Also does anyone here use affirmations? I've been reading You Can Heal Your Life (by Louise L Hay) and have wondered how to deal with feelings of insecurity and self doubt regarding affirmations and change. I start to question myself by thinking the opposite to what I'm affirming while working on these things and worry that I'm only going to sabotage my efforts. As you can probably imagine, this then starts a vicious cycle.
Keep on repeating the affirmations, even though you are still questioning yourself. The 'questioning' is the old programme being played out in your mind, what you are now doing is replacing the old programming with more positive statements, after a while you may even find that as you begin to doubt, the affirmationw ill automatically come into your mind and eventually the new thoughts will replace the old.
thank you for the support. A big part of my problem is that I am alone and stuck in life in a very scary world. That's how it's been for me. I have no one to talk to on a daily basis. I don't know how you eft that away. Maybe affirmations can change that, but that's a long process I imagine. Reprogramming a lifetime of thinking doesn't seem comparable to eft tapping, meanwhile I have to figure out what I'm going to live on etc (or will in a month or so). Last night I slept very very poorly. My heart pounding, waking every hour barely able to get back to sleep. All this further conditions my fears and insecurities.
Hi Bloke,
Just to get back to you on the question of doing things on your own. Yes you can. Having a bit of support is useful of course but there are many who don't get that and still find a way through. It's about sticking at it and not running away from your experience. In fact the pain that drives us to find healing is the way we can discover something very special about this experience of being alive - if we never had this pain we would never be driven to find the hidden jewel. It can take many years to move a little closer to freedom one step at a time. It can't be all fixed all at once. It takes practice whatever approach you take.
Mindfulness practice can be done on your own, you just need to have the self discipline to follow the instructions and listen to the cd of guided meditations. You can also do an online eight week course from Bangor university. This 8 week course is normally done by attending a two hour class once a week all this course does is teach you some techniques and start you on the road. It's about learning new ways of relating to your experience - learning to become more aware of our sense perceptions - becoming more aware of our feelings - and to find a way out of our thinking traps. its about learning to approach painful parts of our lives little by little and in a gentle and compassionate way. For it's the painful parts of our lives that we are running away from that drives us to into all sorts of coping and avoidance strategies that causes us problems.
In the end the single most important factor in healing is about learning self-compassion. This is innate within each of us. We just need to find ways of remembering or reconnecting with it - it is the hidden jewel.
Norbu
It's not just support in terms of healing, it's general human contact - specifically finding friends who are likewise interested. Not just teachers/guides.
When I was 16 I got to live in the attic of our house; a tiny freezing room totally unsuitable for a bedroom (and not well converted given the size). I wasn't locked in or something, but that was my only space in a completely dysfunctional household. That was my room for about 16 years.
There just isn't the community that I can find, and that is what I crave and would probably be of great help.
Hi Bloke,
Yes I think we all need human friendship and closeness. I guess it's something you have to find a way of working out yourself but here there is some sense of the company perhaps you are looking for. And at least an opportunity for you to think through what it is you need and to express it, which is a really good thing to do in itself.
But the thing is, thinking and acting and the things we need in our lives all seem to come together. Maybe you need to find some kind of group to get involved with. This could be a meditation group or maybe a church group. You have to start somewhere and find people. So it is a mental step you have to make to decide to take this action.
The trick is to look at our motives. One pattern in life that I've come to see in my experience is that craving doesn't bring us what we want. For sure we have to take a step at a time. No-one can be the friend that fills such a big gap. The only way to really make friends is to try to make steps to offer kindness to others. But we can't be expecting some kind of return for our gift. Funnily enough this also helps us begin to make friends with ourselves and as we make friends with ourselves others also become our friends. this is very much part of healing and I think you are spot on when you recognise that your healing is as much about your need for friendship as it is about the path to healing itself.
Wishing you well,
Norbu
I dont know what to do with eft now. nothing is really working as well as that one attempt the other day and i'm sleeping really really poorly.
Hi Bloke,
There ain't no quick fix! There are just steps in the right direction and while others can encourage and even sometimes support you, you're the one who has to take them.
Wishing you well,
Norbu
Oh dear bloke!
I can feel your frustration because it's obvious you feel you need fast results. And here you are, at the beginning of your journey, just setting out on your path...having to realise that as everyone here is saying, 'the longest journey begins with but a single step'. At least you've found some signposts now, but you've got a long way to go. As norbu says, there are no quick fixes. It's going to be a long slog, given the baggage you're carrying. But here on HP, and in your local book shop or library, or online or on TV, or in any one of a thousand ways, if you keep your ears and your eyes open, you will be shown along the way. And you will be helped to help yourself. Nothing that anyone can suggest to you is going to have an immediate effect. It's taken years for you to reach this point, it may well take years for you to get yourself out of what you now perceive as a hole. But along the way, you will become whole...possibly. But remember, none of us get out of this alive!
Wishing you well...(Just try and relax a bit and have patience.)
But remember, none of us get out of this alive!
Hi Sunanda,
I guess I think I know what you mean here but just want to make sure Bloke recognises that, while you are talking in a very real sense you are also talking in a metaphorical sense.
There is a sense of "self" that must die sooner or later. This sense of self that has a history of pain and injury and is the cause of suffering that we identify with as "me".
