Men and the Menopau...
 
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Men and the Menopause


fleur
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Just curious.

Does anyone believe that men can have the equivalent of the menopause.....obviously not the cease in menstruation....because thats a biological impossibility....:cool:

But perhaps the male feelings are confusing.....do they realise they have a feeling nature...if so....how do they deal with it. What about the moods swings at that time of life...... What about their sense of direction when arriving at the mid years??

How do the men respond to their women who are on the menopause....??

Comments especially welcome from the male members of a certain age 😉
and younger male members perhaps in relation to the senior women in their lives, mothers, grandmothers, close aunts.

My blokes moody, always has been as long as I've know him (like for-ever), interesting enough he has always been in tune with the moon cycles and watching her pull of the sea tides for his fishing hobby.

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stevehoff
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I do

I defintely belive males go through some form of menopause. I sure have. My life completely changed due to my actions. I felt very confused and lost and took actions that I would not normally have done.

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Badger
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Hello!!!!

Is it the season, just posted somewhere else on this.

Yes Yes Yes.

Two really good friends of mine confirmed a shift on multple levels (physical, perceptual, etc) around the age of 46.

This began for me sometime in the last 12 months.

Sex drive has altered ... still there as much as ever ... but very different. Body has shifted to ... so has perception ... the whole thing is best expressed as a shift in hormones (testosterone) ... the 'edge' is gone ... best expressed (tongue in cheek) as I only think about sex every twenty seconds now instead of every two!!

Having lived it the way I have ... I am glad I 'got it all done' and know have the 'slide' towards a blissful (semi) retirement ... again tongue in cheek but the feeling is there if you get it.

Perceptually, again on many levels, a light got turned on ... (now knowing that this will happen I am glad (mostly) that the stones were turned ... otherwise it would be too late) ... this is a definite shift, and integration of my past "youth" ... a job well and satifyingly done ... so moving on into it is way easier. No regrets, in fact lots of success.

Round Two begins.

Had I gotten it 'wrong' ... I'd be one of those guys chasing it ... looking like an old man trying to pick up 'young ones' ... isn't that the archtype. Now, in the last months my ability to connect with younger women has shifted dramatically, (in my words/imagination) they percieve the wisdom now and look to it. Having 16 y.o. daughters, I realise what I sowed they will reap too ... and that is a huge thing ...

Integrity :: Integrity :: Integrity is ALL!

Divorced Twice ... (very openly and honestly) ... I am glad I held out for what I wanted ... cos I am getting it now.

That is only ONE slice of my point of view/feelings ... I could go on forever.

To ye women ... listen to them (men) more ... if ye can get 'em to speak in the first place!! (Tongue in cheek JOKE!!)

Love

Jim

PS I am told I definately have 'periods' ... and I do love it ... GREAT idea altogether!!

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Conspiritualist
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I believe it's true, I've certainly noticed that at 47 I'm not the same guy I was at 27.
The Hindu belief system has it that here are 4 stages of life for a man, unfortunately I seem to have the last three kinda mixed together as I reckon I did some stuff well before I shoulda and other things are long overdue (and perhaps way too much of one or two indulgences for way too long)


I'm supposed be coming out of 'Grihastha' and moving gracefully into 'Vanaprastha' (the married family man – to – the hermit in retreat)... According to the Laws of Manu - “when a man's skin wrinkles and his hair greys, he should go out into the forest” - hahaha... yeah right...only if I've arranged to meet a 'honey' there with a bottle of brandy and summit nice to smoke! 😉



.

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myarka
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I'm 48, my mind is 18 and I'm fitter than I was 20 years ago.

Men go through changes in mid life because they are confronted with mortality, so it's more psychological than physical.

Myarka.

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Venetian
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IMHO, the answer is "no", and "yes". The "no", we don't have a menopause, is because obviously there are not the same biological changes - though there are some over time such as Badger mentions - and also I'd say that these "changes" are not something fixed to happen at a certain age, or even fixed to happen at all maybe, unlike the female gender. There's been a lot of silly stuff written about the "male menopause", silly IMO because it's actually talking about life-changes, not something fixed to happen at definite ages. Something along the lines of what Roger writes above, on the Hindu concept of stages of life, covers some of the truth - but obviously not everyone goes through those fixed stages, and certainly all men don't suddenly abandon family and wife to become monks at - 60 is it, or 40?

BTW, Fleur you write, "do they realise they have a feeling nature...if so....how do they deal with it." This seems to be the myth that men don't have an emotional side, or if they do, they don't realise it! Frankly some men are a bit like cardboard or think they are, and others among us have very open hearts indeed, always have. To me this isn't too very different from females. It's individuals who differ, not so much stereotyped genders. Of course we do (men) have a mental capacity of some reknown, whereas even my g/f does state that women "only have three thoughts a day".

Really, seriously, this male menopause thing, to me, is partly that inconsequential (to much of life) physical changes may happen gradually, and if you are into doing sport - no, scratch that thought, since pals of mine in their mid-50s are still so fit that they run non-stop as outfield footballers every week and then go on for an evening of badminton! You may notice that keeping fit is something you have to work on, and if you don't then you lose it. But that to me is not the main thing ...

Mainly I think that men (women too though, surely, so this is everybody really) go through periods of re-assessing their life. It can take many forms. Maybe you are used to thinking that all life is ahead of you, and at a certain age you realise over half of life is behind you. So some people may mope at perceived wasted years or lost opportunities, and others get a burst of enthusiasm to "be different" and get important things done. A classic to me might be the career man (or woman) who reaches whatever age, and realises that they've got a house, maybe a pension building up, but haven't lived. So there's a re-assessing which can be negative (regret) or positive (change). For women too. Another classic time must be when the children have left home ... so what's your life about now, then?

