.
by moments i feel a lot of things inseide of me trying to come out, but by moments i feel I dont have the time, or the strenght, or i dont know, just feel..different.
I am normally a person who is ok all the time, up and downs as everyone else, but lately these up and downs are lasting hours or days, and it just doesnt seem right, i am smiling a lot and five minutes fter it I find myself crying, and cant try to stop cos it is worse.can´t say the same about getting angry, i dont get angry, i dont know where do i get the patience from but i dont get angry.
should I worry about this changes on my mood ?
lots of loves xxx

RE: sorry

ORIGINAL: la titi

hello!!!
I think I feel a little bit better now...I thought it wasnt going to help me a lot to talk about it but it did!
well,at least I am feeling a bit more confident with what I want to do and with my personal decitions.

Hi! I was just thinking about you. I'm glad you're feeling better now. I have found that talking always helps me too.

I had cleared my mind up a lot in many ways, apart from listening(or reading..)your words and your understanding of the situation, I have spoken to two persons in here, one of them i always talk to him and the other one, well, casually took me to talk to him and my tears just runned out and i couldnt stop them, so i had to say what was happening, and then we went for a drive and a coffee, he works with me and he mentioned that he notice i look happier when my dad(who works with me too)is not around or is in a different sector of the factory.i reckon it is true.

I'm so glad. Oh, I have no doubt that you're much happier when you're away from people who bring you down, such as your dad and your family in general. That must be difficult to work alongside your dad, considering the problems you experience at home with him and your mum.

the feeling of falling deeper and deeper is at least stopped and I only feel i have to go out from a hole.... I want a lot of things that are taking time by now, but it will make it worse if i try to get a hurry about it, and i will mistake if so; so i better take it as it comes, but make up my mind about my own business.

This is wonderful news that you are now at the point where it is merely a matter of getting out of the hole, but I agree with you ... you do need to take things at your own pace. Only you know when the time is right, and since you are in the midst of making very big changes in your life, it's important to take things slowly so you can make the best decisions possible.

I am going to try and do something to get some privacy in the mean time which was worrying me as well, because i cant just be in my room without someone to come and knock at the door and go in asking whatever, telling me to come down stairs, or to do whatever but being on my own, which is what i need.
my mother normally does it, because she needs company, she thinks i need it too.
I think any relationship needs time together and time on our own, relationship with friends, family whoever, even with ourselves, to contact with our different levels of beings.

I couldn't agree more. Everyone needs their space and privacy, as well as closeness with others, and those in healthy relationships should respect the need for both.

about this new person in my life, i would just take it slowly, give me and him more time.

This is very smart, because a lot of what you are going through at home could affect your relationship with this new man as well, and you want to be clear when starting a new relationship. It's also important to take things slow and get to know each other first.

about health in the family, i can just hope for it to improve. I think i should try to keep an eye on me because i am loosing apetite, i feel very weak lately, found work very hard too, i am going to check i am ok with a doctor.

Yes, when under a lot of stress, it's very easy for one's health to suffer, so I'm glad you're going to see a doctor to make sure things are okay with you.

what you explained about creative energy was really good i think.
by moments i feel a lot of things inseide of me trying to come out, but by moments i feel I dont have the time, or the strenght, or i dont know, just feel..different.

That would indicate your energy has been affected by your stressful environment, and it's probably blocked right now. But the more clear you are about what is going on in your life, the decisions you need to make, etc., the more your energy will be freed to move forward towards creating positive th

RE: sorry

[sm=grouphug.gif]I am going to discuss it with the pillow, hehe. this talk was great. you do help a lot. I hope you are well, hugs from here to you in california.:)

RE: sorry

ORIGINAL: la titi

[sm=grouphug.gif] I am going to discuss it with the pillow, hehe.

[sm=jump1.gif]

this talk was great. you do help a lot.

Thank you. Glad I can be of help. [sm=love-smiley-009.gif]

I hope you are well, hugs from here to you in california.:)

Thank you!! Hugs to you too! [sm=grouphug.gif]

RE: sorry

One more thing ...

These are notes I jotted down from a psychic reading a friend of mine gave me many years ago while in a situation similar to yours, and I thought they might help you, because they certainly helped me a lot at the time:

Do you have permission to fully follow, embrace, live, and support your joy?

Whatever you think and whatever you feel attracts more of the same. The more you treasure the riches and abundance inside of you, the more you attract it.

The stronger the joy, the stronger the attracting force. Whatever lights up for you!

The only thing stopping you is your anger, frustration, and the feeling of being trapped and powerless. When things get stuck, it means it is a big power place.

The higher up and the more joyous you get, the more it brings up the negative in strong contrast. But that's only so you can make your choices of how you align and focus your energy.

You are only as powerful as your capacity to perceive, receive, and use your abilities.