As we let this sense of self go and find a sense of self that sees our experience and life itself as a process of awakening, we find life is full of good things. It's a change in outlook that's all, but it can be painful letting go of all the things we think we are; we need courage and compassion to come to face the pain that we have buried deep inside to become whole again.
Norbu
I'm sorry, this was somewhat flippantly written and I should have taken more care. I don't mean to scare bloke nor to confuse him. My meaning was in fact just as it says on the tin....we go through life falling and failing, doing and doubting...and at the end of it all, we all, without exception, leave our bodies and go on to the next stage. I guess what I was trying to tell bloke was to try to relax a little. He has info coming at him from all directions now, it's probably a bit overwhelming. Let go and go with the flow, that's my message.
Hi Bloke,
There ain't no quick fix! There are just steps in the right direction and while others can encourage and even sometimes support you, you're the one who has to take them.
Wishing you well,
Norbu
it's not so much about a quick fix as making progress. I felt i had made some progress and now notsomuch. And isn't the point of eft that it is quick?
Believe me, bloke, you have made amazing progress. Trust me on this. It's always going to be two steps forward and one step back. It is for nearly everyone. Slow slow quick quick slow. Patience, friend....
Hi Bloke,
Just a little input if I may...
However I will say I am extremely sceptical of homeopathy given that it works with doses that are too dilute.
The "skeptics" who dismiss homeopathy use the "too dilute" scientific reasoning all the time. The point is they are basing it on a statistical number of molecules in the solution such that, statistically, there is very little chance of there being any molecule of the original substance in it. a) this doesn't mean that there isn't and b) there are particles that are smaller than molecules and there's a very high chance that at a sub-atomic level, there is still some energetic pattern of the original substance. I too was sceptical of homeopathy in the past, then I tried it (to prove the point really), but found it worked. Proof is in the pudding as they say. 😉
You must understand I don't have access to a lot of these alternatives where I live and the ones I have found charge more than I can possibly afford. I don't begrudge people earning a living - I just can't afford it.
There are some people who will offer treatment for free. If you lived near me (not sure where you live, but I feel it's not near) and you really couldn't afford to pay for the treatment, I would still be willing to help. Maybe there is someone near you who offers the same? Try phoning round and asking perhaps? The worst that can happen is they say no.
I've just read the EFT manual; rather the actual technique. Surely it's not as simple as this? Is it safe to try at home unsupervised?
Yes, it is that simple. As for safety that depends what you determine as safe. EFT can bring up deep rooted emotions, so as long as you are prepared for them coming up and determined that you will work at those issues too, then it's perfectly Safe.
tried eft, from that pdf, it seems to do something. this is incredible!
Yes it is.
I felt better yesterday, but come the evening i became very tired. Didn't sleep much last night. I felt intense explosion of colour as a nightmare (felt like one). What's that all about? I wonder if the eft process is temporary. I don't know.
Energy therapies can make us feel tired, especially the meridian techniques such as EFT. It comes from releases of energy in our meridian system. Ensure you drink plenty of water. The EFT process can sometimes seem temporary, but if you come across that then it usually means that all of the issue or the core of the real issue hasn't been fully tackled and cleared. It's also possible that if there is some external cause of the issue and that hasn't been dealt with then the issue can be re-created (it's no good healing a knife wound if someone keeps on stabbing you 😉 )
it's not so much about a quick fix as making progress. I felt i had made some progress and now notsomuch. And isn't the point of eft that it is quick?
It depends on the issue.
Some issues are made up of just a few things or have one clear core issue. e.g. I used to have a fear of spiders. I knew this fear was rooted in a nightmare I had as a child. I tapped with EFT on the feeling I got from thinking back to this nightmare, cleared it and the fear of spiders completely disappeared. That was 5 years ago and it's still clear. However, someone with, for example, depression, does not just have a single issue to clear. Depression is not just a single thing, but made up of lots of different issues and these will differ from person to person. To deal with something like this it's best to list everything that you feel is an issue that relates to it, prioritise them in terms of severity of emotions and then choose which ones you want to deal with first (sometimes people aren't comfortable with tapping on the most serious (and most likely the core) issues first, but of course you could tap on that).
Depending on the issue, you can feel something go quickly or maybe it may take several sessions. Sometimes the wording is just right and sometimes it needs refining. Often, if treated in the presence of a practitioner, the practitioner can pick up on things you say about your issues that you yourself don't realise and they can help you word your statements better. Even EFT practitioners can have difficulty treating themselves and prefer to work with other practitioners. hehe!
Stick with it, it can only help. 😉
All Love and Reiki Hugs
After reading about a process derived from EFT called PEAT, I'm wondering if EFT is worthwhile in that there seems to be good reasoning that it's effects cannot be permanent.
After reading about a process derived from EFT called PEAT, I'm wondering if EFT is worthwhile in that there seems to be good reasoning that it's effects cannot be permanent.
I've not heard of PEAT. What reasoning is it that says it's effects cannot be permanent. On my understanding of the principles of energy behind how EFT, FREEWAY-CER and other meridian therapies (such as accupuncture, accupressure etc.) work, there is no reason for them not to be permanent, if applied correctly.
All Love and Reiki Hugs