I've had the most relentless two day of pure stress, anxiety, fear, depression and loneliness regarding my work and family. I'm the kind of person who is easily manipulated, bullied and some how allow people to use and abuse me emotionally and mental. I've been robbed of my self confidence and when it comes to confrontation i have no voice, I do not have the courage to say how I really feel. These past 2 days have been hell, I had and incident at work regarding money, which turned out it was my boss fault!! And here was worried sick and was stressing out wonder what went wrong and I was scared stiff to tell my boss what had happened. I felt like was crippled with fear, I was soo angry and my nerves was torn to shreds and I was in such a state I could barely walk. Didn't help when I got home from work today that i ended up having a row with my family. I'm worried cos my legs are still aching from the day before and was wondering would it be the stress I've endured in the past 2 days starting to take its tool on me, as my legs feel really weak??!! I've been really stressed out these past few days/weeks as I've been trying to complete case studies for a p/t course I'm doing, but I'm getting no support from my family and work has been really taking its toll on me. I'm just soo exhausted and worried that I'm making myself ill!!:026::034::confused:
Poor you....
what you need is a good telling off and a relax....
so start by telling yourself, you wont be bullied, as thats what some people do, others call it manipulation...
You need to form a pattern, each day when you wake ( i always tell my Angels) say i am going to have a good day today.
If you have to do something you dont particularly like, count to ten, in your mind say ..i am right, as indeed you know you are, see if this gives you the courage to say what you need to say.
Keep your voice calm and because you know you are right stand your ground.
Dont be afraid to face your fear, if you know that what you say is correct then face it and be strong.
I went through a period like that, where a few things went wrong at work, and i would dread saying anything, but i used to think i may get into trouble when i knew it wasnt my fault, or the error was caused byt someone else, but i face the fear and do it anyway. More often than not being upfront and getting it over with worked for me, i didnt sit pondering over it...
I remember starting work at 16 something happened in the office ( i cant even remember now it must have been trivial) but this other girl got me to speak up, i did then got a telling off but my boss, saying i should keep my opinions to myself. So i did for quite a while, even though i knew i was in the right, then eventually i thought, no i wont be quiet so they can have an easy life, no rocking of the boat, but sometimes you have to speak up and be counted so to speak.
I do think about 'it' first, if i come to the conclusion that its not worth mentioning i leave it, but eventually if its something i feel needs to be said, after deliberation ill do it.
But you can only be as you are.
Take some time out, you sound as if you need it, go for a long walk, go for a long bath, be on your own for a while, lock out the family let them get on with it....and just be you for an hour or two.
If you get out to nature, take a look around, get some fresh air, walk, run, look and feel, enjoy just being you....try and do it at least once a week, thats not asking too much eh?
It will be your time, to relax, think about things, your future, what you will do with your new qualifiaction, how hectic your life is but how relaxed you are at this moment in time.
It will give you the strength to go through the week, until your next relaxing session...
If you can meditate, do that
Yoga
do that...
Anything that means you can spend an hour with you.....you deserve it!!!!
Hi EV80,
Although as a hypnotherapist I am slightly biased, I treat people for stress, anxiety, lack of confidence/self-esteem etc on a daily basis.
I would seriously recommend looking into finding a hypnotherapist local to you to help you deal with these situations. NLP, or ideally someone trained in hypnotherapy and NLP, or EFT would also be beneficial paths for you to pursue.
For stress and stress related problems, meditation is also very beneficial. In this respect I would recommend looking for courses at a local Buddhist centre rather than a "new age" guided meditation type of establishment. My personal experience of Buddhist centres is that in most cases they offer meditation courses not just at reasonable rates but also without expecting you to show an interest in Buddhism or pushing their religious beliefs on you (which is not the Buddhist way anyway).
Hi SV80
As much as I feel for your situation and empathise totally, Happychica and myself have been through a similar emotional rollercoaster which has left us apart now in different countries licking our wounds, we both love each other and myself could never love anybody as much as I love Happychica but there was something that has been between us for about 8 - 10 months and we think this were issues from our individual past and the way we got together.....however I digress what I will say is you have to get control of your actions by making drastic change otherwise you will enter a cycle which you will find hard to break and you will make yourself ill......start today(you know what they say about walking a thousand miles it all starts with the first step) find some good discs to listen to, Try Anthony Robbins (not everybody likes him but I do). what is good if you are feeling you have no support in your family I havent been here long but you will get some positive energy from this forum.....
Anxiety - Dampness
Depression - Dryness
Fear - Cold,
the whole Yin group of harmful factors and legs are Yin part
of the body in general.
Personally I think the problem with your legs is psychosomatic: if there's something wrong with your legs then they can't take you to work which is where all the problems seem to lie. You don't say whether your 'family' means partner and children or parents and siblings, but if they aren't supporting you, then you'll have to do it on your own - and think of the sense of achievement at the end. As for the fear factor, everything that's been posted above makes sense; basically no matter the outcome, if your worst fears are realised, you're not going to die are you? I wonder what age you are - because if you are still quite young, then believe me, there's every likelihood that you will grow out of this fear. But you say you were angry too - so everything is getting bottled up inside you. Somehow you have to learn to speak your truth...and I do mean speak, calmly and slowly. Just say your piece - what can they do to you? Or is it that you are in the wrong job and should be looking for another? Meditation is such a good idea, do look into it, together with some kind of physical exercise. Be strong, be a hero. Good luck.
xxx
Leg Pain - Stress - Chamomile Tea
First I don't think your leg pain is psychosomatic, - stress triggers a series of hormonal responses ( which we really have little control over) - it is all to do with the "fight or flight" response.
Stress is a hormonal response and can be defined as a reaction to a mental, physical, or emotional stimulus that interferes with the bodys natural balance. This relates not only to pressure of work, family worries, and changes in lifestyle, but also stressors such as nutrient deficiencies, and physical trauma such as injury. Our response to stress is a hormonal reaction directed by the adrenal glands, and involves the secretion of two main hormones adrenaline and cortisol. At one time our facility to deal with physical stress, governed our ability to survive. The human bodys stress mechanism has not changed - it is the type of stress that has. The stress our predecessors experienced whilst hunting for food or going into battle is completely different from working a long day in a stressful job, or dealing with a horrible boss i.e modern day stressors are mental not physical, but the body still reacts in the same way.
Some common symptoms of long term stress are[LIST=1]
Stress has a lot to be blamed for - and shouldn't be underestimated. I don't want to make this post too long - and some of the other posters have given lots of good advice. One suggestion that may help is to try drinking chamomile tea, although the tea bags you get in the supermarket are OK - in my opinion the best effect is from using the whole dried flowers to make a tea. Chamomile tea has a very calming and soothing effect and is also good if you get stress related digestive problems. I am not sure if I can recommend a particular company or brand (not quite sure of forum rules as I am a new member), but if you go to a good independent health food shop they should be able to help you.
I do hope this helps - there are also lots of things you can do with diet to help stress, but I think this post is probably too long already.
Look after yourself
Hi omegamix,
To answer your query re recomending companies, members are free to do so as long as they don't have a commercial affiliation to them.:)
HTH
On behalf of the Moderating Team,
calla lily
Chamomile tea recommendations
Thanks to Calla lily for answering my query regarding recommendations
The company I use fo my herbal teas is Herb Hands Healing - they have a wonderful selection, and some very indepth information
https://secure.herbs-hands-healing.co.uk/acatalog/Products_With_Choices.html
Their chamomile tea got me through the stress of final exams!
Give yourself a break, have some spa or a grand make over for a change. Visit cosmetic surgeon and treat yourself once in a while.