Hi my names Mel and I'm 24. Iv been to doctor after doctor and councillor after councillor nothing seems to help. I have Othello's syndrome, OCD, anxiety, social phobia, body dis morphia I'm a hypochondriac I'm constantly paranoid about everything an everyone. Iv basically begged my doctor for help. He's useless he basically told me I had to grow up the other day! My life is such a struggle. I'm married with 3 children. Iv never worked (always been too terrified) I have NO friends. I struggle to take my eldest daughter to school because of the crowds. I just don't know what to do anymore. I'm finding it hard to even leave the house just lately. I feel like my life is being ruined by my own mind. Iv tried so hard to help myself it jus doesn't seem to help. I feel like I'm going to be like this forever. With the Othello's syndrome it's getting a lot worse. I dont let my husband watch films alone I check every film we watch before he sees them I don't let him watch adverts. I've banned him from seeing his friends I check his phone I don't let him go to bed before me. the list goes on!! Please someone! Give me some advice! Let me know I'm not the only one living this nightmare!!!!
Things like this are never easy on a soul
If you managed to get to the doctors
Then you have the ability to leave the house
This is of course only a single step in life
It really does not matter what a doctor prescribes for you
In the end it will always be up to you to make those steps
You have made a step into looking at the alternatives
And that is why you have found yourself on site
For looking around at the alternatives is you stepping forward
Keep looking around until you find something that feels right for you
Once you find yourself attracted to something, then you can read up on it
For the rule of thumb in our kind of lifestyle is " if it feels right, then it is right"
In the end, there is no magic bullet
Be it a drug from a Doctor
Or giving you an alternative therapy
In the end it is up to you to make that step forward
And have to some belief in what will work for you
For even Doctor's get similar results with placebos and the real drugs
Mel89
Mind is ruining you....it is true statement for everyone. That is always the case without exception. Everybody is a victim of their own mind only.
...then the mind starts losing its hold on you....but its clutch drives you to that extreme that it becomes a necessity for you to break free from this prison. That process is full on. The prison of your own mind is becoming a hell hole. In that hellish 'suffering the desire to end that suffering arises. The idea of freedom arise only when abject slavery is experienced.
Your desire for freedom from your own suffering can only happen when you have been at the very abyss of it. Exhausting the slavery of mind is in full swing. It is a good thing.
Don't go rushing about seeking help. Just trust the process and above all trust your desire to get over it, true help will find you. This chaos is a harbinger of order. Rest in it. this poison holds the nectar at the very core of it. You will know this in time to come.
The way you describe is like you are heading for the rock bottom. Go limp, stop fighting the descend to rock bottom, for if you relax, you come up-naturally and effortlessly. The downward thrust itself pushes you upwards, when there is no more to go.
You are focused on what your mind is doing...which seems all dismal. But even in that desperate state you have a family around you. Live one day one moment at a time. Open up perhaps just a little to the support you have in life.
Find solace. Don't condemn you and what is happening to you. Stay focused on whatever little you think is right about your situation or life. One day at a time. Don't try to live your past and future every moment.
May the hell shift to heaven
Amen
If you can find one near to you, consider seeing a shamanic practitioner.
Your situation sounds awful Mel. But when you say no-one can help what do you mean? Have the ideas they suggested not worked or have they not been able to make any suggestions of how you can be helped?
Your situation is very complex - and there will not be one magic bullet approach. But I am sure the issues you describe can be dealt with individually .
What type of counselling have you had Mel?
Standard counselling is unlikely to be helpful for the level of complexity you describe.
However there are therapies that are much better equipped to help the sort of issues you are experiencing, including CBT, EMDR, EFT and some others. CBT is available free on the NHS but unfortunately some of the therapists don't have the necessary level of experience to deal with complex issues (so if you have tried it and it didn't work this could be the reason, as well as the insufficient length of treatment - these sort of things can take some time).
What self-help approaches have you tried? Is there anything at all that seemed to help even a little bit?
Masha
Hi Mel
First of all big hugs for you for the place you find yourself in. :grouphug:
I assume this vortex has been closing in on you for a while. I am sending you Love, Light and Healing in the hope it will help you to start looking outside yourself and your situation and in the hope you find help from someone who has the skills to help you. It may be a matter of asking for that help from the Universe, if you like, first. There is surely someone who will be able to help - it is just a matter of finding them and that won't happen within your 4 walls.
Just being able to discuss your problems is a start - and it is most unlikely that anyone here will call you a hypochondriac - that is just so cruel. What you feel is very real to you - whatever path has taken your mind to arrive at that situation. In fact I believe hypochondria is banned as a diagnosis these days.
Helping you is likely to be like unpeeling layers of an onion and will take time, but it is not impossible to arrive at a place where you feel totally different about yourself and your situation.
Keep talking and here's hoping for all the best for you.
Hi,
Would it be possible for you to see another Doctor and to ask about anti-depressants/anti-anxiety medication? I'm surprised they haven't suggested this just to calm things down a little / turn the volume down slightly on your anxieties? It might be worth trying as a first step so you can take more little steps....
I've had counselling myself and found it completely useless so can sympathise with that. It's disheartening when you get your hopes up that you are going to get help that way and it makes no difference. But... I agree with Caroline, there is someone or something out there that can help you and you will find them or it. Would also say, don't get too attached to labels "body dysmorphia", "OCD" and "syndromes" - they make you define yourself instead of being yourself.
Hello Mel,
A big hug from me too!
You finish your post with the description of your state of mind as a “nightmare” and yes, that is exactly what it is. So, how do we get out of a nightmare? By realising that we are dreaming, that the dream is not real, is not part of who we really are, and then, waking up. And you can and will.
