I wonder how much the postcode lottery affects our experiences then?
I wonder how much the postcode lottery affects our experiences then?
In terms of council policies, possibly. In terms of people's attitudes, not a lot.
But surely someone in a SW1 postcode may just decide to pay for care whereas a person in E1 may be working so hard they cannot take time to care or afford to pay for it?
Are you saying that attitudes are irrelevant?
Think of the situation with children or spouses who are not elderly who need non-medical care. Regardless of postcode (and there can be wide differences in income within a postcode), most will be cared for at home. Why is this not the same with the elderly?
Crowan, from my experiences it is Adult Social Services that usually make the decision and it is for health and safety reasons and they often take the decision away from the family or the patient.
When an elderly relative is cared for in their own home it is usually funded and organised by the NHS but there is a point where it is more cost effective for them to place all the elderly that need care into a home in one place than have many carers travelling from home to home.
People are also living longer, surviving disease and illness and stroke, alive but in a debilitating state. It is very hard for families to cope with the kind of care needed even with the maximum amount of professional carers visiting (two people four times a day).
I was off topic till saw your post above Cascara, OMG it is going to be like the Nazis rounding up the Jews, 'bring out your old folk' they will rip out teeth and then throw them in the furnaces.
Crowan I agree with you, families should take care of their elderly, they do this in Spain often even if they have medical problems and not just frail. I know of people complaining about the care home their parent is in and I think if it is so bad why the heck are they not at home with you? Sadly in many cases just too much of an inconvenience.
Maybe that's it - that our desire for "convenience" affects how we care for our elderly just as it affects what food we buy and how we care for the planet. Depressing, isn't it?
I think a similar thing happens at the other end of life, with breastfeeding - we know it's best but it's inconvenient. It's also seen as difficult - even by "experts" - and so we are discouraged and not supported as we could be. When Mum lived with us I was constantly being told, "You won't cope for long. You should be looking at homes for her now, so everything is set up when you need her to go." That's not support. It's the opposite.
Well said Crowan, good for you.
I am thinking wouldn't it solve so many problems if we could be born old and grow young!! Babies don't risk a smack round the gob if they pee themselves...
I don't think I'd trust anyone who would hit an old person not to hit a baby.
families should take care of their elderly, they do this in Spain often even if they have medical problems and not just frail. I know of people complaining about the care home their parent is in and I think if it is so bad why the heck are they not at home with you? Sadly in many cases just too much of an inconvenience.
I have to take issue with this. Have you ever cared for anyone? Have you been in the situation where you have to put a relative into the hands of someone else with more time, expertise or strength?
Have you ever been into a nursing care home or dementia nursing home?
I have to take issue with this. Have you ever cared for anyone? Have you been in the situation where you have to put a relative into the hands of someone else with more time, expertise or strength?
Have you ever been into a nursing care home or dementia nursing home?
Don't take issue Cascara there is no need, of course I understand there are always extremes in this kind of situation.
Cassie, you make a good point.
Whilst everybody, I'm sure, would like to think that it would all be ideal, and their elderly relatives could be cared for at home with them, the reality is that 'family life' just aint what it used to be. Long gone are the days of the man going out to work and the woman staying at home caring for the home, kids and relatives. Nowadays, especially with the economic needs and high cost of living that many seem to want, it requires both parents to be out at work, juggling their work with kids, scrimping and saving to cater for the various expenses put on us by governments and suchlike. For many people, certainly in the UK, it's just unfeasible to consider being a full time carer at home.
Sure, there are many people who do give up jobs to care for relatives, or those who care for their relatives whilst they only need temporary care, but there's a lot of commitment needed, and lot of time given up, and as Cassie says, there are places out there that are trained and run for caring for people 24/7 (obviously excepting the poor care homes that hit the media every now and then).
My step grandmother (mum's step mum) is in a care home... being looked after wonderfully. She's had to give up her own home to cover the costs (bearing in mind the 24K threshold permitted), but she just wouldn't have got that level of care without doing so. Are her children and step children moaning about the fact they have no home to inherit... no... they already have their own lives and are responsible for themselves.
I'm sure most parents want to leave something for their kids, but the reality is that most kids (except the obvious greedy ones) are typically going to be at a stage in their lives where they don't desire such things, and would rather have their parents. Of course, every situation is different. e.g. there can be kids who've had a tough time and it would be great to be left something by their parents... but should they expect that to be a definite case?
All Love and Reiki Hugs
There is an article in the Guardian today – here – about a really good care home. Yes, they do exist. But they are in the minority. Quoted in the article is: “30% are pretty good, quite a lot are OK and 20% are not good at all.” I’m also aware that many elderly people do not have a loving family to take care of them.
And yes, Cascara, I have seen several care homes. And I have cared for someone. It’s part of life. I’m still of the opinion that more people could, and would, look after their relatives (or even friends) if they thought it was an acceptable thing to do.
That article is about a care home, not a nursing care home. The people in it all seem to be pretty mobile.
I don't agree that people think it is unacceptable to care for their relatives at home. I re-state the fact that many are unable to be cared for at home and would not be able to go into a care home, they need a nursing care home.
Advanced Dementia and Alzheimers are difficult to care for at home too without turning the home into Fort Knox with safety measures everywhere, especially if the sufferer is mobile.
Of course the standards vary and it is very hard to actually get that to change. There is a lot of minor bribery and corruption in the assessment process that needs to be fought against. And jeepers £500 a week is nothing, but then as I said before the care home in the article is pretty basic albeit with a seemingly caring environment and staff.
Some things that I have learnt, if the care home has visiting hours, walk away and do not go there. The care home should be able to cope with visitors at any time (within reason obviously) and not have set times when the residents are put on parade. Visit every care home you can and more than once too before making any decision. But of course that is all a luxury because if Social Services take over they make the choice.
But it is not so easy to blow the whistle on bad practice or problems, the resident risks being evicted or worse! So the complaint system needs to be overhauled and really independent assessors put in place that are accessible to the families and residents without fear of reprisals.
That article is about a care home, not a nursing care home. The people in it all seem to be pretty mobile.
I quote from the article: "Most residents have dementia."
Are you really saying that most people want to care for their elderly, but it is not possible? Because most people I know have no intention of doing so. And a few do - regardless of whether the elderly person has dementia or not.
Surely the attitude of society as a whole - that this is difficult and unachievable - must play a part.
Well then, lol, between us we obviously have very different sets of people that we know. Perhaps the age of these 'people' come into it too?
Financial considerations can be a reason too. The relative would most probably not be allowed to pay the family carer and carer's allowance is a pittance for the work done. It all depends on who owns the property the caring is done in.
I can't speak for society in general only my minor contacts with it, and that is perhaps what make my opinion? I am in contact with other carers, elderly people, social services and care homes. In reality very few people want their relatives in a care home. However, the residential care homes rather than nursing care homes do have a different logic. For the most part the residents are more active and need minor caring not nursing. Of course the personality of the elderly person has a strong bearing on the caring aspect too, some old cumudgeon that is filled with hate and bitterness and resentful of needing care is more likely to end up in a care home situation that the sweet little old lady?
It is all very subjective and of course some families choose to make the decision to sell the elderly relatives home and put them into a care home, especially if they have a lasting power of attorney.