Hi
A friend of mine has recently met a lovely man but who has a few personal problems. In the past he has been in trouble with the law through his drinking and seems to be a bit of a tortured soul, but has a good heart and wants to change. She has stuck by him and is committed to a relationship with him but her family and friends are worried about how it will end up.
Personally, I feel that if her boyfriend has the desire to give up the drinking binges and adopt a more stable lifestyle than he has in the past, with the emotional support she is able to give him he can do it.
Since we read and hear time and time again that we 'should' steer clear of starting relationships with troubled people, I was wondering if anyone here has any happy outcome stories about troubled and unhappy people making a better life for themselves through the love and support of someone who really cares about them.
Sandra
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RE: Any success stories?
Hi Sandra,
Good for your friend! I hope her relationship works out for her.
As to his being troubled - it would depend on why he is troubled,and what led to his drinking. If she sees him improving and gives hom what he emotionally needs, there's no reason why they both can't enjoy a good marriage. My neighbour opposite was an alcoholic, but when she met her (now) husband, she changed for the better. It does work.
Love,
Patsy.
xxxxxxx
RE: Any success stories?
Hi Sandra,
I agree with you, there is a chance that things may improve and that your friends partner can heal. Alcohol problems can be very painful to deal with- for everybody involved, but the very fact that he is prepared to change is very positive. I think that as long as professional help is sought and a variety of treatment options are explored then there is a great opportunity for change. One thing is very important though- it would be completely understandable if your friend felt that she needed to some additional (impartial) professional help, and it might be an idea for her to explore counselling too. No one needs to go through something on their own, and it would be inadvisable for your friend to take onsole responsibilityfor helping her boyfriend.
I wish your friend the very best, and I really hope that she finds avenues to pursue to help her & her partner. Good for you too- such a thoughtful friend for posting here.
RE: Any success stories?
Thanks for your replies. My friend has so much faith in her man's ability to turn his life around its amazing. She seems to deal with the odd slip-up really well, takes it all in her stride and it doesn't even seem to drain her in any way. I'm not sure I could do what she is doing without falling apart. She seems very strong emotionally/spiritually and has been such an inspiration and I have a lot of respect and admiration for them both. I just thought it was nice to see this kind of respect, loyalty and unconditional love because I haven't seen all of these things in adult relationships before.
Sandra
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RE: Any success stories?
What a lovely friend you are:D
RE: Any success stories?
It's a tricky one and he does deserve some support. Identifying what causes the drinking has to be a start although it's not always apparent. I had some binge drinking issues (apparently a bottle of wine is bingeing) and while I didn't pick up a bottle with a point in mind, looking back it was probably because of my background.Ultimately it is your friend's life and while the worry and concern of family and friends is understandable, she will make up her own mind about him.