Temper Tantrums

RE: Temper Tantrums

Dear Petal

Cut out the sticky sweets and fizzy drinks
then if that doesn't work
cut out all sugar

if it only happens in the car could be past life related

i would take her to see a good, very experienced intuitive kinesiologist and give her flower essences when travelling

please keep us informed of her progress

being love

kim xx

RE: Temper Tantrums

Thanks Kim - I don't give her fizzy drinks anyway or buy her sweets. Unfortunately other people have a habit of giving her chocolate and biscuits (my husband included).

The car wasn't the problem - she wanted to go back into my husband's office and I wouldn't let her because she was screaming so she was trying to get out of the car to go anyway. She just loses it - often in a supermarket when I won't buy her sweets. It doesn't seem to matter that I never back down she still goes through the whole routine of throwing herself on the floor, hitting me and screaming etc. When she calms down she's like a different child and you'd think butter wouldn't melt in her mouth.

You'd almost suspect a chemical imbalance the way it comes on so suddenly then vanishes just as quickly. She doesn't seem to be able to control it.
Petal x

RE: Temper Tantrums

Dear Petal

Ok strong willed litle girl

sounds like a 'battle of wills'

But I would still take her to see a kinesiologist

does she have any other indigo symptoms ?

you could try her on some flower essences there is a new range out now just for children. I think they are called 'Indigo Essences'.

being love

Kim x

RE: Temper Tantrums

Hi Kim

She's quite bright but she has an unusual way of speaking. She also tends to transpose things a lot - calls the front the back, confuses up and down. She might say of something really funny that it 'cheered me down'. She's very inquisitive and quite argumentative at times. She loves interacting with people so no signs of autism.

Must go now and tidy up her jigsaw puzzle!
Petal x

RE: Temper Tantrums

Dear Petal

I am not so in touch with the learning side of things but have you had her checked out for dyslexia?

being love

Kim xx

RE: Temper Tantrums

Not yet Kim - as she's not really writing yet I thought it might be too soon to tell.
Petal x

RE: Temper Tantrums

Dear Petal

I don't see why they say they cannot tell at this age, you know her better then I, if you feel this could be the case the sooner you get help the better otherwise she is just going to get even more frustated at school, the kinesiologist could include this in the testing when she tests her for food intolerances.

And I am sure that people have told me in the past they managed to get this done privately in London for their little ones.

This could be the reason her writing is held up? Just a thought! Worth checking out!

being love

kim xx

RE: Temper Tantrums

Kim - think you might be slightly misinformed with the whole dyslexia thing here! The Local Education Authority won't test children under the age of seven for dyslexia. Many a parent has had a battle with that one.

Unfortunately children and supermarkets are just not a good mix![:@] Some children are very strong-willed and will kick up a fuss over stuff whilst others never do it. I don't think you should attach too much to it as it may well just be something she is going through.

It is worth checking for food sensitivites though and not just sweets and fizzy drinks. It could be anything.

Good luck, I feel for you, one of my twins was a nightmare and is only just improving now at the age of 12 and a half and he still kicks off at times. Surprise, surprise, he tested positive for MSG and E additives.

RE: Temper Tantrums

Dear Candie

Yes I am aware, but as I said one can get it done privately in London as I have met people who done this with their little ones.

being love

Kim, xx

RE: Temper Tantrums

Hi Petal,
You might like to try out the book "Toddler Taming" by Christopher Green. We used it all the time when nipper* was about 4 and used to throw wobblies a lot. Dr Green is an Aussie paediatrician and gives great advice.
Incidentally, tantrums do go by themselves in the end. You don't get many 16 year olds lying on the floor and drumming their heels!!!!! 😀

Love
Jonathan

* IOW for son

RE: Temper Tantrums

i had exactly the same thing with my son and all i did was ignore him TOTALLY.
dont touch her, dont talk to her, dont go anywhere near her until its over then just treat her normally, i know this will be extremely difficult if you are out but its the only thing that works.
The problem is by giving her any from of attention you are letting her win and she will do it again.
it only took two weeks for my sons to stop when i started doing this and he hasn't had another one since

