  NICE_1 (daz) if I win the lotto I will be in touch because like you a home was lost in our family because of the CSA.
Thats nice of you to say Jeannie, I think you actually mean it lols ...
good luck in that case hahah
x daz x
I posted on a situation in this country that is totally and absolutely unfair, and I was surprised to then see silly comments such as am I jealous of my friend etc., How can people say such things and miss the point of my posting? No wonder this country is in such a state with such blasé attitudes.
Well, I'm sorry you read it as "silly comments" and "blasé attitudes" Jeannie... You obviously missed where I said "and I don't mean this offensively, I'm just putting a viewpoint to you"... so I can only assume you're fixed on your own viewpoint and not interested in considering other possibilities that may, just may (I'm not saying for definite) help you to consider things from a different mindset and look at your own situation more positively.
Firstly to those who could only comment that I was possibly jealous of a friend being able to spend her money while I struggled, really struggled to pay a mortgage also once losing a home through crazily rising interest rates in the late eighties. However there is/was no friend as such, this term was just used to bring the diabolical matter in our country to appear more personal. I could have and maybe I should have just said people.
Well, fiction serves no purpose in dealing with reality I'm afraid. What's the point in stating that it's unfair that a "friend" is able to do such and such, whilst you can't, if there is not really such a friend? Doesn't that just add fuel to a self created fire?
It was also mentioned care has to be paid for and what do I suggest this is a flippant comment there is no getting away from it. It is so wrong to expect many people like myself to have spent nigh on 30 years of their life in a financial struggle to pay a mortgage, not some fantastic home either, far from it, our mortgage was also taken as an insurance policy for our son who I have mentioned is not in great health, we needed to know he would have a little security. Of course up until a few short years ago we did not have any idea that if care was needed that this security would be stolen. There are no two ways about this it would be stolen. If only we had been in a position to also take life insurance but we could not afford both and we stupidly thought he will have the house, this is something tangible we can leave him to ease his struggles.
It's certainly not a flippant comment. Care homes are a business, not some free commodity... they've never been a free commodity. It's as if you're saying "We've worked hard to make lots of money/assets, and now we want to keep those assets within the family, and let someone else pay for our care". Unfortunately, life has never been free, when it comes to economic security... if only it could be. You have still apparently ignored the point that myself and cascara have made that there is a threshold on your savings/assets that are not touched... currently around £24,000, and apparently increasing dramatically from what cascara has posted.
Also unlike some we were never in a financial position to take out provisions for possible care, the people who think this is an easy thing for everyone are in cloud cuckoo land. Then there was the comment about years ago people would have to go in work houses. Then the suggestion we should rent and fritter our money away now, when you are in your 60s you need to be settled and it is not an option to take. Folk who make comments like this sicken me.
Sorry you took it that way... there are many people who do retire and sell up their house and spend their retirement spending all their money on cruises and holidays etc. or they start to distribute their money to their children so that there won't be any inheritance tax for them to pay when the time comes... people do all sorts of things. However, if you think you can hold onto your assets and not have them considered (considering the threshold as well) when you want to seek benefits and care from the government, then that is unfortunately an oversight... it's not something new, and has always been the case. I guess you could say it's all a form of taxation, something that has been going on since doomsday.
I thank those who can see and have commented sensibly on a situation in this country that needs to be changed.
Don't get me wrong, I agree with you that there is much to be changed, and much that is wrong in the way the government does things... but have we EVER had a government that has done everything right? ... No... because life and economics are too complicated for any government to sort out for everyone to be happy. The very nature of economics is that some will gain at another's expense. It's not right, but whilst we life in a life of economics of money... it cannot be changed, it can only keep swinging about in favour of one or another; somebody always being unhappy.
