No I do and I'm seriously thinking about it.
I see a lot of people holding onto these judgemental ties and feeling wronged. You see it everywhere you go.
Yes it is reflected in the general state of health and well-being which is to be expected.
I think for me I don't like these flooding thoughts coming in of these violent outbursts from people. I want to shut them out because it's weighing me down.
Could I ask what other peoples violent outbursts are triggering within you?
One thing I did find interesting was that when I did the same thing and was quite nasty back to these people I strangely felt better.
To me I think what I did was inappropriate but I did feel better so what is that all about?
That is one form of release from what is happening in the moment, someone shouts at us and the body feels threatened, so the adrenaline builds up for the fight or flight reaction and we choose to shout back and that releases the adrenaline, the body goes back to normal with a sense of high.
In a sense this is a natural survival reaction based upon the bodies natural defence mechanism, I think what you are talking about when you say it is inappropriate, is if we judge the bodies natural reaction verses what we want to be able to choose to do when we have attained self mastery!
Self mastery comes about though letting go of self judgment and embracing self acceptance, together with accepting personal responsibility for our thoughts and the actions they create, but to be in a position to make choices on how we wish to react to any given situation (rather than having to react) requires us to let go of the judgmental beliefs we have built around what we perceive to be self, we can't fill a container with new things when it is already overflowing to bursting point with something else. 😉
I've noticed that most people are very reactive. That's why so many fights break out.
Right so maybe the fighting back wasn't so bad after all and was almost needed. Survival!!! Once again remove the judgement.
The violent, repressed emotions are because someone screamed at me quite violently and another shouted in my face quite aggressively and was a proper bully. He got a bit of enjoyment from it as well I think.
I know this happens everywhere.
I'm a bit embarassed because I was quite stressed at the time and it probably looked like it effected me but I can't change it now.
I've learnt to train myself to not be so effected which I think is quite a good thing and I can also accept responsibility that some of it could be my fault but not all situations.
I love this website. Thanks everyone.
I'm a bit embarassed because I was quite stressed at the time and it probably looked like it effected me but I can't change it now.
That is not quite the way things are, yes we cannot go back and change a situation which has already happened, but we are free to go back and change the way we choose to react to what has already happened (this is where the judgmental ties come into play), once we have placed a judgment then it causes an inner divisional conflict within self, this conflict will react to any external or internal trigger right until it is released and replaced with acceptance.
I know from past experience that placing judgments can at the time appear to make us feel better or smug with self that we were right etc, but what most people do not understand is a judgment is a two edged sward, a judgment placed within our consciousness has absolutely no effect upon anyone else, it is something that we have personally chosen to create about our life experience (we are our life experience, it is not something which exists outside of us), it will remain within our consciousness until we choose to do something about it.
I've learnt to train myself to not be so effected which I think is quite a good thing and I can also accept responsibility that some of it could be my fault but not all situations.
It is not training which is required, we are all fully equipped with a free will to choose to accept or reject, to attempt to make us do something which we have already set up to work in a different way, only creates greater internal strife and conflict (we are fighting self), when we learn to accept, then it flows seamlessly without any strife or conflict, we just focus as one being and make a choice, think about it for a while. 🙂
Yeah I totally agree. I think most fighting tends to be futile and leads nowhere and I totally agree with the whole smug thing when it comes to judgement. It makes people feel superior for a few moments and then it disappears.
So many people behave like this and we are all guilty of it.
I had a woman throw a comment at me that was like she was looking down on me to make herself feel better. It didn't achieve anything but to her it probably felt like it did.
Yeah I totally agree. I think most fighting tends to be futile and leads nowhere and I totally agree with the whole smug thing when it comes to judgement. It makes people feel superior for a few moments and then it disappears.
So many people behave like this and we are all guilty of it.
I had a woman throw a comment at me that was like she was looking down on me to make herself feel better. It didn't achieve anything but to her it probably felt like it did.
Judgement (and I'm talking about 'pre-judgement' here, judging without facts, prejudice) does harm quite apart from the smugness. People use this type of judgement to make snap decisions about people, events etc. that simply confirm them in their prejudices. This is what other people are probably doing when they attack you. It's probably what you are doing when you attack them. If you can let go of this type of judgement then not only will you attract less attacking but you will also be more able to let it slide over you when it does happen. You'll be happier.
I'm not suggesting that you let people walk all over you. But if your response to someone being unpleasant to you is to recognise that everyone has stuff going on in their lives that can - for some people - come out in nastiness, then you will not feel attacked by the situation.
I've noticed that most people are very reactive. ...
... I know this happens everywhere.
