Hi Steve,
I have pm'd you.
Luv Binah
x
thanks
Thanks Binah, it helped a great deal
going too
Sheangel
I'm probably going to take a job in a different state - to get some time to myself and sort out all my feelings. I just think it is best right now. I hae to do something. you made some very valid points that made me think a bit and I appreciate it.
The main topic of prior telephone conversations with her have been about US and we painted a very romantic picture for us as we found we were alike in many ways, our feelings, our thoughts - we felt like soulmates, often spending over two hours on the phone together. her current ex doesn't like this so we have stopped - he only allows us to talk about work during certain hours of the day. I think she is tryng to give him a fair shake as she left him before, but he is trying to change to suit her. so she has put me on hold for the time being.
Dont be put on hold Steve, remove yourself from the situation, believe me when i say you will always be second best, if she really wanted the change she would have done it by now, you are the illusion of change for her, the illusion that life can be different, the illusion that while she is talking to you she can escape.
Dont spend your life being that illusion.
If her ex is allowing her to do certain things, then they still have connections somewhere, ask yourself why she left and went back, there must be something worth trying for both of them.
She will be one of maybe many or maybe few, she has given you something at least, the fact that you know your marraige is probably over (sorry if thats blunt) but you can move forward, just dont waste time waiting for this woman, if she was the one, she would be believe me.
Good luck.
over
Well, I have finally realized that she was not good for me. I looked around and determined that I ended up in my current situation because of her - that is, I have moved and taken a different job in a different city. I really don't know if I am more angry at her or at myself for being such a fool. I haven't talked with her for quite a while now and I feel better for it.
I look for some things I have learned. She did leave me with something - not to be so foolish again, but also that I couldn't stay in the situation I was in anyway and this was just a way out, that, you were right, I would always be second choice for her despite what she says, to not always take so literally what she might say to me. I just feel like she really played me, telling me things I wanted to hear and I was silly enough to beleive it
I hope I have not lost my ability to dream and to hope though and that if i'm lucky I'll find another and this time it won't be so bad for me.