Hi All
I have not been on here for a long time but my life has changed, not necessarily for the better as I have been put onto Job Seekers Allowance since August 2013. Applying for 16 jobs maximum per week, and still no interview opportunities!! Since the beginning of this week (23/06/2014) I have been getting a lot of calls.
Which is not a bad thing at all apart from deliberately hanging up on them, because when I was 16 years old my so called friends, kept on getting their friends who I did not know to prank call me. By being very aggressive, rude and asking me questions which I found I could not answer. Afterwards they did say it is alright Oliver we were only prank calling you, as your mate is here with me.
But that made me feel fearful, scared, nervous, unsure, uncomfortable and unprepared as I did not know how to answer the difficult questions, and I did not know the other person on the other end of the telephone. What I would like to know is, has anyone had this kind of experience before? and if Yes how did you overcome your feelings of fear when speaking to strangers, on the other end of the telephone?
All the Best,
Oliver
Have you had the problem with answering phones ever since the prank calls from your 'friends' or has it got worse since you went onto JSA and the phone calls became more crucial?
However I suspect its a matter of confidence.........having the confidence that whoever is on the other end of the phone you will be able to deal with them.
I have no similar experience to you, but I think you would benefit from using the Emotional Freedom Technique either to deal with your lack of confidence about answering the phones OR to possibly to deal with a more general lack of confidence caused by not having a job........
It is a very good technique for helping people overcome all sorts of fears....and you look the technique up on You Tube
It is your phone, you have the buttons and control of it. Push come to shove you can disconnect. No big deal.
The person on the other end is just a person, much like you. So similar it is, astounding that we can create reasons to entertain any fear of the other.
I don't have a mobile phone. But your situation can happen over land line, on the PC screen, over forums....endless opportunities!
Fear of the other, they are gonna get you....at the base line. They are fearing exactly the same probably.
Relax. You can X off (disconnect) if you feel uncomfortable. Just because they rang your mobile, you don't automatically become a hostage.
You can disconnect.
Don't bring confidence and other issues into it. Deal with it once, you feel more in control.
Keep it simple.
Don't know the number, don't answer and if you do....it is just a voice. Reading too much into it. Drop the call. Feel the fear and it goes. No more to it.
Some people just don't answer the numbers that they don't recognise.
Taking the view, if they have some real business, they will ring again. You can eliminate unwanted calls and unnecessary intrusion that way.
You are good and you can deal with it. Keep it simple.
Adding to the advice that jnani has given, if the calls are coming through to your mobile, and you don't recognise the number - rather than cut them off, update your voicemail message to say something like "You have reached Oliver......... - I am unable to take your call at this time, so please leave your name, number and short message and I will call you back as soon as I can - thank you" - keep your voice light and cheeful (always look up when you leave a message - and smile - it really helps!!). If it is a prospective employer, they will leave a message, giving you time to check out if they are real - if it's a time waster, they won't.
If someone leaves a message about a prospective job opportunity, then take a few deep cleansing breaths, and return their call. The won't know anything about you, so there is no need to worry, but telephone calls are a good first point of contact.
When my Mum was being treated for PTSD, her therapist told her to imagine that people she had never met before, had a white light around them. She had no idea why, but it seemed to help!
Can you have two SIMS - one for idiots and one for work purposes? Then only give the work number to the likes of JSA and potential employers? Might help to keep it secret that you have a work SIM/number.
Can you have two SIMS - one for idiots and one for work purposes? Then only give the work number to the likes of JSA and potential employers? Might help to keep it secret that you have a work SIM/number.
i vote for this. but te "one for idiots" make my day ahaha