Advice - what to say?

RE: Advice - what to say?

I am sorry to hear of what you are going through. It must be hard to focus on what to do for the best. Of course it is only natural that you don't want to lose your mum - you are not being selfish.

Talk to your brother too, maybe it would be easier on you all to work through this together.

Sending you love, light, strength, support and positivity to aid you with the decisions you do make.

Sending all your family support too especially your mother,

Love and blessings,

Jo x

RE: Advice - what to say?

Onlyjane my heart goes out to you at this sad time. All I would say is go with whatever is in your heart - make your decision with your mum's highest good in your heart andwhatever is meant, will be right.

Your feelings are only natural - don't beat yourself up about not being there every day, your mum wouldn't want you to get ill yourself by running yourself ragged. And it's also only natural not to want to lose her - the shock and upset of the news is raw and even when it is expected, to lose someone we love is so very hard.

Again, know and trust what is in your heart, Onlyjane.

Sending you and your family reiki and loving blessings.

With love and sunshine rays, RosyAngel

RE: Advice - what to say?

I can't tell you what to do, all you can do is your best to get through the next weeks and the time beyond that..

I don't know if this will help at all, but I lost my mum last December following months of will she/ wont she get better. It was horrible, seeing her improve then dwindle. Eventually I accepted that the inevitable was going to happen and all I could do was hold myself together best as I could and be there for her.

We were told on the Monday before she went that it could be any day,equally, it could be a couple of years, they just didn't know. I made the decision not to tell her. I didn't know - although I had a strong feeling this was it. She was losing her marbles, seeing things, but although she was having having hallucinations, she seemed comforted by them, so I went along with it.

For me, I didn't want to tell her this was it, if she knew, she didn't want to discuss it, on her last day, she said 'I'm fed up' and then started to fade, it was uncanny, she didn't complain before then. Sure sign. I didn't want to waste timetalking about it being her last days, had she said to me I'm going we'd have talked about it. We had other things to do, although it was so hard to hold together to see her. Inside you're falling apart and every bit of you is crying out get well, and you know it's just not going to happen.

Lets face it, everything goes out of the window and survival mode kicks in- brave face, appreciation of the time you do have, memories, good things, happy times, healthy times.

I was probably happiest at her funeral - everyone else was mourning, I was celebrating cause she as safe and resting, and she was very, very tired. It took me many months before it dawned on me I had lost her and sad feelings needed to be dealt with. Nothing can compare to the joy of knowing someone you love can't hurt anymore. I felt guilty at first, cause I wished her dead.. but then realised I was wishing her well, my loss, her gain. If noone could make her better, don't let her suffer for my selfish gain- these were not memories I wished to keep.

I don't know, I am not you, butI do know that letting someone go isa gracious selfless thing. It's probably the hardest thing you'll ever do, whatever you decide, it'll be what's right. She may well know inside that this is it, you're the only one who might know whether it's worth bringing it up.

If you can see her, do it, i you can't - you can't change that, that's how it has to be. Do what feels right. If you need to go more, do it, or I know you might not like me suggesting it, but if you can't cope with it, that's how it is. She's yor mum, she probably knows you so well, she'll understand, she'll know some of what you're feeling, she'll feel it too.

When you see her, talk of good things, make it not just about hospital, make her smile, that smile you love, remember all the wonderful things you've shared. If it's too hard to talk them over with her - run them in your head. Don't be sad, she's your mum, she's here and she'll always be with you. She can be taken away, but she'll always be part of you and she'll never be far.

RE: Advice - what to say?

I'm so sorry to read about your dear Mum. She probably is aware her time is limited but as has already been said, if she hasn't talked about it then there is no need for you to if you do not wish to.
Do not beat yourself up about being there all the time. So many people have been with their loved ones, day after day and then been advised to go home to rest/change/get something to eat and as soon as they have gone the loved one departs. This is not the fault of the person who left, but sometimes the soul cannot leave the body while the emotional tie of the family members is so strong. They need to be on their own for their final journey.

Do what you feel is right for your Mum's best interests and keep the happy memories of the time you had together. Also, as has already been said, talk to your brother about your feelings.
Nothing is going to make this any easier for you all so sending you all lots of love and Reiki energy for your Mum's safe journey 'home'. She is about to embark on the biggest adventure she's ever had.

Love and light

reikiangel

xxx