I would be really grateful if someone might be able to shed some light on some dreams I have been having for years and which show no sign of going away.
Firstly, I have asked Angel Michael, Rapheal and Gabriel to stop the dreams. I have asked Michael to break the ties. I have tried Reiki (I have done Reiki 1) and I have tried meditating. So far nothing has helped. I can only assume that this means that I must address the issues which the dreams are highlighting, however, this is not easy as I shall now explain.
The dreams involve the following incidences that have happened to me since I was a child:
Feeling shut out by my mum as a child and adolescent and even an adult. (this has been addressed)
Being ostracised by so-called 'best' friends at school, in front of lots of their friends. (not addressed but accepted)
Being raped by a son of a family who I was very close to (the family), but who I then drifted apart from. (not addressed as not possible and no-one believed me at the time anyway)
Other instances where I have felt very disgusted with myself and 'dirty', (often characterised by cheating on my boyfriend in my dreams).
My grandmother, who I was very close to, dying. (accepted but I still miss her)
I obviously don't wish to go into (anymore) more detail than this - but suffice to say that all of these instances have caused alot of pain in my life and on a day to day basis I have been able to move on. However I am on antidepressants and have had therapy, although know I need to have more.
The fact is that I dream about the family with the son, sometimes as much as three times a week. I dream about my grandmother alot too. Always in her house. And she is always dead but alive at the same time. The being ostracised is less often and the dreams concerning my mum blocking me out not so often either. The feeling of being disgusting and dirty due to difficult sexual orientated dreams is quite often. I also dream that I am forgetting where my children are, or to feed them. Also forgetting to feed friends animals in my dreams.
Sorry this is such a rambling and badly organised email but it's late and I am tired!!!
I often pray not to dream because I feel so exhausted the next day. I also can't shake off the feeling that the dreams leave me with. I spent all day yesterday in tears, not good for my young children or partner to witness and so I sat in the bath and cried, curled up like a child. I feel so vulnerable and incredibly tormented and really don't know how to stop these feelings. I can't face the family (re the rape) as it just isn't possible, although I often think about it and in the dreams I am always confronting them about it.
I would really appreciate some advice.
Thanks.
Hi Rainingfeet.
Firstly, a big hug to you :hug: and welcome to HP.
You are obviously a very sensitive person and have been through a lot haven't you.
There is nothing wrong with feelings and experiencing them, however it has got to the stage where you are now overwhelmed by these feelings and it is affecting your life.
It is quite understandable to miss your Nan and about your Mum.
The feeling dirty is another one due to the rape and not being believed.
Losing your children and not feeding them and the animals indicates that you are unable to feed and nurture your own inner child and instinctual/natural nature.
It is the nurturing aspect that you have lost here, and which can be re-gained. All is not lost.
Throughout your post it is the sense of you not being acknowledged and heard by your nearest and dearest; this comes through most strongly.
I feel that you need to start to acknowledge and hear your own inner child; to start to feed this aspect of yourself, not by trying to make your feelings go away, but by just accepting them here and now and with no guilt attached.
It is and that is that.
By doing this, these feeling will start to loosen their grip as they are at least feeling heard and so accepted.
Rainingfeet, we do not know why things like this happen at the time, but they can become the opportunity to become stronger within ourselves and to acknowledge needs within us that we are denying ourselves.
How can you, right now, acknowledge that inner child that is crying and curled up?
How can you nurture her and give her what she really needs?
Remember that there are people here to hear you, acknowledge you and to accept you, just as you are....as you now need to do for yourself.
Blessings and lots of hugs.
Thanks Sarah for your words of advice. How on earth does one nurture ones inner child? Buy myself sweets?!! Not meaning to be flippant, I just don't know where to start.
Hi Rainingfeet.
No, you are not being flippant, and from the sounds of it you do want to get through these feelings etc.
In my previous post I said to start nurturing this child by firstly acknowledging and accepting the feelings that you have, with no guilt attached.
Children are open and obvious in how they express themselves, to the point where they will embarrass the adults around them. Now I am not saying that you go around doing this, but by just openly acknowledging, to yourself, how you are actually feeling and how you would really want to express yourself, if you could.
People, children, animals who have been put down by others; abused or ignored, tend to turn inwards as a form of protection ,creating a safe barrier around themselves where all that exists is the hurt felt inside.
You did say that in your dreams you are confronting the family about the rape...so, and this is now nurturing that inner child.....you need to bring this out in the open, in reality.
This needs to be brought out in a creative way, not a destructive way, as you need to move on and away from this...not by blame or by pointing the finger, but by acknowledging your anger about this; about acknowledging the abuse of trust; and about acknowledging the anger about not being believed.
I always recommend writing a letter....NOT to be sent....which is full of your anger and pain. This starts the process of release and starts also the process of hearing the pain of that inner child.
As said, children either have tantrums or withdraw if not heard or acknowledged.
After the letter, keep writing and keep letting your feelings emerge, or in whatever way you can express yourself that doesn't hurt you or others.
Let me know how you get on.
Blessings and another hug. :hug:
Dreams
Hi
As a hypnotherapist I would say your subconscious is crying out for attention! Have you considered hypnoanalysis? Your dreams could be a sign that your subconscious is at a point where a release of "stored" emotions is imminent, and to do this safely you would need the guidance and support of a trained therapist. The conscious mind may want one thing, whereas the subconscious mind has a different agenda, thus resulting in a conflict, which will always produce "symptoms", and dreams can be a manifest of such symptoms.
Straightforward "suggestion" work wouldn't be appropriate for you. If you decide you would like to seek help from a hypnotherapist, look for one who works with analysis, which gets to to root cause of the symptoms.
Finally, don't be alarmed by the dreams - your subconscious is communicating with you, and if you can recognise it for what it is, and seek the help to alleviate it, I feel sure you will feel so much better.
Take care, and be assured that your dreams will prove to be helpful in the long run.
Kind regards
Lynn
www.tranquilessence.co.uk