Regardless of what you think of the comments made, they were made with the best of intentions of giving a wider viewpoint, and certainly not intended to offend. You probably think I'm someone who's well off, who doesn't have to be concerned with such matters... that's not the case. I went from living in a rented flat with my girlfriend, freezing in winter as we couldn't afford to feed the electricity meter (literally there was ice on the windows, and mould growing on the walls, and we had to boil the kettle to have hot water to wash with), scraping down the back of the sofa to see if we could find a few lost coins to pay for the cheapest loaf of bread we could get so we didn't starve, eventually finding a temporary job, on the lowest of wages, and then trying to support my partner who was still studying at university, so that she could actually finish her course, working my butt off to prove I was good at my job so that I could eventually get a permanent position, losing my job through redundancy, eventually finding another job, working hard to prove my place in the company to get promoted and earn enough money to carry on supporting us both, after many years of scrimping and saving, eventually getting enough to get a mortgage so we could have a home, and still working hard to get that mortgage paid off (with all the pitfalls of endowment mortgages and other things on the way), and we, like you, will come to the point where we need to consider what happens to our assets. I accept that there is no doubt the government or whoever will do what they can to squeeze as much out of us as they can, and I accept that it isn't right, and will certainly look for ways to protect that money and assets as much as possible; but I also recognise that my life is not about an attachment to the material things... I've been before without them, and carried on living, and I cannot take them with me when I die, but I can certainly seek to find ways to ensure that whatever I do have now can go to others who may need it. No doubt the government will screw me and my partner over as they do with all others, as they already have done in many ways with pensions and pay in relation to my job, but I will do what I can to make sure those around me have what they need, even if that is simply my love.
It's saddening to see that you believe your house is everything to you... and to your son... As I said in my first post I'm certainly not saying it's "right" that people have to sell their homes to pay for their care, but I've seen this with my own relatives in the past and even now, and we would rather they have the chance of being cared for than worrying about what they can leave us as a legacy. When my Grandma died just over a year ago, she left me some money... just £50... ... I had expected nothing. My own parents are making plans for what will happen to their own assets etc. though if it's necessary to use those assets to pay for their care, then that is what is important, that they receive the care they need, not that I (or my brother) get anything.
So... just a question to you, out of interest...
If you do go into care, to the point that you know you won't return home, and you're not looked after by your son or other relatives at home, why is your home so important any more? I know you said you want to leave something for your son... but what does your son want... you to be cared for or some asset for himself?
With best intentions...
All Love and Reiki Hugs
It was also mentioned ‘care has to be paid for and what do I suggest’ this is a flippant comment there is no getting away from it.
No, it wasn't a flippant comment. It was a question.
I don't know how much you all know about the care system. I was thrown in the deep end when my dad had a stroke and needed 24/7 nursing care. There is also NHS Nursing care and NHS Continuing healthcare, both government funded for people that need either special nursing care or care to keep them alive.
From what I can tell we all know about the problems facing us when we get older if we need care from outside the family? So we can plan accordingly, although I was warned that the social services do investigate if they think that money is diverted from care solely for the purposes of avoiding paying.
Property is not the peach it used to be, it can be a burden and the value can be worthless if it cannot be sold easily or legally.
There may not be that many members on HP around an age where my kind of Post is going to have any interest. If there is then please share your views...
We (husband and I) have over the past few years thought about things you just dont think about when younger! We only ever had one child (grown, married, divorced) he is not in great health, nothing serious thank goodness but we wanted to try an ensure we would be able to leave him something when we are no longer here so we really struggled to pay a mortgage to buy a house...we could have stayed in a rented council house all our lives, had holidays, drank, smoked, fritted our money away, but no we were sure our own home would be far more secure.
Does anyone realise just how this Government can then come along and steal from you? literally steal the very home and any money you may have struggled to pay for over 25 years. This is the case if one person only is living and needing care. Words fail me on this matter, my friend, same age is in that long term rented council house, if she needs care, she gets it, if I need care (will shoot myself first) then I have to give the Government thousands and thousands, they would literally take every penny I have and then only give me in return something around £20 a week. This is living in the dark ages, this is incomprehensible, this is giving me deep emotional frustration I just dont understand how people are not marching through the streets every week of the year at this outrageous situation.
I just cant accept this outright theft, there must be something some loophole where they just cant completely get away with this surely something can be done about it? SURELY!
In my opinion, the government should restructure the program of helping the patients. It looks like the government is taking undue advantage of our condition. Most of the times you would find that the person taking the benefit of scheme is also suffering from it. The government should bring in the concept of affordable housing because their are many people who [url]are looking[/url] for small houses.
