Hi all,
I dont know if this is right place for this thread to go on, but I really need advice, 6 months ago we sold our house to move to Australia, we went away on 2 weeks holiday, came back to London to say our goodbye to the families & stayed with all the families for 3 weeks before coming over in March, OH suffers from
Epilepsy but only when he's sleeping, so he had one after we came back from the holiday, so I put it for the stress of selling the house, leaving jobs etc, it was also normal for him to have one every 3 to 4 months, then first week we are in Australia and he has another one, so he said its the time difference he might not have taken the right amount medication. so on, we are here 4 months now, & every month he's been having one, I have begged him, argued with him, threathen him that I leave if he doesnt go see Doctor, but nothing goes in, he's stubbern, he wont go & see Doctor.
I'm feeling down, I cant talk to any of my family because they think every thing is fine, as neither of us can find jobs, but we came over here with the OH sponser visa, were he was sponser to come here that they need he's skill here, one big lie,
but I do love the country so maybe I think we might get job one day but dont know when, all my qualifications that i have done in massage & other holistic therapiest isnt reconisable here, so i cant get job in my field.
but i'm open to any jobs, but nothing, OH is an engineer, he still gets nothing, & honstley i never blamed him for taking us here, I love it here so I dont know why he's so stubbarn, please help.
He had one again last night I just moved out of the bedroom, I cant stand it why he's doing this to us, of course him having a fit doesnt only effect him it effects me too, cause I'm walking like zambie as I cant go back to sleep during the night, but he gets to sleep for 24 hours, & I have tobe strong for my children, there are loads of other issues, which isnt health related, he's just changed man, I dont know him, we only been married 23 years, I dont know how to get to him, I need help, how can I get him to see Doctor, why is playing the russian roult with our lives.
Shall I just give up & not bring up the subject, just go through this every month until he has heartache or something, the problem he's very very heavy smoker, not only he doesnt want to give up, the more you ask him not to do something he goes out of he's way & does it, he is also over weight, he doesnt drink, & no I'm not perfect either, but I dont smoke, but I feel like I am as he goes out of he's way to smoke around me, he smokes in the house which he never did, in the car. oh I'm so fed up.
Farideh x
RE: Why cant I get my OH to go & see a doctor
Hi Farideh,
Sorry to hear that you going through all this anxiety with your OH. I'm not sure about the rules in Australia, but is there a requirement that when you register with a Dr you have to undergo a health check? If not perhaps you can speak with your Dr and ask him to call your OH in for a once over.
As you've already tried threatening and shouting my advice would be to say nothing more. Make your home as calm and stress free as possible and treat him to some of your lovely therapies.
Most important of allremember to look after your own health.
Take care
RE: Why cant I get my OH to go & see a doctor
Can only repeat what Wesam says.
You know the saying "you can lead an horse to water but you cant make it drink", think that is the same with OH and the doctor. Maybe he is worried about the fits, but does not want to worry you. He could also think that if there is something really serious wrong and he has brought you here miles away from Friends and family to help you cope. The fits cope be worse because of the stress of not being able to get work even through he thought he got one, he may feel because of this he as failed you. So as Wesam said
Make your home as calm and stress free as possible and treat him to some of your lovely therapies.
Let him know you love it there and you are not just saying it to make him feel better. The only other thought I have maybe because this job fell through he thinks you all could be send back.
I have this feeling once you have sorted this job thing out the fits will get less and then return to normal (his normal that is).
Sending healing and positive energies to you all.
RE: Why cant I get my OH to go & see a doctor
I can understand what you are going through in Australia as I emigrated there in 1960 (many years ago). it is a worry when one enters a new country away from friends and family. Also the job situation can be bad. I would say your hubby is pretty stressed out so I would do my utmost to get him to see a doctor. Also why not ask him to visit a few job centres?
I am sure as new migrants, there should be some sort of help you can ask about. Get in touch with their local or town Social Security ( not sure what they call it out there now) and ask for help.
I did return back the the uk in 1969 but not because I disliked the country but personal problems.
But do your best but definately push hubby to seek medical help.
RE: Why cant I get my OH to go & see a doctor
I have still not manged to get him to see he's GP, I'm still trying, after he's fit he saidhe will go & see he's GP, but then he keep saying, I'm busy right now, I know its the stress of not being able to get job, & always do try to give him massage to relax him, but I think he needs to go for a check up,sadly I cant call he's GP & make an appointment for him, you trun up at the surgery & they see you, no appoinments, but the wait is long 2 to 3 hours, its not like in UK, I try to work on him tomorrow, see if he would listen.
Thank you so much for all your advice, & suggestion, I keep you updated if i mange to get him see a doctor.
cheers.
Farideh
RE: Why cant I get my OH to go & see a doctor
HI
i know how you feel, as we emigrated 6 months ago, and its hard anyway without the factor of not having jobs etc.
I would imagine that a lot of it has been bought on by stress, and maybe if your hubbie goes to the docs they can help him with the right amount of medication, maybe it needs looking at as his stress levels are higher, it could be as simple as that, but you can only support him and reason with him and hope that he will go and sort it out soon. This can only be making him tired and restlessalong with everything else.
Do you not have a 'body' that you can talk to relating to jobs etc. Is there not an 'emigrating' site or place you can go to, help with research for jobs or settling in.
It is very lonely when you are tryingto settle somewhere and friends and family are so far away.
Good luck. Ihope something turns up for you, and i hope your hubbie seeks help soon.
Sheangel
?????
??????????????????????<a class="go2wpf-bbcode" rel="nofollow" target="_blank" href="???">????????????????????????????????????????????? ?????????????????????????????????????????????????? ??80???????????????<a class="go2wpf-bbcode" rel="nofollow" target="_blank" href="????">??????????????????? ?????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????61?????????????????????????????? 1203?????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????? 18??????????????????1743????????????????????????????????? 1833??????????????????????????? 1835?????????????????<a class="go2wpf-bbcode" rel="nofollow" target="_blank" href="???">?????????????? 1846????????????????????????????????????? 1854???????????????????????????????????????? 1889????????????????????<a class="go2wpf-bbcode" rel="nofollow" target="_blank" href="???">?????????? 1892???????????????????????15?????????110????????? ???????????????????????????????????????????????????57?????2016????????????800????????????????????????????????????????????????????????<a class="go2wpf-bbcode" rel="nofollow" target="_blank" href="???">???????????????????????????????????????????