It doesn't happen everywhere. It doesn't happen in my life with the frequency it seems to happen in yours. Partly because I don't go around expecting it to.
This whole judgement thing. It's starting to make sense because I didn't understand it before.
So the more riled we become about things, it means we are judging the situation so if we stay calm and accept things, this is better ??
Could this not be doormat behaviour though ?
This whole judgement thing. It's starting to make sense because I didn't understand it before.
So the more riled we become about things, it means we are judging the situation so if we stay calm and accept things, this is better ??
Could this not be doormat behaviour though ?
You seem very anxious not to be a 'doormat'. Where did that come from?
We always judge situations. This is part of being human. Every time we cross the road, we make judgements about whether we can cross without incident. What I am talking about is pre-judgement (literally 'predjudice'), essentially making a judgement without knowing the full facts. And we never know the full facts about another person, or why they behave as they do - it's hard enough to understand oneself! So judgements about others are almost always predjudice.
Staying calm and accepting the situation? That depends on the situation, doesn't it? It depends whether you are in a position to change the situation or not. For example, if you get up in the morning, having planned a day in the park, and it's pouring with rain, you cannot change the situation. So you may as well accept it. But it is in your hands what you do then. You could do something else you would enjoy anyway. You could decide you don't mind getting wet. These choices are in your control, even though the weather isn't.
Getting riled is a problem for you. We can see this, because of what you said in several of your posts. So it is in your best interests not to get riled. But some situations you may not want to accept. The choice between getting riled and accepting a situation is a false dichotomy - and it closes your mind to all the other responses that you might have.
I don't like how I'm broken recordy hahaha. It's finding some way to release it all. I've seen many people get riled.
This whole judgement thing. It's starting to make sense because I didn't understand it before.
So the more riled we become about things, it means we are judging the situation so if we stay calm and accept things, this is better ??
Could this not be doormat behaviour though ?
OK we have a way of assessing something outside of making a judgment upon it, that is until we choose to form a judgmental belief about something, that is when we say to self that something is always wrong irrespective of the circumstances and I will never accept whatever it is as being OK.
Now once we have integrated a core judgmental belief about something, then we either go about stewing about it all of the time or we are one step away from getting angry about it, because any time someone mentions something about it or we witness something along the lines of this judgmental belief, then we get indignant about it, the judgmental belief is triggered and our whole being is outraged and preparing to do something about it because we have chosen to judge it to be not right.
Effectively we have robbed our self from making a free informed choice, that choice was made by us a long time ago when we chose to make a judgmental belief and we are living with the ramifications of it now, please give yourself permission to go back in your memories to the first time you felt like this, now allow yourself to step out of your triggered emotional responses so that you can see what actually happened and more importantly how you chose to internalise the event once it had finished and you had time to evaluate it, do not rush this you need to understand it.
With any thing we experience, we have two choices, we can choose to accept the experience or we can choose to reject the experience, the reality is we are choosing to accept or reject self, for we are our life experience.
Now assuming you have seen the judgmental tie you created and placed upon it at that time, give yourself permission to change the way you now want to internalise it, just tell yourself (you are not asking you have to tell yourself what you want) that you are now happy to accept the experience as an aspect of your life experience (do this three times).
Now if you have achieved this, you can now think about that experience without feeling anything at all, that is because you have removed the judgmental trigger that used to make you angry, you are now free to assess an angry situation without pre judging it to be wrong. 😉
Let me close this post with a word on personal responsibility, in order to choose we need to accept responsibility for those choices, in order to experience something (so that we know what it is) we need to accept responsibility for that experience opening for us, the reality is that we are 0% responsible for what other people choose to think, say and do, but we are 100% responsible for what we choose to think, say and do, as well as being 100% responsible for the way we choose to react to what other people choose to think, say and do.
Are written words just as powerful as face to face communication?
E.g. If you have a verbal fight with someone, is written just as powerful and able to hurt the other person?
I think face to face where you are exposed to and on the receiving end of their energy would be more powerful but maybe written is too.
Thoughts.
Are written words just as powerful as face to face communication?
E.g. If you have a verbal fight with someone, is written just as powerful and able to hurt the other person?
I think face to face where you are exposed to and on the receiving end of their energy would be more powerful but maybe written is too.
Thoughts.
-I would have thought that the written word is far more powerful. We say many thinks that we don't mean in the heat of the moment but the written word is planned, thought out and tailored to get across your desired meaning.
Interesting!! I just didn't think that it had as much power. When someone growls at you it can emotionally hurt and feel really painful whereas when it's written it's just words.
It's the intention that carries most of the power.