Hi All
Im sure alot of you can relate to your children not wanting to do their homework! but we are having real problems with our son he is 10 yrs old he finds school very hard and he is now in year 6 last year of Primary and is having homework everyday, he is starting to become really stressed before homework and doesnt seem to want to try I sit and help him but feels like its my homework but what is bothering us he is starting to get the shakes so he cant write and cries, I feel for him but I know as he carries on with school life this is not going to get easier and he needs to get used to doing homework on his own, the frustrating bit is he seems to be pleasing the teacher at school and getting praised but at home he is so stressed.
Any ideas welcomed I hate to see him suffer he is so sensitive Thank you Clareyangel x
Hi Clareyangel,
I sympathise with you and your son. I also have a child in year six and one year 3. Homework is given every day and reading on top.
The kids obviously prefer to switch on the tv, but I have just about managed their expectation that homework will be tackled first. It hasn't been easy and we have had tears etc along the way.
Things that have helped me were key stage workbooks (my kids love filling in the answers, it's not quite the same as homework), educational games on the internet. Keep going with the routine and praise, incentives.
Discuss it with his teacher, I'm sure they will be sympathetic, especially if they know the work is being tackled. My daughter admits to feeling good when it's out of the way. My trouble now is it to get her to make an extra special effort, make it neat and remember to hand it in, on time.
I can't think of anything else other than chatting to him about his fear.
Even I get stressed as a parent over the homework issue, as many of my friends do too.
Hope some of that helps and best wishes.
Peppermint
Perhaps breaking it down in little chunks might help, such as 10-15 minutes spread out over the evening so it seems less daunting to do, and hecho wait peppermint's ideas too.:)
warmest wishes- calla lily x
Thank you yes we have a star chart that helps so he can earn a treat if he does his homework and is good that seems to work, but thank you for advice will look more into those books, and we tried spacing it out last night he did a bit then took the dog out with hubby then carried on seem to help a bit but he just shakes so much and stresses.
Thank you for advice both of you 🙂 x
It sounds to me like it's a bit more than just not wanting to do the homework, but he could be suffering from some form of performance anxiety / fear of failure? If that's the case, it's worth addressing that (possibly with professional help) sooner rather than later.
It sounds to me like it's a bit more than just not wanting to do the homework, but he could be suffering from some form of performance anxiety / fear of failure? If that's the case, it's worth addressing that (possibly with professional help) sooner rather than later.
Pinky1976 helped me remember something from an inset day at school (I'm not a teacher). We had a speech given by an outside speaker. I think his name was Will Ord. Anyway, from what I remember it was about types of children, those who have a 'fear of failure' and 'those who use the failure as a means of learning and success'. I know how much it seemed to ring true with my kids, one fitting in each group. Since then I try to turn around any failure into, what can we do to create a different outcome etc. It helps.
I'm sure there is some help out there, even health visitors can make suggestions and referrals.
Best wishes
Peppermint
Hi, maybe this would help:
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Hi ClareyAngel
This must be heartbreaking - so difficult to watch your baby shake in fear and struggle.
Couple of things to add to the already excellent advice:
Brain Gym really helps kids relax and focus - I used to have mine doing cross crawls every morning before school. It really helped. You could try it when he returns from school, too. My feeling is that the transition between home and school can be a stressful one and Brain Gym can help with that too. For home use the excellent teachers book is fab ... and the child's book is very graphic and easy to understand for kids. Find it at Amazon or Cygnus Books.
EFT is excellent for children with anxiety. They seem to really take to it - and then they teach their friends too, so you'd be doing the whole class a favour! You can find more information and a local qualified practitioner at AAMET.org
Hope this helps!
Fx
Thank you for everyones advice which I will take on board 🙂 since writing this post we have been to see a professional who is going into school to help Thomas and his anxiety he is also having people go to the school to help with the change in different school in Sep as he will be starting secondary.
Thank you again Clareyangel xx
Hello. I am a children therapist. What you wrote shows me a possibility of ADHD. Did you consult your GP or pediatrician? I would recommend to look for a neurofeedback therapy. If you want to know what it is, google for neurofeedback or visit www.neurofeedback-practice.co.uk
I am a very experienced child therapist. If you want to get more information, I am pleased to invite you to get in contact with me. Probably I can give you very useful advises? However, please be aware that you are not alone with this problem and that there are lots of possibilities to help 🙂
Greetings,
Peer