RE: Temper Tantrums

Hi,

I just joined this forum today to see if I could get any advise on the tantrums my daughter is having.
I was amazed to find out that Petal is having similar problems with her daughter - maybe we could swap ideas and things that seem to help.
My daughter is 4 and a half and incredibly bright (her nusery tells me she picks up the work very very easily and has a huge vocabulary and can hold a very adult conversation).
Her Father and I split up shortly after her third birthday after a long violent relationship. In the later months Lauren was becoming increasingly aware of her fathers behaviour.
Although she has always kicked up a fuss when she has not got her own way - recently it has been becoming worse. This is not just been for me but also for my mum who she always got on fantastically with, and at nursery school.
We have tried taking treats away from her - like last week she was not allowed to go on the school trip to the farm because of her behaviour. She was upset when she was told she could not go but then had a major tantrum deliberatly destroying my plants in the process.
I have thought of so many things that could be causing this.
1 - I am aware that during their visits her Dad will speak to Lauren about myself and her grandmother in a derogitory way, and so now I limit his visits. I know that from the years I was with him he is very good at making you think untrue things are true - afterall for a while I believed it was my fault he was violent. Yet how do you stop a little girl who loves her Daddy from seeing him?
2 - I have a new relationship with an older man that is slowly becoming more and more involved in our family life - could she think I'm choosing him over her?
3 - Maybe she is bored - if she is a bright as the teachers tell me maybe she is not getting enough mental stimulation - she is in private nusery care all day whilst I work and her teachers do give her extra work and little tasks and jobs to keep her active.
4 - her father thinks that I leave her at nursey too long and don't pay her enough attention and it's her way of crying out for it. I do care for my daughter and try to include fun things in our week. We have dinner together every evening and chat about things, watch tv, read books and play with her toys. She is learning to write and everyday we look at how she is improving. Yes I work but I have to - to keep myself and my daughter her father does not contribute.
I am at my wits end I am so worried about this behaviour which occurs at least once in every 24 hour period.
It's often in the middle of the night when she wants to sleep with me in my bed. This is my only haven my space and I will not allow it - I however can be up for 3 or 4 hours during the night whilst Lauren will fight for it. Which does not help when I'm at work the next day.
I can not just leave her to scream because she destroys things or hurts herself or me.
This morning she did not want to get ready for school so she had a tantrum when I tried to get her ready she grabbed my hear and pulled and kicked me in the face. She was screaming that she hated me and I did not care about her.
I have on occasion lost my temper and smacked her - I get upset when I realise that I can't control my temper enough to deal with this and I do not want to be in the position of smacking her again.
I have tried putting her outside in the cool air.
I have tried distraction techniques.
I have tried putting her in the bath - this used to work to calm her when she was younger.
I have tried removing treats and days out.
I have hadto, on many occasions, retrain her to avoid her hurting me or herself.
I do think that now I need to see a doctor.
My partner (he is a father of three) has only just recently seen the full force of one of her tantrums and thinks that they are at an abnormal level and I am not doing anything wrong I just need help.
I understand she has been through a lot for a young child and I just want her to be happy but she is not and I don't know how to help her.
I would appriecia

RE: Temper Tantrums

Hi Evie,

You are in a very difficult situation and I agree - your daughter needs to see a doctor or a child psychologist.

The only thing I would like to add that in my experience children with similar behaviour problems often respond well to reflexology.

A gentle massage with a relaxing aromatherapy oil, such as roman camomile before bedtime can be helpful at night. I have also noticed that massage 'given' in a playful way by the child to the parent can have similar benefit to the child.

Not to mention the the positive effects on the bonding process between mother and child.

A

RE: Temper Tantrums

Hi Evie

Petal here (I had problems logging in under my old name). I'm sorry I haven't replied - have only just seen your post.

I really feel for you, having had similar problems to deal with. Isn't it a relief when someone else actually witnesses these "superstrops"? I'm sure that my mother and sister-in-law thought I was exaggerating until my poor sister-in-law tried to stop Brooke running in the sea one day. She was adamant that she was going in there despite it being the middle of winter, and my sister-in-law had to haul her kicking and screaming away from the water. She carried on for another 15 minutes before it passed.

I still don't know the answer, but I don't think you should feel guilty as I'm sure there's nothing you can do about it. More and more children, especially girls, seem to be having like this and I can't help but wonder whether it's something environmental (perhaps something in food even) that's making young children act so strangely. Having said that, my daughter is often bad when she hasn't eaten for a while, so perhaps it's a blood sugar thing. It's almost like a toddler version of PMS!

It does seem as though your exes attitude towards you and your mum isn't helping, but all you can do about that is keep telling her how much you love her.

Feel free to email me if you want to chat.
Donna x