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middlepillar
Posts: 2
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(@middlepillar)
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Joined: 9 years ago

Hi I am a new member seeking quidance, have already turned to numerous places without gaining any appropriate guidance so I hope I am in the right place here.

For nearly a year now my boyfriend has suffered with nightmares which end in a wet dream. I have seen him thrash around and express discomfort while dreaming and wakes drained of all energy, life and soul.

At points it became so bad he turned to habitual use of drugs to aid sleep. Recently he went through a detox which he has done brilliantly at and has not used in over 3 weeks however the nightmares have returned (happening twice last night) leaving him more drained and ill feeling than ever.

It may be worth noting that there was some concurrence with the start of this happening and some involvement in the past with (esoteric) mystery school.

He is a Father and businessman. These occurances are extremely draining in every manner; physically, spiritually and emotionally and take the day from beneath his feet so in need of help and advice.

Thanks

11 Replies
CarolineN
Posts: 4760
(@carolinen)
Famed Member
Joined: 13 years ago

Hello middlepillar - welcome to Healthypages.

This situation must be distressing for both of you, but mostly him, I guess. I would suggest findng an EFT practitioner to help deal with these problems. EFT is an amazing technique see - lots of info about it. You can find a practitioner her on HP or [DLMURL="http://www.aamet.org/search/filter-members/eft-advanced-practitioners.html"]here[/DLMURL].

No doubt others will offer ideas too.

I do hope he is sorted soon. May I send him Love, Light and Healing?

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Masha B
Posts: 1006
(@masha-b)
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Joined: 17 years ago

These type of nightmares may indicate that your boyfriend is suffering with post traumatic stress.. Has he had any unusually difficult or traumatic experiences in his life? These don't have to be recent, sometimes trauma that happened many, many years ago can be re-triggered by fairly ordinary events and stresses in everyday life.

It would be helpful for him to seek some psychological help - an experienced therapist who is qualified in EFT or EMDR would be a good start.

Best of luck

Masha

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sacrel
Posts: 686
(@sacrel)
Honorable Member
Joined: 16 years ago

Hi Middlepillar

I’m sure you may receive help from others on HP. In my view there is a lot more going on here with your boyfriend and from your description to an extent where a correct therapy may be required. Post traumatic disorder may play a part from based on your description.

You say that you have ‘turned to numerous places without gaining any appropriate guidance’ what guidance have you had? What profession type has been involved? Why did these approaches fail? .

I can only assume that your seeking the correct help may have involved therapy. If your boyfriend struggles with his behaviour to an extent becomes uncontrollable and near loss of his own actions, maybe a psychotherapy or counselling assistance would be something to consider? My inital thought - a psychodynamic therapist approach or psychoanalyst approach may help treat your boyfriend’s symptoms?. Other excellent approaches such as person centred and cognitive may also help depending on his current conscious behaviour. Of course you may wish to consider all options of therapy which you both feel may assist according to his symptoms.

Hope you find the assistance you need.

Sacrel

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middlepillar
Posts: 2
Topic starter
(@middlepillar)
New Member
Joined: 9 years ago

Hi all, many many thanks for your replies. I feel the positivity and advice have been a help. My boyfriend has had EFT treatment I believe a couple of years back as well as speaking to healthcare professionals. Eventually he was put on medication by the GP but both types of medication he was prescribed intensified the nightmares and had nasty side effects making him poorly all day. He has also had sessions with counsellors and looks to return to this route. After the last nightmare he felt best to stop medication to let his body be free of any chemical influences subsequently he has had success and again the dreams have subsided. Hopefully this is a step towards recovery.

Can anyone enlighten me more on EFT as I am personally interested in it myself and it's effictiveness on different issues.

All my best.

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Crowan
Posts: 3429
(@crowan)
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Joined: 12 years ago

Have you considered shamanic healing?

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Tashanie
Posts: 1924
(@tashanie)
Noble Member
Joined: 12 years ago

Hi all, many many thanks for your replies. I feel the positivity and advice have been a help. My boyfriend has had EFT treatment I believe a couple of years back as well as speaking to healthcare professionals. Eventually he was put on medication by the GP but both types of medication he was prescribed intensified the nightmares and had nasty side effects making him poorly all day. He has also had sessions with counsellors and looks to return to this route. After the last nightmare he felt best to stop medication to let his body be free of any chemical influences subsequently he has had success and again the dreams have subsided. Hopefully this is a step towards recovery.

Can anyone enlighten me more on EFT as I am personally interested in it myself and it's effictiveness on different issues.

All my best.

EFT is a technique that can be learned form the internet. It can be used in any situation where there is something causing distress to the person. It isn;t something used once and then forgotten. It should be used every time an issues causes distress. It would certainly have been useful during his detox as EFT can reduce cravings for drugs.

