Hello,
Why and how do we become a control freak? How do we change this behaviour?
Would E.F.T work?
Love and sunshine
Rachel
Hello,
Why and how do we become a control freak? How do we change this behaviour?
Would E.F.T work?Love and sunshine
Rachel
Hi Rachel,
I can't talk for EFT, but I do know about "control freaks". There are 2 types, those who control themselves, and those who control others. So what sort of control freak do you want to know about?
Myarka.
Hello Myarka,
Thanks for your reply.
Perhaps you can tell me your views on both types?
Rachelx
Hello Myarka,
Thanks for your reply.Perhaps you can tell me your views on both types?
Rachelx
Hi Rachel,
- Controlling is driven out low confidence and lack of security. This may have come from hurt, or from last aspirations.
- Control freak, as in self control is a defence mechanism from hurt, eg. an abusive childhood, or a child that was a let down. So basically a shell that's difficult to put down because of the risk of being seen as weak.
It's true that both come from damage, and both need repair in some way. Is there some sort of self help? Maybe, but the person who exhibits the former doesn't normally see it. Whereas the later needs love and support.
I'm not sure if I've made much sense?
Myarka.
Hello Myarka,
Thankyou again for your reply. Yes your reply did make sense. Perhaps you can tell me why people seem to like being controlled?
Rachel
Hi Hallos,,
I wonder if people like to be controlled,because that then means they dont have to be responsible for themselves...???
Hello Fleur,
Thankyou for your reply. I am really not sure....?
Rachelx
Hello Rachel, I don't know anything about people who like to be controlled, if I had to have a guess I would say it's because they like playing he victim, I have a friend like that, but it's just a guess. I do know a lot about being controlled as I allowed my Mum to control me until I was 34 basically because I was so scared of her and with good reason, I lost the plot evenually and being in counselling (and later studying counselling myself) taught me that I allowed it because emotionally I was 6 or 7 years old, often when there is abuse and/or trauma in the life of a child or young person they grow into adults physically and even mentally but remain emotionally immature.
I hope this helps.
Love
Rebecca x
Hello,
Why and how do we become a control freak? How do we change this behaviour?
Would E.F.T work?Love and sunshine
Rachel
Hi Rachel
You asked about EFT in this situation. I am sure it can help as what we find is that so many problems in adulthood stem from unresolved experiences in childhood. The emotional charge attached to those experiences can be neutralised or disipated, sometimes amazingly quiickly, using EFT.
Now, whether a controlling personality would agree to EFT is another matter, as they are unlikely to see there is any problem. If it was someone very close to me I might be tempted to tap for them on myself, but I'd have thought it's not something for a beginner to do.
If on the other hand someone who realises they have to hold themselves together so hard so as not to show weakness or allow themselves to get hurt again wants to resolve that sort of problem, then that is a lot simpler to deal with.
It's worth going to www.emofree.com and using their search engine. I put in control freak and came up with 4 reports, but you know what you are looking for.
Hope that helps
Love and Light
Caroline
Hello Rebecca,
Thankyou for your reply. I do think you have a point about being a victim. Im glad your changing things for the better!! Well done to you. Its very interesting what you said about the immature thing!! As...i too dont have a great relationship with my mum.....i tend to not speak my truth as i dont like confrontation.
Hello Myarka,
Thankyou again for your reply. Yes your reply did make sense. Perhaps you can tell me why people seem to like being controlled?Rachel
Hi Rachel,
I think that people who like to be controlled is a bit more complex. At one level there are the 2 extremes, leaders and followers, with most people falling somewhere between the 2.
But I don't think that's what you are asking about, to be more specific I'm guessing you would like to know why people allow themselves to be controlled within a relationship?
In that case I think it can be one of two reasons, or a combination of both. Some can't or don't want to take responsibility and therefore allow themselves to be controlled to enable them to avoid responsibility. Or it can be caused by an absent parent, or over dominant parent, i.e. the need in a relationship to have that parental figure.
Myarka.
PS, I'm sorry my answers are short, but my internet connection keeps cutting off tonight
Hello Myarka,
Your comments are spot on. I find this subject all very intersting. How come you know so much about this stuff? Ive googled control freaks and it would also appear that....control freaks can go on to become abusive partners....there seems to be some sort of connection.
Rachelx
How come you know so much about this stuff?
1st hand experience of a lot of this stuff coupled with training I've had over the years.
Myarka.
Hi Rachel,
Well there will be a connection if you think about it, somebody who controls another is abusing them.
Love
Rebecca x
My son's x is a control freak, I once found information relating to one of Shakespeare's characters, Iago, one of the comments relating to this person having great control and wanting to destroy others was explained as 'the motive hunting of a motiveless malignancy' 😮