Hi
I'm kind of embarrassed to write this, but I feel I have no other choice. I have been married for a year, before which I was a virgin (male). I am around 30 and for some reason I cannot get a proper erection. In this year or marriage, I think I have had a full erection twice and I cannot tell you how frustrating this is for me and my wife.
When I eventually did get a full erection (twice), I was able to perform very well, but now, when if I do get an erection, I end up ejaculating too quickly.
I feel this is damaging my marriage and was hoping someone could help.
Thanks for reading.
the_cowboy.
Recommend you talk over this with your GP. He (or she) should be able to recommend you to a therapist skilled in sexual health.
There are a lot of articles in the internet that you can read. First you have to know wether is a physiological problem or a physical problem (insuficient blood pleasure going to the penis). If is the first one, you can fix it with some therapies, if is the second one you need drugs, like viagra, to get it up.
Good Look!
Luisa
Interesting typo, Luisa - blood pleasure???
(PS - I would not recommend Viagra if there is a blood pressure problem, which is why it is important to see a GP for onward referral)
You know Jabba, when a men have an erection, his penis accumulate a lot of blood (it fill out with it, thats why their veins gets thicker)...the main problem when a men can't get an erection (talkin about physical dysfunction) is because there's enough blood pleasure going there.
Important what you said, Viagra has side effects that can cause problems like: blurred vision, sensitivity to light, diarrhea, painful urination, frequent urination, dizzy spells, bloody or cloudy urine and bladder pain.
Well, good luck cowboy
Interesting typo, Luisa - blood pleasure???
(PS - I would not recommend Viagra if there is a blood pressure problem, which is why it is important to see a GP for onward referral)
Simple test
Hi Cowboy
A simple test for phsycological dysfunction is to fasten a strip of paper around the penis at night. Some people say to use a strip of stamps but that could prove expensive ! Because when you sleep you will normally have erections and these will not be affected by physcological factors and if the paper is broken in the morning the physical aspects are fine.
be careful cos papercuts hurt in that area of the body.
Failure to get an erection has been linked for many years with anxiety/stress. So the more you focus on the problem the more stressed you become and the worse it gets. So you may try some form of relaxation - anti-stress technique.
Most things about sex start in the mind.so provided you have no physical problems, then you might look there.
Hi Cowboy, you can get an erection so thats brilliant. Sounds like its not happening as often as you'd like and that you are not yet able to control the length of time it's with you. Good advice to see your GP, worth having GP check you over anyway, even if you don't want the medicine route. At least he can assure you that all is ok.
Once thats done I would recommend a little downsizing (pardon the pun!) of your expectations at each contact with your wife. They do say that if you just play for a while, without the expectation of full action then you can begin to relax, pressure to perform is off for the mo. Build it gradually. You were a virgin til only recently, sex like many things is a truly wonderful gift, but can take practice to perfect. It is certainly worth it. Find the patience and smiles that you need to share the journey.
You have plenty of time together, reassure yourself and your lovely partner that you can learn together. There is plenty of self help info out and about - there have been a couple of good books rec'd on this site, in this forum.
Make the play time special, set time and a place aside for your pleasure, it's not always about the full sex. Enjoy each other and your very special relationship. You have already honoured her, she is the only one you are to have these pleasures with.
Many blessings to you, and keep us posted.
Julesx
The other drug works well. It is known as the weekend drug, and lowers your blood pressure. Celesta, sorry for the spelling. Just take half a pill every day, and you will be able and ready when she is, and amazingly two,
or three times. I do not need this product, but it is great for a vaction, or what ever. And my doc said that it will not hurt you, if you do not need it. Unlike Viagra, which you can end up with a 4 hour erection, ouch. Try it you will like it. Keep it a secret from your wife if you have to.
Hi Barret,:)
While we appreciate your help, we do need to mention what was prescribed for you may not be suitable for another. We recommend members to seek their own doctor for advice regarding prescribed drugs.
On behalf of the Moderating Team,
calla lily
please visit www.amazingherbalremedies.com.
or write to ravish@amazingherbalremedies.com
I hope you will get rid of your problem using the appropriate remedy.
There is a good natural alternative you can try for ED, it is called horny goat weed and the Chinese swear by it. I will look for some more information on it and share my research with you.
Cowboy,
I could not find any info on horny goat weed, but last time I went to my doctor he told me that my erectile dysfunction was psychological because I was getting erections in the morning but could not get one when it was time to preform. Try to find out if yours is psychological, this is a good read on it:
http://www.edguider.com/edblog/2008/10/23/is-my-erectile-dysfunction-is-psychological/ and if it is you can try kegel exercises which are suppose to help the pelvic muscles. I do these 3 times a week and it has helped my ED allot and reduced my stress level. Hope that helps.
The reason why some teens can't get it up it's masturbation in every day.
They simply look at the monitor and they masturbate...
I can't understand them.
I used to have the same problem.
I also had a 10yr chronic back pain and eventually RSI. I used to use (sexual) pills but the headaches during and after were awful.
When I went to Alexander Techniques sessions everything started to change for the better. I really recommend it for that.
After a couple of months of going, I realised I had a 'fear of pain' in my left testicle which stems back to an operation I had as a child which was preventing me releasing my muscles/and relax. It was almost like I was in a perminant state of flinch and was uncomfortable with girls touching them.
The Alexander Technique cleared up my problems, gave me a good body and gave me total sexual control. I would also recommend a book called 'Multi Orgasmic Man' (by Shia or Shiv? It also helped learn about control) and Reflexology (I used to poo-poo it but when learning the Alex Tech I realised it's excellent after all). It also helped with the getting over the 'fear of pain'!
Nowadays I can go on for hours! Im a stallion, Whoo-ho!
Let me know how you get on.