Giving thanks dissolves all limitations. The more you give thanks, the more upwelling of that gracious acceptance and joy of your abundance happens, and that's what it's all about.

You can't attract abundance from lack. It defies law. Similarly, you can't attract lack from abundance.

The more you think of what you would love to do, what you would love to be, and what you would love to have -- the more you feel ecstatic joy, passion, or excitement -- the stronger the attracting force is. And if you don't sabotage it, there's no way it can't come in.

[sm=grouphug.gif]

RE: sorry

mhmmm..
it is like the world you know... so small and so big at the same time... you only do bassically what you are capable and what you allow youself to do. you are not more capable than the capable that you are, but you can always make yourself less capable .am I wrong? I hope I understand, I want to!

but thinking and thinking many times i believe one of the most important things in life is balance.what do you think? something like finding the grey in between all the blacks and all the whites.
but when it comes to us, it is really hard between thinking and feeling.
one of my friends told me one day; "follow your heart, but only if your mind says so my friend" somehow i think he is maybe right.
I keep thinking- we really do have a lot in ourselves only, and we are the only ones who can "make it happen" potencially, we are almost anything! is our full own decision to pick what we are going to be and what we are.
during years i fought against time until i learnt it wasnt fighting me back. so, what i was in the past I decided to be it.Time is also out of that decision too(?)sooner or later we are going to be what we are going to be.
self control? .....
I heard that people in critical situations sometimes help themselves to get over it if they really want to , but if they let themselves to the winds...they lose.
have you ever red the book "Veronica decides to die"by paulo coelho?
i just remember of it.. i think that book should be good.

I just made that kind of free writting again..thats all that came to my head and other little tthings in the middle too.could not have been any more honest than that!
the chat is going to somewhere else now maybe but it is all connected! at least in the way I thought about it all.

RE: sorry

ORIGINAL: la titi

mhmmm..
it is like the world you know... so small and so big at the same time... you only do basically what you are capable and what you allow yourself to do. you are not more capable than the capable that you are, but you can always make yourself less capable .am I wrong? I hope I understand, I want to!

but thinking and thinking many times i believe one of the most important things in life is balance.what do you think? something like finding the grey in between all the blacks and all the whites.

Hi La Titi,

You sound really confused and depressed, and admittedly, I can't make much sense out of your post, so please forgive me if I don't seem to understand where you are coming from or if I'm not very helpful as a result.

I thought you had already made your decision to leave your parents to their own mess and focus on your life and what you'd like to create for yourself. You mentioned that being around your parents' situation was starting to affect your health. And you also mentioned a man in your life but needed to give that relationship some time in order to get to know each other better.

Has anything changed since then? Because you are now sounding like you don't know what you want -- or even when you want it. You just sound so very confused and depressed.

but when it comes to us, it is really hard between thinking and feeling.
one of my friends told me one day; "follow your heart, but only if your mind says so my friend" somehow i think he is maybe right.

I'm not sure who you're talking about here. Are you talking about your parents and getting away from them and their messy marriage problems? Are you talking about your new relationship with that man? Or are you talking about you and your goals and nothing else?

I keep thinking- we really do have a lot in ourselves only, and we are the only ones who can "make it happen" potencially, we are almost anything! is our full own decision to pick what we are going to be and what we are.
during years i fought against time until i learnt it wasnt fighting me back. so, what i was in the past I decided to be it.Time is also out of that decision too(?)sooner or later we are going to be what we are going to be.
self control? .....

Are you talking about destiny ... things that are predestined and how much control each of us has in life in terms of what we create for ourselves?

I heard that people in critical situations sometimes help themselves to get over it if they really want to , but if they let themselves to the winds...they lose.
have you ever red the book "Veronica decides to die"by paulo coelho?
i just remember of it.. i think that book should be good.

No, I hadn't ever heard of the book, but I just looked in up on Amazon.com and it appears to be a book about suicide. Are you contemplating suicide now?

I just made that kind of free writing again..thats all that came to my head and other little things in the middle too. could not have been any more honest than that!
the chat is going to somewhere else now maybe but it is all connected! at least in the way I thought about it all.

How is this all connected?

Your comments worry me because you sound so confused and depressed and then you mention a book about suicide. If you'd like to talk this through, I'm here for you. [sm=grouphug.gif]

RE: sorry

hey i am flying, but in a rush i say , no! i wasnt talking about suicide ! sorry if i made you think that!! I´ll come back later and explain myself .oh yes.. in that way i sounded terrible i am sorry!!! i didnt mean it!

RE: sorry

ORIGINAL: la titi

hey i am flying, but in a rush i say , no! i wasnt talking about suicide ! sorry if i made you think that!! I´ll come back later and explain myself .oh yes.. in that way i sounded terrible i am sorry!!! i didnt mean it!

Oh, thank goodness. You had me worried. 😉

I'll look forward to discussing it with you further when you return. 🙂