You’ve had all sorts of good advice and suggestions of various therapies that may help from the lovely people here at HP like this:
I agree with Caroline, there is someone or something out there that can help you and you will find them or it. Would also say, don't get too attached to labels "body dysmorphia", "OCD" and "syndromes" - they make you define yourself instead of being yourself.
Good advice. And now I’m just going to throw something else into the pot, which you can investigate if you wish to.
It may be a matter of asking for that help from the Universe, if you like, first.
Yes, ask for help from whatever you call your sense of a higher power. I personally call it infinite, divine Love, or God.
At every moment we are surrounded by radio waves, bringing navigation, communication, radio and television shows etc., but unless we tune in to them, we are completely unaware that they are there.
A billion trillion miles all around you is infinite Love. You are dearly, dearly loved. You were loved before you were even formed in your mother’s womb. Love enfolds, supports and protects you – and you are one with Love. You are completely safe, now and forever.
Love overcomes fear (as you’ll see from what I share at the end) and gratitude is a very freeing exercise. You have what many women don’t have – a husband and children. You have a home, food, warmth etc – all things you can give gratitude for. Every time a fearful thought tries to take over, expel it with gratitude.
I’ve found a few articles for you to read or listen to (if you wish to), by people who have overcome either extreme anxiety or possessiveness, through prayer.
[url]The elephant's ears assured me I was safe*/*[/url]
[url]Love is like a magic penny*/[/url]
[url]An answer to prayer*/[/url] (this has an audio by the author as well as the text article)
Audio:[url]How can you feel God's presence—no matter what? [/url] Though the two experiences described may not relate to your situation (they were experiences of physical danger) the words at the beginning and end by Margaret Rogers are very special and I hope would help you.
And here are two hymns that I have often prayed with. I used to be an air stewardess and if I had a really fearful passenger, I quite often would copy these words out for them – and would be given a big hug at the end of the flight! 🙂 (You'll need to scroll down past all the hymn numbers)
[url]Everlasting arms of Love[/url]
[url]Mother’s Evening Prayer [/url](based on the 91st Psalm, the Psalm of protection)
And finally, an encouraging promise from the Bible:
II Tim. 1:7);
"God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind'
And from a modern translation:
For the spirit that God has given us does not make us timid; instead, his Spirit fills us with power, love, and self-control. (Good News translation)
Love and peace,
Judy
Hi,
Would it be possible for you to see another Doctor and to ask about anti-depressants/anti-anxiety medication? I'm surprised they haven't suggested this just to calm things down a little / turn the volume down slightly on your anxieties? It might be worth trying as a first step so you can take more little steps....
I've had counselling myself and found it completely useless so can sympathise with that. It's disheartening when you get your hopes up that you are going to get help that way and it makes no difference. But... I agree with Caroline, there is someone or something out there that can help you and you will find them or it. Would also say, don't get too attached to labels "body dysmorphia", "OCD" and "syndromes" - they make you define yourself instead of being yourself.
Oh mouse16, there is counselling techniques and counselling techniques, it is a far better option to investigate this than taking anti-depressants.
there is counselling techniques and counselling techniques
And then there's shamanic counselling.
Oh mouse16, there is counselling techniques and counselling techniques, it is a far better option to investigate this than taking anti-depressants.
Is it though, in Mel's situation? As a first step?. Mel has already tried counsellor after counsellor, and is finding it hard to leave the house (although she has been to the doctors). I didn't mean just going on anti-depressants full stop, I meant perhaps take them, or some kind of anti-anxiety medication, to help with taking the next step, whether it is another kind of counselling technique or whatever else. When you feel less anxious, you can often think more clearly and make a better choice for yourself.
Oh mouse16, there is counselling techniques and counselling techniques, it is a far better option to investigate this than taking anti-depressants.
Despite my profession I am NOT a fan of just taking drugs. I know better than most that they have limitations. But they also have uses and a combination of medical treatment and something like counselling could well be a viable option.
With so many issues I feel it is inevitable a mixed approach will be needed....and that could well include drugs of some sort.
Hi Mel
You say you've seen a lot of counsellors. What was their approach and working methods? As Masha B says, there are different types of counselling, and also many counsellors are poorly trained and/or inexperienced. Did they just sit and listen while you described your problems at length?
An effective counsellor/psychotherapist would need to quickly help you to identify which, out of all your problems, needs the most urgent attention, then tackle that first. He/she would not just sit and passively listen, but would actively teach you ways to help yourself.
Most counsellors in private practice will offer a free initial meeting where you can ask about their working methods etc. In the meantime you should insist that your GP refers you to your local NHS counselling service for CBT and/or EMDR. There will be a long waiting list, so I suggest you look at private practice counselling/therapy in the mean time, if you can afford it. But do shop around.
Hi Mel,
I have sent you a message but I'm not sure that it sent, so I'll use the belt and braces approach!
I suffered with Othello syndrome for a period of around a year following the birth of my second child. It took over my life and could have been my ruin had my wonderful husband not been the man that he is.
In my case, following several visits to several doctors and having been diagnosed at each visit with PND and anxiety (which I didn't feel that I had) I had a simple blood test which revealed hyperthyroidism and vitamin D deficiency.
My thyroid levels are now being controlled with medication (albeit temporarily, pending likely removal of my thyroid gland) and life is much better.
I know that this may not be the case for everyone but it may be worth getting that blood test (make sure that your TSH, T3 and T4 levels are tested).
Please let me know how you are and feel free to message for support - I really do know how you feel. All the very best, Ella