I have taught EFT to people to help them stop craving craving cigarettes, or stop them hating their bodies, One woman I know even used it to help deal with the distress caused by childhood abuse.

Google EFT and you will videos of how to do it and when it can be helpful.

You mention nightmares and I wonder if there is an element of PTSD ? If there is then Eye movement Desensitisation and reprogramming (EMDR) might be helpful.

Sally

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Masha B
Posts: 1006
(@masha-b)
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Joined: 17 years ago

EFT is a technique that can be learned form the internet. It can be used in any situation where there is something causing distress to the person. It isn;t something used once and then forgotten. It should be used every time an issues causes distress. It would certainly have been useful during his detox as EFT can reduce cravings for drugs.

Would agree with Tashanie that EFT is excellent to help with addictive issues, cravings, withdrawal and underlying psychological problems.

However, I'd like to warn against learning it purely form the internet - whilst there are some good videos around, there are also some really terrible ones too (the latter including some very well known practitioners, which makes it even more confusing for beginners), and quite a few people who come to EFT courses who had previously picked some EFT from the internet had really got the wrong end of the stick with it.

Whilst it looks very simple (and on some level it is), to use it well and effectively people really need to understand the nuances and some of the details of the process which are hard to pick from online learning. If you are interested in studying EFT properly I would suggest to find a registered trainer here [url]Welcome to the AAMET - AAMET International[/url] and do a proper course.

Masha

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Tashanie
Posts: 1924
(@tashanie)
Noble Member
Joined: 12 years ago

However, I'd like to would warn against learning it purely form the internet though - whilst there are some good videos around, there are also some really terrible ones too (the latter including some very well known practitioners, which makes it even more confusing for beginners), and quite a few people who come to EFT courses who had previously picked some EFT from the internet had really got the wrong end of the stick with it.

Masha

I understand you view Masha. And I would agree some people probably need MORE than EFT - which they need to get from a therapist. But my understanding is that the original disocover of the technique (whose name I cannot remember!) originally put the technique out there because it was so simple.

Even in a therapy session all you can do is teach it and go through it with the client. After that it is up to them to use it at the right time. Of course what you also do with the client during that session is a lot of talking (and in my case some hypnotherapy or reiki) to initiate some level of healing that the EFT can then build on. Now that you won't get from the internet - but I still feel a person who finds and uses EFT from You tube or wherever can still gain from it in the absence of any other therapy. Also not everyone can afford to pay 25.00 - 50.00 for a therapy session of some sort. EFT from the interent is free - and better than nothing at all

Sally

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star99
Posts: 2349
(@star99)
Noble Member
Joined: 13 years ago

Every client is different, so not a good idea to go by youtube, there is no general one clip fits all, it is ok to learn the points etc but thats it, I agree with Masha there are some very bad youtube clips out there.The talk part of EFT is so important and this comes from the client in that moment, so the practitioner takes it from this, including the tone of the voice, how the client is reacting etc

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Mystique Faerie
Posts: 135
(@mystique-faerie)
Estimable Member
Joined: 17 years ago

Hi
Just to say that I know a lady who is a therapist and also teaches E.F.T. This book [url]Emotional Freedom: Techniques for Dealing with Emotional and Physical Distress: Amazon.co.uk: Gary Craig, Garry A. Flint: Books[/url] was given to someone I know who was her client to use independently at home.
Hope this helps in some way!

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CarolineN
Posts: 4760
(@carolinen)
Famed Member
Joined: 13 years ago

I would like to add that although EFT basics are simple, in the process of tapping you may bring up overwhelming issues which have been deeply hidden. This can frighten the client considerably and if there is no practitioner to help the person through the process it can put them right off it.

To use it for cravings and weight loss for example is fine on one's own but for anyone with serious problems like the person mentioned below, I would seriously suggest a practitioner who knows how to deal with deep trauma issues. There are plenty of ways of helping that one learns from properly qualified teachers [DLMURL="http://www.aamet.org/search/filter-members/list-eft-trainers.html"]like these[/DLMURL]. Also be aware that you can work with a practitioner of EFT once you know the tapping points using skype, or even over the phone. So you can choose someone who does not live nearby but who is well versed with dealing with more difficult problems.

EFT is a powerful tool, and in the right hands can make a vast difference. Also one needs to get to the core issue. If you don't, the problem isn't solved and often the process can bring up all sorts else on the way. It is rarely a quick fix, although it can be astonishing at times. The good thing is that once one understands the way to go it can be done on one's own, but I would say do use a practitioner to learn how first.

Gary Craig was the person who put this together - [url]see here.[/url] A wonderful, wonderful man. I attended his one and only European Seminar in Europe and was vastly impressed with what he diid. A mind-blowing 3 days it was!

Middlepillar, it is well worth exploring the different connections I have given you - lots and lots of information - and then do come back to us if you have more questions.

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