The Path Not Taken - several dreams

This morning I had a significant dream. I was in a town on a street corner. A bird that looked like a stellar jay, only it was grey and black, lit on my right index finger. It licked my hand, several times. I thought that was odd. It got off, and I started across the street. I realized maybe I should take the bird home with me. So I went back. The bird turned into a grey and black tabby cat. I picked it up, and it licked me. It had a gimpy right front leg/paw, like it had had polio. It held it's front leg up against it's body. I asked people about the cat. They said it was homeless. So I decided to take it home. I think it might have been Fleggy - my cat who died in 2004.

The dream shifted. I was with Dad in the mountains, way up on a cliff. Dad was talking to me. (He died in 1983) We came to the edge of the cliff. The edge was like it was made of set rectangular rocks. Dad approached the edge of the cliff and calmly just walked right off, straight down into the abyss. Cautiously I looked down after him. He was not screaming or anything, but just falling and looking peacefully up at me.

Next, I was in those rugged mountains with a bunch of other people. We were all on a road that wound through the mountains. There came a fork in the road. It was getting dark. Most of the people took the road to the right - it led higher up the edge of the cliff, a steeper climb, and there was more light there, more frequent light. I took the road that went down along the edge of the river. The road was pretty flat - not a difficult climb at all. The only problem was that it was pitch black. I continued to walk confidently even though I couldn't see where I was going. Only once in a while was there a flash of light. So only once in a while could I see where I was going. Two other people were on the road. I did not know them, but they were following the road in the dark too.

So this morning I talked with my husband about it. We both agree the dream was about following my own path, even when I can't see where I'm going. He said, I was "following the road not taken." He also said it was like the dream I had where I was on the rock fence in the mountains, where one side was the familiar where everyone else was, and the other was pristine with unknown paths. And Dad stepping off in to the abyss is what I am doing. Dad was showing me my course. It's like Jonathan Livingston Seagull going off on his own, doing his own thing, and even when he came back from the dead he still did his own thing. He did not seek out gulls to teach. They sought him out when there was something they wanted to learn from him. This is more confirmation that I am on the right path

This is a good birthday - as I move away from others who have repaid my kindness by using and abusing me and held me back. My 58th birthday is about freedom - and growth. Richard Bach said, "All that stands in the way of perfection must to set aside." I remember thinking when I was a kid that by my 50s I'd be so old and life would be so boring, I'd be icky looking, and I'd be all grown up. It's great to learn that the growth truly can be ongoing and that new vistas open with each step I take.