I find it hard to slot these things into a neat age though, such as "forties". I've changed all the time, sometimes when pockets of karma have been released and life goes akilter, and sometimes through the building-up of wisdom, so that I step out of pockets I was trapped in when earlier. I think such changes could happen as early as the 30s, or as late as one's 60s, or not at all. Because it's not specific what we are really talking about: just physical changes? Or a change in mood? Anyway to me there's no definite "male menopause" to sum up, just the fact that we all may or may not change at various ages throughout life...

Edit to add: LOL I just saw all that mass of words when posted. :p I was just thinking through my keyboard, but if it were for real publication I'd have to edit that down!!:eek:

V

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Cirrus
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It's individuals who differ, not so much stereotyped genders. Of course we do (men) have a mental capacity of some reknown, whereas even my g/f does state that women "only have three thoughts a day".

:eek::eek: Er....excuse me, Mr V!!!

You ever heard of the 'donkey and carrot' scenario?!

Unless you wish to go hungry, never underestimate a woman! The hand that rocks the cradle......an' all that!!!:p

RxXx

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fleur
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I defintely belive males go through some form of menopause. I sure have. My life completely changed due to my actions. I felt very confused and lost and took actions that I would not normally have done.

So I wonder Steve, do you think your actions were due to your age, or personal growth that would have been inevitable anyway?

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fleur
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To ye women ... listen to them (men) more ... if ye can get 'em to speak in the first place!! (Tongue in cheek JOKE!!)

Love

Jim

PS I am told I definately have 'periods' ... and I do love it ... GREAT idea altogether!!

Nothing to add there Badger only power to ye "weapon" and
:rollaugh::rollaugh::rollaugh:

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fleur
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I believe it's true, I've certainly noticed that at 47 I'm not the same guy I was at 27.
The Hindu belief system has it that here are 4 stages of life for a man, unfortunately I seem to have the last three kinda mixed together as I reckon I did some stuff well before I shoulda and other things are long overdue (and perhaps way too much of one or two indulgences for way too long)

I'm supposed be coming out of 'Grihastha' and moving gracefully into 'Vanaprastha' (the married family man – to – the hermit in retreat)... According to the Laws of Manu - “when a man's skin wrinkles and his hair greys, he should go out into the forest” - hahaha... yeah right...only if I've arranged to meet a 'honey' there with a bottle of brandy and summit nice to smoke! 😉

.

interesting point then from the Hindu perspective the Four stages of Man....I am totally naive regarding Hindu Spirituality....

Someone I know very well must have hit Vanaprashta very young...I am sure he wants to be a hermit 😉

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fleur
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Edit to add: LOL I just saw all that mass of words when posted. :p I was just thinking through my keyboard, but if it were for real publication I'd have to edit that down!!:eek:

V

yes, I read it three times, to let it sink in.......;):D

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fleur
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I know I'm posting lots on here...not worked out this multi quote business:rolleyes:, and how long have I been a member.....:p

Just would like to thank all you gents for humouring me a little, it was interesting reading.

I suppose really a woman has a marker for the menopause, and it may take a few years to get through the physical aspects
(and don't I know it :rolleyes:).

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stevehoff
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So I wonder Steve, do you think your actions were due to your age, or personal growth that would have been inevitable anyway?

I think it may have been a combination. As you age you begin to see less value in what you have thought was valid - and that leads you to question many areas of your life and to take actions that you may later rethink. I also agree with the 'facing your own mortality' and there are things you do that you haven't done in life that you want to try, so you do those too. It takes a very understanding woman to help you through this, and I dont think they can just ignore a man going through this stage, as left alone, he will do things on his own and end up somewhere he wishes he wasn't.

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Supersub
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I've certainly known several friends go through dramatic "midlife crises" - most of which involved leaving their wives (though some of them later returned). Is this a male menopause? I doubt it. The physical symptoms mentioned above (loss of libido, etc) are simply signs of ageing and so are presumably cumulative, ie you don't suddenly lose your sex drive, but it fades gradually. And most midlife crises are, I'm sure, a response to this - "oh my god, I'm getting older, I'd better buy a red sports car and sh** younger women while I still can".

Of course I'm not the same man now that I was 20 or 30 years ago (I hope I've learnt SOMETHING!) but really I'm only halfway - OK, maybe a bit more than halfway - through a journey. Unless something suddenly and unexpectedly drops off, I can't see any irreversible menopausal effects such as my wife has gone through.

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healthuk
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ussually it is in your mind. When you start thinking about it, it starts its work.

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fleur
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ussually it is in your mind. When you start thinking about it, it starts its work.

don't understand this reply????

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Treacle
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I
I suppose really a woman has a marker for the menopause, and it may take a few years to get through the physical aspects
(and don't I know it :rolleyes:).

A woman has a marker?? A woman still never knows when it will happen though. From one extreme to the other, I know a lady who reached 60 before the menopause came around but I also know one who sadly only reached 33 before the dreaded happening!
MENopause - mm!:rolleyes: The only part that gives me trouble me is the first bit.;)

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stevehoff
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it does

Supersub

It does have something to do with a declining sexual desire - and a last chance to fulfill some of the dreams/fantasies a guys has I guess.

I am still going through it

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Learning
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You guys might want to pick up a copy of Ageless by Suzanne Somers. It's about hormones and aging. She interviewed a dozen or so doctors who are experts in the field of anti-aging medicine. Not everything about growing old is inevitable. It used to be "normal aging" for people to lose all their teeth by the time they were in their sixties. Not true today. I have the book and I think there were three or four chapters specifically for men.

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