For goodness sake Energyiz it goes without saying that my son would want the best for me in whatever situation. But this is something WE want (husband and I) this was our insurance policy for our son, this is why we struggled, did without etc., etc., etc., At the end of the day let us stop treating this diabolical matter like it just relates to me, I only used ‘me’ as an example. This is a countrywide disgrace, one of which not all people are aware. We have supposed to have moved on but it is basically just like the dark ages and it is just downright wrong making one group of people pay for ‘so-called care’ and others do not.
This is the last thing I want to say on this subject other than it astonishes me how some people have been so defensive. How are we not all taking to the streets to highlight this 21st Century abomination and as for keeping 20 odd thousand pounds, believe me if you do get dragged kicking and screaming in to a care home you get to keep zilch! Our money just gets stolen...all of it.
Thats nice of you to say Jeannie, I think you actually mean it lols ...
good luck in that case hahah
x daz x
I certainly do mean it! Watch this space...
I don't think any one has been defensive. I certainly haven't been. I simply asked a question that you do not seem to want to answer.
For goodness sake Energyiz it goes without saying that my son would want the best for me in whatever situation. But this is something WE want (husband and I) this was our insurance policy for our son, this is why we struggled, did without etc., etc., etc.,
It was YOUR choice - no-one made you take the decision. LOTS of people make choices and then realise things are not going to work out as they planned...its called 'life'
I am not unsympathetic to what you are saying. As I said I have seen BOTH sides of this argument. But care DOES have to be paid for somehow and the health and social care budget is stretched too thin anyway. So how would YOU finance care if YOU were in charge? What would you STOP paying for so that free care for all could be achieved? The changes Crowan has already mentioned will mean that people will NOT have to sell their houses to pay for care in old age. We will all have to take out insurance policies. That seems to me to be a reasonable option.
I'm still not sure which group of people are not paying for it. The last example you gave was a fictional 'friend'.
You talk as if this is something new, that something has changed recently... well... it's not.... it's always been like this. People have to pay for things, and very little is given for free.
All Love and Reiki Hugs
It was YOUR choice - no-one made you take the decision. LOTS of people make choices and then realise things are not going to work out as they planned...its called 'life'.
A choice made 30 odd years ago when no indication was given to this possibility arising in the future. Maybe if Building Societies knew then that this situation could arise it would have been good to tell potential mortgage borrowers 'bear in mind once you have paid for your home and reach old age and possibly become infirm, the government will take your home from you to pay for this' Maybe then we could have thought about consequences and choices.
I'm still not sure which group of people are not paying for it. The last example you gave was a fictional 'friend'.
You talk as if this is something new, that something has changed recently... well... it's not.... it's always been like this. People have to pay for things, and very little is given for free.
All Love and Reiki Hugs
Surely I have made it clear which group of people! Those that decide to rent opposed to buying. Where is the 'off topic' smiley!
Somehow it has become the norm for the elderly to go into care rather than be looked after at home. I know there have always been some without family - as has been mentioned they would end their lives in a workhouse - but it seems odd to me that the majority of those who cannot look after themselves rely on paid strangers rather than family. It can't be that families care less now than they used to, can it?
Crowan, from my experiences it is Adult Social Services that usually make the decision and it is for health and safety reasons and they often take the decision away from the family or the patient.
When an elderly relative is cared for in their own home it is usually funded and organised by the NHS but there is a point where it is more cost effective for them to place all the elderly that need care into a home in one place than have many carers travelling from home to home.
People are also living longer, surviving disease and illness and stroke, alive but in a debilitating state. It is very hard for families to cope with the kind of care needed even with the maximum amount of professional carers visiting (two people four times a day).
Crowan, from my experiences it is Adult Social Services that usually make the decision and it is for health and safety reasons and they often take the decision away from the family or the patient.
I find it hard to believe that, with councils struggling for money, they OFTEN override a family who wants to care for (let us say) parents. Yes, it's considered "easier" for people to be looked after in a residential place rather than at home. But I was really thinking of the numbers of people I've spoken to who will not entertain the idea that they might (in the future) wish to take care of the parents who took care of them as a child.
It used to be that children with disabilities would be put into a home almost automatically. Now, most are kept within the family. This has come about through a change of attitude over the last fifty years or so. It could happen with our attitudes to the elderly.If we wanted it to.